Geraldine

Just got off the phone.

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I had the feeling that this week would be a drab one but you know, you create your own entertainment as and when you want. Don’t be naughty and take somebody out, or punch a glass panel and hurt yourself. No, I don’t mean that obviously, but harmless fun is okay.

As I headed to Palm Asian Café@Novotel Orchid for a typical family dinner, I was all zonked out from work. It’s just raining work seriously. I have not gone out since last weekend. Well, well, the buffet was great as always. It’s nice to eat and talk. And when there’s no talk, you people watch. I like that, though I try not to come to conclusions about their life. You never know who you might meet in future, and you probably want to avoid statements like “Oh yeah, I remember, you were the bloke at the buffet who farted and made yo momma faint.”

Well, just as I was about to down a mussel, something caught my eye. No wait, something really nice caught my eye. Erm… it was a girl’s behind. *Sheepish grin* Call me a pervert or a sicko but I’m just being honest here. And even guys with girlfriends look at other chicks (whether or not you like it or know it), so don’t crucify me. As it turns out, she’s a hot chick. Looks somewhat Pan-Asian but I’m not sure. I scribble on my serviette:

“Hey, get out of your seat, walk 3 steps right, 8 steps left, look up, look down, look straight, look down. What do you see? Yourself? Yes. But you’re missing the point, the last command was look down. Ah… that’s right. It’s a compliment. You look lovely.”

Alright she was near a mirror and the point was to get her there. I waited till someone from her table came to the buffet table. I think it must have been her sister or someone. When she received it, I waited for her reaction. Sometimes they laugh it off, sometimes they look around and sometimes they share it with the family and they press charges for invasion of personal privacy. I shrug off such suggestions, it’s just another way to know a woman. This one opened the serviette under the table and read it. She acted as if she knew what it was.

Then she did the unthinkable.

She actually walked those steps, looked up and down and made a complete idiot of herself. Actually, that was and is never my point. My point is simply that you are so comfortable with yourself that sometimes, you don’t know how beautiful you are. So you should look at yourself closer in mirror and be proud of what you have.

I intentionally go to the buffet table when she leaves her table. Here’s where the magic happens. She walks up to me.

Girl: Eh, you wrote this note?
Jon: (cocks head) Yes. Yes, I did.
Girl: Shhh! You know I’m with my family. This is the wrong place. Look we better hide behind this pillar. If they see me I’m dead.

*We run behind a Romanesque pillar of the Ionic style.

Jon: Why? Why are you dead? My family is here too.
Girl: Yes. But my mum. If she saw the note, she’d kill you.
Jon: Oh, mine too. I’m such an angel in front of them.
Girl: (smiles) yeah, and a devil behind their back.
Jon: I’m not a hypocrite. But you’re beautiful.
Girl: You mean I’ve got a nice ass.
Jon: Well, you’re beautiful PLUS you got a nice ass.
Girl: Alright, so what do you want from me?
Jon: Give me your number. I’ll contact you.
Girl: What?! No, how dare you ask for my number!
Jon: Fine, I will get it from you mum than.

*I start walking towards her table.

Girl: (from behind the pillar, whispering) OEI!!! COME BACK!!!

*I look at her and shrug my shoulders. Continue walking ahead.

The thing is, I wasn’t going to ask her parents for her number. Like HELL NO! I might be brave, but I’m not stupid. What’s funny is that just when I’m about to reach her table, she comes from behind and grabs my hand, then she announces to her family:

Girl: This is my friend. I have not seen him for a few years now. So strange how I should meet him here.
Jon: (momentarily surprised, but masking it obviously) Yes, it is nice meeting again. I thought out of courtesy, I should say hello to you guys. Don’t want to be rude you know.

*Murmurs of approval from the family.

Girl’s Dad: Well than. Thanks for popping over. That’s nice of you.
Girl’s Mum: Yes, dear. Tell us where you met Geraldine.

THERE YOU GO. CLUE NUMBER 1. GOT HER NAME!!! YEAH!!!!!

Jon: (Sweet smile, very very important, especially to mum) Oh. Met Geraldine at some school meeting a few years back when we were in secondary school. Those inter-school meetings. But I remember her pretty well because she’s very intelligent and our school had some collaboration with hers. Long story. I should tell you some other time.
Girl: Well, yes. Those were good memories. I loved my secondary school time. Why not I go catch up with him for a while first. Be back after 5 minutes.

*We run out to the hobby lobby.

Jon: WOW! Quick thinking. I’m mighty impressed.
Geraldine: You too, asshole.
Jon: Yes, Geraldine.
Geraldine: What the…? You even got my name!
Jon: Mum said it. Too bad. Haha.
Geraldine: Silly boy. Do you still want my number?
Jon: Not really, but I want to meet you for coffee.
Geraldine: Well no number no coffee.
Jon: Yeah. Try giving me your email and MSN. I’m equally potent either way.
Geraldine: (laughs) You’re cute. I like you.
Jon: You’re beautiful plus you got a nice ass. I like that.
Geraldine: Say that one more time and I’ll slap you.
Jon: You’re beautiful plus you got a…
Geraldine: Shhh… NO! Okay, I’ll give you my number. You sound decent enough.
Jon: Whoooo!
Geraldine: Here you go.

*Exchange of numbers. I’m actually excited but of course, I can’t jump up and down can I? I have to be Mr. Cool. It’s such a rotten part of being masculine.

Geraldine: You better call me. I don’t give my number out free of charge.
Jon: Sure, I’ll call you at midnight tonight. I guarantee that.
Geraldine: Alright, I’ll wait. Better go back. What you gonna say to your mum?
Jon: I’ll just say mum I love you and give her a kiss. All will be fine.
Geraldine: Dad?
Jon: Same thing.
Geraldine: Yuck. Why don’t you date my mum? You seem to be in love with her.
Jon: Not really. Though good genes produce wonderful offspring.
Geraldine: (Blushes) Idiot. Okay, look, I really have to go.

I give her a kiss on her hand and she runs off. I walk back to my table.

Mum: Wah, where did you go ah?
Jon: Diahorrea. Stomach hurts like hell.
Mum: You okay or not? Don’t waste our money. Eating buffet you know?
Jon: No. I’m okay. In fact, I’ll walk over to the buffet table to look at some food.

As I walk over, something catches my eye. No wait, something really nice catches my eye. And you know who that is. :)