Seeing all the couples romantically involved along the river side suddenly made me yearn for a partner. I don’t really know. It’s been a while since I was last attached. Properly attached and committed I mean. Something like 11 months. Long time huh? *smile* It’s probably my fault the majority of the time. I’m either too picky or too snobbish. That’s the thing. The more you experience, the more exclusive your standards, and the worse things become. I’ve gone past the cutie stage but some people 25 years old and above are still there. And progressing too fast eliminates plenty of opportunities. I remember hating immaturity and over-dependence. And I still do. But I ask myself: Seriously Jon, if you got someone younger than yourself, say 21. How mature do you really expect her to be? Some have said I’m 26 and some idiot even guessed I was 30!
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not desperate. I won’t relax my principles and zoom off with anyone who’s prepared to give me their hand. Just that I’m wondering whether compromise is sometimes necessary. I do admit readily that I’m not perfect and so for a woman to accept me, there has to be compromise on her part. And so why not on my part? Gone are the days where the ACS-MGS bgr thing was the rave. Besides, I never got to know many MGS girls. Why compete with the elite in your school for the same few boobs? After all, at 15, girls go for looks only, and a boyfriend is merely a “cool looking accessory”. Instead, I was all over the place, TKGS, SMSS, RGS. AND I was busy dating 20-something year olds at 16 in any case. I no longer harbour hope of meeting the Ms Perfect i.e. the dream girl. But I’ve met Ms Universe, Ms Singapore, Ms Australia and Ms Galaxy before albeit with a bit of imagination and self deceit. They were good enough though. I don’t need anyone to compliment/complete me. I’m pretty self sufficient. Besides, I am multi-faceted. Like what Yiping told me the other day, she just wants to meet her doppelganger. Me too. I have met them on the rare occasion but sometimes things just don’t work out.
I think it’s bad of me to go out with so many females at a go. I don’t even give any of them a chance to know me. And the sorry truth is that I have no intention of knowing them any better and that’s sad. Rarely would I even care to ask for a second date. In fact, if I was looking for a second date, chances are that I wouldn’t be myself. You see, cockiness can only be experienced once. After that, it becomes arrogance and that is not good.
Claudia and I were at IndoChine@The Waterfront. Her boyfriend is back in Italy and she doesn’t know if he will remain faithful. The calls and emails have been getting less and less frequent. She cries a bit and I feel sorry for her. But my consolations must have sounded hollow and insincere because I didn’t make her feel better. But I let her talk and throw out her pent-up feelings. Sometimes it’s better that way.
When we walk past the river, I tell her I miss having a girlfriend. I miss having someone to hold tight and say I miss you after she goes to the bathroom for a minute. I speak of physical contact metaphorically. The women I like best are those that hug you with their smile and kiss you their words. Words speak a thousand pictures.
Claudia says she needs a hug and gets me to hug her. The silly thing is that, after it’s done, neither of us feel better. She still misses her boyfriend and I still want to hug something I love. I don’t love her and even if she had the best body I still wouldn’t be attracted. We have a good laugh after that though the dolefulness of the matter hovers thick in the air. I send her home and we’re both quiet. I can tell she has been crying in the taxi. I long to hug her and tell her everything will be alright. But if it doesn’t turn out alright, I’d be lying, so I wave to her and shoo into her house.
Tomorrow is the official launch of the Japanese restaurant I designed a while ago. I decided to ask Laurentia to be my shana maidelah. She’s a Romanian doctor based in France whom I met a couple of years ago when she was touring Melbourne. Because our relationship was built on nothing but sex (or rather she wanting to have intense sex), it didn’t last. The fact that she wanted to bear my kids was a tad too chilling. She even had names for them – Jereme and Evangeline. Anyway, she’s here to get married to her husband who is Singaporean. He will have a nice time taming the shrew since he can’t run away. Felicity, if you were here, you would have been my first choice for the function. Primera Uno. But too bad, Jon will get all the Japanese babes before you. Haha :)
Oh I decided to make myself happy. And all of you too. Here are my all-time top 3 favourite women as of 23 August 2005. Mischa Barton has been dethroned. Muahaha!!! The girl who sang the National Day Song with Taufik, I think she’s called Rui En. My elder sister’s ex-classmate, I think along with Stefanie Sun. She’s pretty hot too isn’t she? Too bad no pictures though. Enjoy!
1. Lin Chiling
2. Mischa Barton
3. Gisele Bundchen
1. Lin Chiling
2. Mischa Barton
3. Gisele Bundchen
3 comments:
shana maidelah(!) Haven't heard that in a while babyyyy!! haha...
jon!!! need to talk to u asap!!! what's ur email add.
why dear, what's wrong???
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