I’ve always been bad at maintaining things. Yes, yes, so my blog is breeding mosquitoes. Thank you all for your helpful and oh-so-discreet probing: in my face, behind my back, and even in cyberspace.
In recent times, I’ve had plenty of insightful conversations – insightful meaning heartfelt, sincere, intelligent communication. These possibly stretch for up to 6 hours and are brain draining, yet rewarding. Nevertheless, they are requisite for knowing someone better. Talking to both Song Ai and Vivienne has taught me something: It is possible to love someone without actually loving them.
You see, there are 2 kinds of love – a genuine, concerned love for an individual (which might be expressed in a parent to child relationship/brother to brother relationship and other permutations) and a romantic love (boy meets girl and vice versa).
Generally, the distinctions between the two are clearest within families. One cannot deny the existence of the former love, if not the whole concept of a family would break down. Age is also a good distinction, although this can be blurred because there are weird people around, such as yours truly. What really troubles most people in their 20s is the feasibility of romantic love between two individuals, which they cannot handle. As the saying goes – Boys and girls can never be good friends. This usually results in parties avoiding each other after an initial “close” period. It can also occur if parties do not understand each other well enough or long enough (Song Ai). Most disturbingly, it reveals a lack of maturity, at the same time exposing a lack of experience.
How would you react if a guy gave you a bag of sweets?
If you were hot, you might think it sweet of him, but ugh, how desperate and… my 89th bag of sweets and counting. How boring can life get?
If you were not that hot, you might think oh SHIT… he likes me! How?! Damn it?!
If you were deprived, you might think oh CRAP, no one has ever given me sweets before. Die, he’s such a big pervert!
If you were nice, you would share it to all your friends and say you bought it specially for them without mentioning the guy in question
What would you do? Let me just say from experience that a popular girl never, ever overreacts because it gives the game away. Even if she’s impressed, she will always take it in her stride. Guys would do well to realise that, yet not misinterpret it should the converse be true. But even if you misinterpret (which is most of the time), so what?
You know, I’m simply of the opinion that people don’t enjoy playing with fire. And I don’t know why. It could be the “there’s no-one-else-like-her/him-so-I-can’t-let-her/him-go” syndrome. But that’s a load of crap and self pity. Think about it boys, after getting rejected, how quickly do you locate a new target? Think about it girls. How many of you get a “rebound guy” days after a break up?
So just how do you distinguish between the 2 “loves”? How do you know when someone wants to be “just friends”?
The answer is that you DON’T. Because a lot of the times, THEY DON’T! It’s all a matter of good fortune, timing and emotions. Most of times, rejection occurs because of confusion, not because of abstinence. I suggest that the 2 loves be blurred at all times where deemed practical. Always keep both options open, yet closed. Be mindful, yet open. What I mean is: Be excessively nice to everyone, much, much more than what is required/expected. In this way, not only will everyone appear “special”, it also makes you appreciate the people around you more.
As for the romantic sort of love, put that aside. If can’t love your friends, how can you cope with a partner?
A parting shot which Vivienne has backed me up on: Girls can smell desperation from 10 light years away. Never, never, never be desperate. The longer you wait the better for you. If I were you, focus on God. Let Him provide.
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Here’s something beautiful to look at. A few sketches of mine:
And also please do check out my auctions by clicking on the link on the right panel. I DO want to get my Leica DiLux 3 badly.
5 comments:
no, i'm not despo. was checking etsy just now and decided to pop by your blog. thought the last para was good, an unexpectedly fine ending to a common viewpoint (because most ppl know they shdnt be despo, even if they cant help being so). Thanks b-dude (hot ginger!), for your wisdom.
oh, and beautiful sketches too! esp the 3D pics at the bottom half of each page - didnt realise how hard it is to get angles and perspectivers right till i tried redrawing a photo the other day.
xxxxx
oh, btw... BOOOOIIIINNNGGGG!!!! :) :) :) :)
*awkward silence*
Was just thinking of you.. I wished I had talked to you a while on the phone while I had the chance. But I shall this week before you leave.
Had a pang of homesickness for a while. Boo Hoo! Tell mum I love her and say hi to your chio bu friends for me. er.. *awkward silence*
"They shall seek but they will not find" thus is the paradox of things isnt it?
Confucius say, Man who wants nurse for wife must first be patient..
*Awkward Silence*
Oh before I forget, CONGRATS ON UPDATING! I'll buy you drinks :P haha..
More updates man! BESTOW US WITH YOUR WISDOM!
"... and say hi to your chio bu friends for me" yay, that means i dont have to do anything ;)
mum says you're sweet and she loves you too (even if your bad leedle meimei doesnt) Thanks v v much for calling even in the midst of all the busyness and mooncake making :)
take good care muahmuahmuah
nice drawings. now u can draw me my future house...let me see what can i have for my house?? erm..start with a garden outside and a small fountain and some stone pavements, etc....LOL!! =D
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