The main aim of our trip to Bangkok was not to shop. NOT to shop. It was simply to spend quality time together, understand each other better, strengthen bonds. You can say we aren’t exactly lovey dovey and to be honest, I’d rather keep it this way. To a large extent, this main aim was fulfilled. Of course, the shopping/sightseeing/eating/massaging was inevitable.
Talking to Mik has somewhat revived the demons of past relationships – that of insecurity and the desire to give up. It is a bad thing because when you attempt to shut something out of your life, it returns with ever so much venom and creates a hell of a lot more destruction. But all the more, I’m determined not to lapse into self-pity again.
Sometimes there are circumstances in your life you can’t do anything about. Fine, even though we might be resigned to fate, let me just say that I will not let nature take its course. I spit in the face of fate. If fate wants some, he’s gotta COME GET SOME. I don’t believe in “it’s meant to be” or “you both were just not fated to be together”. You see, how can you know your own fate? Accepting fate is the same as giving up, it’s the same as saying “I quit, you win”. I think if you’re not quite so passionate about something, you wouldn’t bother fighting for it as much, would you? I’ve seen death face to face so what is fate? Let me get this clear, under all circumstances, fate is not invincible. Then, when you defeat fate, that becomes your destiny. You write your own fate in some sense. Of course, there’s always God’s plan which takes precedence.
Mik, I know you read this and I want you to know that I’m not backing out. I know I let you down, I know I’m disappointing. I don’t believe in “love knows no bounds” but I do believe in fighting for your sake. It’s worth it and I’d never say it with more conviction than now. I know you want me to fight it. And because you are at stake, I cannot and will not tap out. I guaranteed you something special at least till February 2006 and I will keep to my word. I don’t want to guarantee “till death do us part” but it’s gonna be very very close. We prayed about it, and I sincerely hope things look up on your side.
Give me time to turn things around dear. In the meantime, believe me, I am here.
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More about our trip itself later, more important things to be done.
About Jon
- Jon Lai
- Lion City, Gibraltar
- I would like to think of myself not just as an architect or a designer. Hell no, i don't particularly desire to be "arty farty". Instead, I'm just doing my job on earth, taking care of mankind and minding other people's business. There is nothing more rewarding than making someone smile. The simple things of life amuse me. Teddy bears make me happy. I don't stare at women. Yet I complicate life. Welcome to my dynasty.
4 comments:
Glad you're back home safely bro. Anyway, whatever it is in your r/ship with Mik, i pray that the Lord will guide you and grant you a heart of discernment just as He has granted Solomon. =)
Take care bro. Hope to catch up with you soon!
Thanks Darl, I was just getting ready to go to work when I read this. You so totally rockkkk you know. Love you lots. *smooch*
bud,that is fantastic. it takes a lot to work through past demons, but for what its worth, ive known you through your posts as a man of your word. to have you say all that to Miko is a positive thing.Sometimes all a girl needs is a little reassurance, you know?
bless you both..
sam: thanks dude... God bless your heart.
gill: as always thanks for your support. greatly appreciated. :) I guess I don't understand the fairer sex all that well do I? heh
Dearest m: You rock my sockkssss babyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!
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