How to get a girl on a bus

I’m led to believe that the majority of Singaporeans take public transport to work/school etc. A common mode is the bus. The good old public bus that we’re so accustomed to. This forms the research setting for my topic of the day. Of course, I’m sure you’re smart enough to manipulate the following information to your good use. Each to his own.

I don’t guarantee results. But personally, I’m 100% (4 out of 4, the latest being this morning, hence this article). Results are dependant on the individual. Unless you have 3 heads and 17 arms, I’m pretty confident that the average male will be able to pull this off. I just do this for fun. There’s nothing better than to break early morning monotony.

Day 1: Identify your target.

Vital Step: Unless she’s in the back row, try to sit behind her. Remember which stop she gets off at. If the bus isn’t crowded, people usually sit in the same place. Try to remember where she sits (in relation to the exit etc.) DON’T be silly and talk to her immediately. Be cool.

Day 2: Continue your groundwork.

Confirm the bus stop she gets off at. Try to predict her movements. It’s pretty easy because people love routines. It gives them a sense of security.
Day 3: Move in.

Slowly but surely, move in for the kill. Don’t rush, understand that you have the upper hand because you know where she’s going to get off.

Vital Step: Try to sit next to her. Pretend to sleep. Don’t take sneak peeks because you’re meant to be sleeping. Again, observe where she gets off and any other little quirks. If she gets on the bus earlier than you, it means she will be in the window seat and you, the aisle seat. ACT NORMAL. Don’t draw attention to yourself.

Day 4: Action.

Here’s where the trick lies. Again, sit next to her. Pretend to be agitated, as if you can’t find a seat anywhere else. If not, talk on your mobile as if sitting next to her was something casual, a by the way sort of thing. It is very important not to blow your cover.

Again, go to sleep. After a while, you might want to purposely block her path by crossing your legs/putting your knees on the seat in front of you. Remember which stop she gets off. Close to the stop, she’ll probably get irritated because this idiot is sleeping next to her and she doesn’t know how to get out. Just before the stop, drop your knees and move sideways so she can get out. You can still try to look sleepy to dramatise things (comes from practice). This masterstroke lets her know that you remember where she gets off (you sat next to her yesterday). More significantly, it lets her know that you notice her and in a subtle, almost subconscious way, care for her well being. All this WHILE SLEEPING. If you’re a good enough actor or plain lucky, you might get a smile. If I were you, don’t smile back, just look tired, as if it were a great effort to stir yourself from your sleep. It’ll make her feel bad. Yesterday morning, the girl actually turned back to look at me. I was still pretending to sleep. Bingo, she’s noticed you, job well done!

Day 5: Success!!!

When you walk down the aisle to look for a seat, there is a very, very high chance that she will acknowledge your presence with a smile. That’s your cue to talk to her.

Points to note:

1. It might not take just 5 days. Some women are dense. Don’t worry, if you carry on doing the same thing for say 4 days in a row, there’s no way she won’t notice.

2. The idea is to be discreet in your intentions, yet deliberate in your actions. Let her know that you are making space for her to get out. You did your ground work, that’s pretty impressive in itself.

3. Be calm. Don’t push things, you’re supposed to be a stranger. Let her take her time. If you jump the gun, you’ll simply scare her away.

4. Patience is key.

When you do get the smile of approval from her, it’s a sign that she’s let her guard down. Let me just say that it is extremely rewarding. After that you’re on your own, but the hard part of getting the first word out is complete. I reckon it’s a safer and more advantageous way of approaching an attractive stranger. Always do your groundwork. Be prepared at all times.