On younger men and older women.

On younger men and older women

8am, over Teh-O-Peng and I’m thinking hard about this topic which forms my discussion/thought of the day. This, I write in response to a relatively eloquent article written by dear J on her site. It pays to take a read first because:

I’m a fan of her written work. It’s good stuff.
You get where I come from.
You boost her hit counters.

Now, to the hardcore conservative, close-minded Singaporean, it is considered socially acceptable to see a younger woman with an older man. No other permutations are permitted and with the occasional compromise comes a plethora of hush hush whispering and wagging of tongues. What is the rational behind this social stigma?

If everything has its roots in the Bible, then Adam was created before Eve. Logically this makes him older and therefore, more experienced by a few hours. Okay, then Adam and Eve have offspring. Since there was no one else on Earth at that time, it is only logical to conclude that brothers and sisters must have made love to reproduce. Chances are that Adam and Eve didn’t give birth alternatively to Boy-Girl-Boy-Girl right? Which means that since the beginning of time, it was already ordained that younger men could coexists in perfect unity with older women. God has naught to say about that.

At this point of time, I interview 2 of my camp mates on their views. LCP Zul and PTE Mohd.

Jon: Aye, what do you think of younger men dating older women?

Both: Okay what why?? You like older girl ah?

Jon: Not now, but yes, in general. What you think of going out with a woman, say 3 years older?

Both: (Dubiously) That’s fine. Nothing wrong.

Jon: Good. How about 10 years than?

Zul: (Trying overly hard to be diplomatic) Er… I think it’s okaaaaay.

Mohd: (Explodes) NO NO NO NO NO!!!

Jon: Okay. Twenty years?

Zul: (Explodes too) Wah! Cannot lah!

Mohd: (Makes puking noises) You sick bastard.

Jon: Hmmm… what happens if I told you I went out with a woman 20 years my senior and I’ve never had a girlfriend younger than myself?

Zul: (Mega-explosion) HAAAAH?!?!?!

Mohd: Yeah right! You’re not that kind of person.

Jon: (frowning hard) I so am that kind of person. But never mind, why do you think younger men and older women won’t work out?

Zul: Nah, it doesn’t work that way. I won’t even think of doing it. Women grow up much faster than men. At 20, a man might still be into his hobbies and leading an active lifestyle but the lady would be career driven. Then there’s a lack of similarities and likely both will be on different wavelengths. Males are unlikely to share their problems with someone as old as their mum.

Mohd: How can you be really turned on by a woman with saggy breasts and ass?

Jon: True. It would be a travesty for a 20 year old male to resort to Viagra due to Erectile Dysfunction. So neither of you would consider dating older women?

Both: (loud chorus) NOOOO!!!

They frolic off a bit childishly after that, giggling somewhat. Effeminate behaviour. But you know, they embody, I believe, a large population of the typical male. Not just Singaporean mind you.

Now, why would an older woman want a younger man?

More energy. A younger hunk might be able to do acrobatics an older male might break his back doing. Stunts aside, I believe a lot of energy expended during love making comes from the male. I’m not sure if this heightens the woman’s pleasure or not. The woman tends to on the passive side. Alright, I confess my knowledge is limited to porn movies. There’s the occasional 40 year old tigress in bed I believe.

Boy toy. I hate this. But even mum has told me I should stop seeing a certain somebody (7 years my senior) because I would be her little boy. Damn it la.

He’s fresh and cares not about the worries of the world. Ambitious and full of ideas is the way to go. She would prefer that to an old and doddery male with wrinkled privates and an inflexible outlook towards life.

Fetish (?!?!)

Conversely, why would a younger man want an older woman? And I say this from experience.

Financial Stability. No, I’m not looking to scrub or be a gigolo (in fact I paid for most meals and she didn’t whip a fuss) but at a mercenary worst, getting money any way is good I guess. Think capital to start up your own firm. *gleam in eyes*

Older women, in general are more mature and better able to hold intellectual conversations, rather than the sub-standard 18 year old concerned about cheap fashion trends and getting as many pairs of earrings for 10 quid.

Note: For point 2, I’ve been proven wrong on several occasions. But, I reiterate, in general, it is rare to find someone younger than 22 with a strong sense of maturity.

The “Power Suit” factor I like to call it. Older women exude class a helluva lot more than little girls trying to pull the classy look off. More than not, young women in power suits look way out of place anyway, simply because they can’t carry off that chic, executive look. Look at it this way, Ms 20yearsold gets an authentic Royce watch studded with real diamonds that costs 100k. Ms 40yearsold gets the exact same model from a dingy shed in Bangkok for 100 Baht or $5. Ms 20yearsold’s teeny bopper friends don’t believe she’s got an authentic Royce because “even warranty cards can be faked nowadays”. On the other hand, Ms 40yearsold’s clients and contemporaries admire her sophisticated taste and commend her on it. Who is able to pull it off? You get the point. It’s a huge ego booster for men to conquer classy ground that existed 20 years before they did.

Fetish. Again, my fetish lies not in powerful women nor power suits nor MILFs. That said, a well-dressed, confident woman with good posture, poise and a dignified air plays herself into my good books straightaway. I remember going slightly wild/uncontrollable when Ms40 met me in a power suit once.

Tonight I will meet a dear friend, Tin. And then on Wednesday night, Kimberly. Both are well-versed knowledgeable graduates in the finance/banking sector. We will see things from a woman’s point of view, hopefully.

In the mean time, think and cut loose stereotypes. Idleness is the refuge of weak minds.