Anger Management

The amount of anger in this world is unbelievable. It is absurd how a small argument can quickly escalate into a broken relationship and in the more than occasional extreme case, murderous intent.

This morning at work, one of the officers goes berserk when a customer sends in a complaint and he gets screwed by his superior. He makes no attempt to hide his anger, literally throwing things around the place – files, pens, potted plants etc. The language he used was astoundingly atrocious, yes, worse that Jon cussing I promise. Worse is the fact that no one attempted to pacify him or shut him up. Imagine if director had walked into the office at that time, I’m pretty sure he would have lost his job, and then he would be sorry for his inability to control his emotional reactions.

A few moments later, I get yelled at by a female officer for not completing some assignment I honestly know nothing about. I’m okay, I get it done ASAP then she complains it’s not cleared properly, the plans are missing, shortfall payment etc. I promise her I’d sort it out and go about doing it. This involves calling the clients. She, in the meantime decides to stand behind me breathing down my neck and snorting/grunting at punctuated intervals. Most unprofessional is the fact that while I’m speaking to the clients, she’s yapping behind me whining about how lousy the system is and how irresponsible I am.

I just shut up. Experience tells me so, and in any case, I am too weary to quarrel. Quarrels get nowhere and make a fool of both parties. She takes my subservience as a sign of weakness I suppose. I’m not too bothered what she thinks. I would never raise my voice at a woman anyway. I’m reminding myself all this while “Keep your dignity Jon, keep your dignity”.

You know, the strange thing is that I bump into her at morning tea and she apologises. She also tells me how rough life is at home, husband not doing his job, children doing badly at school etc. I just listen and nod. Didn’t ask for it of course. This goes on for a good 45 minutes. It is one-sided conversation but sometimes to listen is all you have to do, giggling and adding smart comments isn’t a wise thing to do. I guess she feels better now. She gave me a little smile just now.

It’s important not to lose your anger, even more so for men. I view it as an essential flaw. A man’s honour and integrity in character is built on mental strength. A hunk with no dignity will be exposed sooner or later. When his muscles wane over the years, he will become a burden to society and to those around him. I also don’t mean keeping all your anger within you and then exploding all of a sudden on an unsuspecting victim e.g. mum, but rather, letting your anger dissipate gradually.

Finally, let not the sun set on an argument. Do what you have to do today. Bury all hatchets for tomorrow, we look for a new horizon together.