7-7-7

A friend of mine just ended things with his girl of 7 months.

Reason being that he couldn’t take her extreme mood swings. He was continually giving and sacrificing of himself, but didn’t feel that she appreciated him at all. I’m sympathetic of course, but sorry guys, this happens all the time. You need to persevere more ya? Anyway, I decided to compile a non-exhaustive list of 7 do and don’ts for babes and dudes.

To the ladies:

1. As a guy, we can only tolerate so much. We are human, after all, no matter how much we love you. It’s okay to test our limits once in a while, but if we crack, it’s a lose-lose situation, why do such a thing?

2. I reiterate. A relationship works 2 ways. Don’t do unto others what you wouldn’t want them to do to you.

3. We don’t suffer from PMS so we don’t know. But fair enough, as benefit of the doubt, we’ll ensure your nonsense but don’t push it.

4. Be realistic. You don’t have till 45 to look for a man. But the man has 45 to look for someone else. Don’t beg, but be smart, especially if you like him and want to keep him.

5. Contain your bitchiness. TRY at the very least. You don’t really know how much we contain our impatience for your sake. It stings to care so much for her, and she bites the hand that feeds.

6. Don’t underestimate your man. Feminism maybe all hoo-ha and all that, but research has shown that men still have the upper hand in society. Not many lady presidents around huh? History repeats itself.

7. Don’t violate nature. Know your place. The woman is the “weaker vessel”, as proved by the Bible. Support your man, though admonish if necessary.

On the other hand, advice for the man:

1. She does, after all, have PMS. You don’t. Even though it’s used as an excuse a lot of the times, just bear with the whining etc. and continue to love her, it’s worth it (most of the time).

2. Being the man, you are expected to be patient with her. If you lose your temper, it’s also a lose-lose situation, why do such a thing?

3. Don’t attempt to hug, kiss, fuck and make-up. We’re not in the movies. Life is a lot longer than 2 hours. Try to work things out when you’re feeling better and she’s past her agitated stage. If you are both rational and level-headed, it shouldn’t be a worry.

4. Even though you have the advantage in society and you don’t have a shelf life, ladies you are attracted to don’t fall by your path everyday. Treasure her. I repeat, TREASURE her. Quitting is never an option. Be a soldier and fight for what you want. Unless you want to get rid of her, then you’re an asshole. Screw you, you don’t deserve anyone.

5. NO physical contact. Don’t beat her. This is requisite. Your hands are meant for extolling her beauty. It’s so obvious, but men are animalistic creatures at times, especially when pride is at stake. Learn to be humble.

6. Don’t underestimate your girl. NEVER do that. They’re a lot smarter/wily than you think. That said, don’t be paranoid. It’s very annoying.

7. You are the “stronger vessel”. This does not mean abuse her physically, but rather lead the way, protect her, and when you are eventually married, be prepared to lay down your life for her. Be strong emotionally and try to understand her especially if she’s in a bad mood. No point 2 weak people. 2 wrongs don’t make a right.

This is my stand of course. Some may feel I’m too biased against either sex. I don’t care. From where I come from, you either step up, or step aside. No wait, be brushed aside. It’s your choice. Don’t be jealous of anyone. If you put in the effort, anything is possible. You wouldn’t believe the calibre of babes some of my contemporaries have dated.