Identity and Difference

This article is especially dedicated to my dear friend L, who is currently confused. I trust this update finds you alive and in good health. It is also for the general Asian girl, who tends to be mostly confused anyway.

I call this the White Male Yellow Chick (WMYC) phenomenon. This can also be used inversely i.e. Yellow Male White Chick (YMWC).

In recent times, I am led to believe that there has been a trend in inter-racial/cultural relationships. Not so much for Asian males, but more so for the Asian chicks. Generally the reasons given are that Asian men can’t speak properly, aren’t romantic, are too shallow, uneducated, have poor emotional intelligence, don’t know how to treat women and so on and so forth. I’ve heard even more bizarre excuses which I probably shouldn’t list. Hence, women, particularly in this generation have taken it upon themselves to look for love abroad. There tends to be a social prestige associated with the clinging on to a white man’s arm (albeit an awfully hairy one), as compared to a short yellow man who speaks singlish (like the girl does at home). As such, the educated women who have experienced overseas life are imbued with the mentality that 97% of Asian men are uncouth, rude and quite stupid. They also fall prey to the stereotypical white male who has lovely blue eyes, buys flowers and writes poems.

And sad to say, the women are pretty much spot on. Asian guys DO suck.

Fast forward 10 years down the track, there aren’t many WMYC around anymore. Lack of precedents? Not really. More like a painful cultural change that ultimately never worked out. What of the white males? Well, after backpacking for a year and half, the white male doesn’t have any money anymore plus its not really white culture to save money anyway. But that’s okay, because he’s happily married to another white chick that you recognise as one of your uni coursemates. And what happens to the yellow chicks? Well, they’ve simply spent too much time trying to fit into white culture and have either failed, or simply been left on the shelf, used and discarded. White males are not stupid. Yellow males are not stupid either. Not when it comes to beauty. Can the beauty of Zhang Ziyi and Gong Li match say Gisele Bunchen or even Paris Hilton? Give me a break. If you Asian girls think you measure up to a white chick, think again! Smaller boobs, smaller asses, shorter legs, frumpy black hair. Enough said. If you think it’s cool to have a white male partner, trust me, they think it’s pretty cool to have an exotic oriental girlfriend. If you think they’re really into you, it helps to remember that both white and yellow males are similarly horny.

It all boils down to identity at the end of the day. Who are you? What makes you you? Like poles attract. Unlike poles must be forced to attract.

You see, most Asian women end up marrying Asian men – who sit in front of the TV all night and don’t want to have sex (the average sex session for an Asian couple lasts 17 minutes as compared to a white couples’ 23 minutes). Why? Again, I reiterate. Culture. Remember the times where you couldn’t say “lah” and “wah lao” and “aiyah”? Instead you had to say “Jesus Christ” and “fuck”? Remember the times you had to alter your accent so that he could understand you? And then back in your home country, everyone understood you perfectly even though your English was rather incoherent? How long can you “act” white? How long can you maintain your oh-so-cultured front? Have you ever wondered why you are the one that must change to suit him? Why not the other way?

I often say that the only thing that binds white and yellow is the fact that they have both either been rejected by their own race, or they think they’re just way too high and mighty. Either way, it should rank on most people’s list – to have a cross-culture relationship. Just for experience sake. I’ve had 2 so far, one with an Australian and another with a Romanian (Japanese are classified as Asians). The 2 chicks were definitely loads of fun, in fake sort of ways, but commitment remained largely taboo.

Why do parents resist racial difference? I’m not so sure as each will have their reasons – pride, family surnames and a host of other nonsensical reasons. I would object because fundamentally, white and yellow don’t mix. Look at the Australian born Chinese hanging out with each other, rather than the other white kids, and it becomes amazingly apparent.

Birds of a feather flock together. Period. Of course, there are those who will be convinced that you are the exception, that you can make it work. Sure, I would recommend you try. It’s good to test your emotional pain threshold once in a while. But let’s just see how long you can fake it. Because if I were you, I would spend my shelf life looking for a realistic partner, rather than a pseudo-romantic white man who only wants you for 23 minutes.

Oh, and tell me when you get an Asian husband.