Australia vs Japan (120606 . 2230hrs)

The World Cup is upon us! The biggest sporting event in the world! Bigger than the Olympics and bigger than the Champions League.



Today Australia faces Japan in what will prove (I hope) to be a cracker of a match. No points for guessing who I’m rooting for. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I hate Australia, and it’s not that I’m not grateful to Melbourne for my education and my friends. It’s just that when it comes to sport, Australia pisses me off. When victorious, they claim all the glory. When they go down, they blame the opposition, the field, the referee but never themselves. Oh the pride, the arrogance, the conceit, the haughtiness and I could go on and on. What’s worse is that they condone such behaviour. They promote it. They say its passion, its zeal, its fervour, its ardour. I say its complete bullshit. Soccer is a gentleman’s game - almost a non-contact sport. People worldwide come to see

the elegance of Figo,
the creativity of Zidane,
the coolness of Henry,
the power of Van Nistelrooy,
the trickery of Ronaldinho,
the enthusiasm of Messi,
the skill of Beckham,
the speed of Robben,
the flair of Totti,
the heart of Drogba…

We come to see Joga Bonito, the art of playing sexy football.

Not a bunch of thugs sliding around the pitch with the sole intention of injuring others when they realised they’ve lost the game. Australia should continue with the barbaric sports they’re so good at. Rugby, Australian Rules Football and God knows what.

Leave our beautiful game alone. Shoo!