Today is officially my second last day of work. But since I’m on leave tomorrow, I don’t have to go back. Looking at the building where I spent the last one and half years, I can’t help but feel a tinge of sorrow. It’s not so much the work, or the people, or anything else for that matter but the sense of having-to-do-something everyday. I will miss waking up early in the morning, taking the bus and seeing those familiar faces. I will miss mum’s Milo in the morning and dad hollering at me to hurry up.
I guess just like everyone else, I love my comfort zone. I don’t love Singapore, but I love the feeling of being inside it. Of being protected by a secure government surrounded by the most amazing friends and family. Peeling myself away from the people and lifestyle here is so hard, but I realize that’s what I have to do. I have no choice.
I have to look forward now towards the future. Nothing should be done in regret. On the contrary, life is short. There is no “ideal” time to strike. If you wait and wait and wait for the appropriate time, it will never happen. Army taught me that.
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I delivered a bunch of sunflowers to her house this morning for her birthday. On second thoughts, I’m not exactly sure if that was the best thing to do. But what is done cannot be undone.
She is special, I have to admit. I’ve not felt like that for eons. And while I say that time should not constrain the way we act, I can’t help but feel I’m pushing it a bit too much and rushing for a conclusion. And I don’t like that. It’s not me to do such a thing. I want things to go smoothly, not quickly.
Above all, I need her to understand that I am not joking. I know I don’t have the best history around, but there’s always time for a new start. And I’m willing. You fucking bet I am.
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1 comment:
"che gelinda manina" - your little hand is so cold. awwww how romantic. where did you learn that? All the best with the girl :p hehe
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