Jem, this is for you regarding your job woes. And for any of you who can’t find a vacation job. I was thinking of a job ya’ll would surely get. Not a chance of rejection, plus you have them rich dicks slobbering at your feet. Know what? Be a SECURITY GUARD. Yeah, the job with the most prestigious prospectus. If you were an illegal worker applying for a Singaporean citizenship, just tell them you want to be a security guard. No worries, you’d be hollering Majulah Singapura in no time.
Alright, 10 reasons to be a security guard in Singapore:
1. Like I said, the best job prospects around town. Moreover, being "young and strong" would give you a huge edge over old wrinkly uncles.
2. Condominiums are high density living, implying there are a great many residents. What this means is that there will be lots and lots of eye candy floating around. In no time, you’ll know all of them. Cast your net far and wide, get what I mean.
3. You’re young, strong and in uniform. Get that, in uniform!! (albeit less glamorous than the Navy, Air Force etc) But if postmen get attention, why shouldn’t you?
4. If you’re well educated, you’ll have a good chance with the girls. (Provided they believe you’re really a graduate)
5. Little boys point at you and go “Mummy, I want to be just like him”. And get gobsmacked.
6. If you’re working in a really posh condominium like Nassim Jade, you get to check out the swanky cars and sexy celebrities.
7. Not forgetting, you get to refuse them entry into their condo too unless they tip you. If not they could be PUNK'D by you.
8. You get to be nocturnal. If you’re an illegal immigrant anyway, it helps to lie low by day and earn money by night.
9. Mocking those dumb graduates with Master degrees but can’t find jobs is pretty satisfying.
10. It’s basically a no-brainer since we have (or like to believe we have) an efficient police force. If there’s any trouble, just call 999. They’ll come around faster than you can whip out your baton.
So there you go. Be a security guard. Hell yeah! Anyone? Jem????
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2 comments:
bro, you kick ass lah. nice information there! if i lose my job (that's if i do) i will be a security guard
sial lah bang. This kinda life can really relak one korner, and can maintain balan no problem. Who don't like? But alamak, pay very little.. only can eat nasi lemak.
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