Decided to be a good boy and stay at home tonight. Mei’s got tuition and no one else is at home. I wouldn’t dare trust the guy and her home alone. You know me. I rushed home after class. Thank God, all was in order. Worst case scenarios have a knack of playing with your brain once in a while.

Last night, D and I decided to go for dinner after class. Burger King. I was craving for the Swiss mushroom whopper. As it turns out, it’s not a bad burger, but defo not worth $7.45. Now that’s a bloody ripoff. Meanwhile, we chat about how possessive a man should be over his girl. It’s a bit more sensitive since D seems to be a victim. We conclude that breathing space for both parties is requisite. For example, letting your girl hang out with her girl friends at a club is perfectly fine. Please don’t tag along for fear that your girl will be picked up.

1. You’d be incredibly out of place especially if you don’t know her friends. Your girl will then be compelled to make you feel comfortable and that is a nuisance to her I’m sure.

2. If your girl gets picked up, well, good for you. At least, it confirms she’s hot.

3. You’re tempting yourself into chatting up one of her own friends. Tut tut. In front of her too.

4. It shows you don’t really trust your girl and smacks a lack of confidence/security in your relationship and in yourself.

Personally, I’ve never been the possessive sort. I care about someone more than saying good morning-have a good day-what did you have your lunch/dinner-sweet dreams everyday. I don’t need to be in physical contact to remind myself of her. She is always in my mind. Whether she sees or not, what I do is for her own good. (ok I try, sometimes erringly). I reckon girls should enjoy a certain degree of breathing space. A possessive man can be a nut at times. Everyone needs personal time for reflection, self-improvement and so on.

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Then we chance upon the topic of pick up lines and how some lame twerps have hit on D. By the way, D’s kind of mixed blood. Imo, she’s pretty hot, boobs and all. That’s secondary of course. It’s not surprising the number of men who have fallen by the wayside than. So up goes the challenge, we’ll both try pick up members of the opposite sex by using our pick up lines.

City Hall MRT 11.30pm

D pretends to brush past this guy. And beat this, her wrist brushes past his crotch and she lets out a little exclamation to catch his attention. A bit bloody obvious I reckon. This is outright unethical, if I were to do that, the whole MRT would have gang-stampeded the life out of me. Needless to say, she gets to talk to the guy and she comes back with a smug look. Knnccb!

Obviously I’m faced with a tall order. I can’t brush past boobs can I?

After some crick crack of knuckles and neck, I move in. A middle aged woman, power suit, heels, dyed hair. She’s pretty in her own way I guess. I decide to try something really stupid. I ask her for the time, and then I walk away, back to where D is standing. The whole ordeal takes less than 10 seconds. But I make sure I stand at a position where she can see that I evidently have a watch and that the whole point of the pick up phrase was her and not the time. D is teasing me like nobody’s business, but I make sure I make eye contact with the woman, as if trying to tell her I’m more attracted to her than to D. It’s all about making a woman feel beautiful. After a few smiles in both directions, magic happens.

She walks over. We start talking.

You know, sometimes dumb pick up lines aren’t a way to judge a person. Maybe he’s just nervous, or he couldn’t come up with anything better. Don’t write him/her off, just yet. You could always do so after 3 minutes, but everyone deserves a fair go. It also goes to show that asking for the time isn’t necessarily a bad pick up line. People need to think conceptually and paradigm shift. Only then can you eliminate fallacies and enter dissimilar, unexplored zones.