Love is a many splendoured thing - a response to titin's testimonial

“Titin,
localDatewithTimezone("Apr 11, 2005 10:08 PM","time2tag1");
Tuesday, April 12, 2005:
Hahaha....my turn to scribble on his testi's board....hmm....nice, funny weirdo....thats all i can remember abt him.....1 min can joke nonsense with him, the next min, he will give u that serious face of him when he demands ur attention..... till today, i still couldn’t figure why u like her..... the girl who stayed above u....or was it 1 level below u?? :P glad its all over though i miss those times we spent over at college square..... :)”

My latest testimonial from Titin (thanks btw!!! :))

Well, to be honest, I don’t know why I liked her as well. But some things are best left unknown. I mean, its really hard to think about such things. Love is a many splendored thing, and it doesn’t make sense a lot of the times. For example, why would Leo Di Caprio dump Giselle Bunchen? I mean, he’s got DA BOMB, isn’t?? No wait, why would SHE love a dick like him? Get my point, love makes people do incredible things. Take for example Jesus, He died for OUR sins and yet we are the ones who killed him by our sins. Would you die for someone who just backstabbed you? Its unreal, that’s why God’s love is the ultimate love. Human love is tainted by sin, it is never pure. Never ever. Humans are selfish beings and put their interests first before others. Though occasionally, humans do good things too.

Back to the topic, after we split some nearly 2 years ago, I thought about that question too. Firstly, she was older than I, as in much older. Secondly, she wasn’t the most gorgeous person around. Thirdly, she wasn’t particularly smart, rich, famous or had big connections that could profit me or anything. She was just a normal human being, BUT spectacular in my opinion.

There are so many things that led me to believe I was wrong to like her. But at the end of the day, she was someone I could talk to and share my feelings with. She was somebody who would be a companion, my companion. Somebody I could hang out with, somebody I could be myself, I could tell my lame jokes and she’d laugh. Somebody who would pick me up when I was down, help me regardless whether I needed it or not. It doesn’t take a genius or Giselle Bunchen to do that isn’t?

The Maslow’s Theory of Human Needs states that there are 5 stages towards life:

1. Physiology (food, water, sleep) at the bottom
2. Safety (clothing, safe environment)
3. Affection (love and a sense of belonging, recognition by peers)
4. Esteem (sense of self worth and usefulness)
5. Self Actualization (doing what you REALLY want to do)

She helped me achieve up to stage 4. That means she was also good for my mental health and at the same time fulfilling nearly all my basic human needs.

The more we came into contact, the more beautiful she became. Her smile was enough to sooth a bad day away. I never thought of her much as a super chio bu before we started dating to be honest. Just like a song, she grew on me during the 1/1/2 years we were together. She made me stronger, more sensitive and more godly and for that I can only say thank you to her. We split NOT because of distance (as everyone is prone to believe). There were other reasons, of which I cannot ever, ever disclose.

Relationships mould a person. Just like in Romans 5, when Paul says that trials produce characteristics like perseverance etc. That doesn’t mean you should all jump into relationships blindly (though in my ignorance, I did).

I’ve always felt that I like girls who are able to take a risk - girls who don’t think so much about whether I’m going to have their 4 children or not. Although we should take relationships seriously and have marriage as the ultimate goal, I still prefer to take things one at a time.

Let’s take risks, let’s move slowly. When I like somebody, it doesn’t mean she’s the perfect, finished article and has nothing to improve on. It means that she’s someone whom I feel has the potential to share my life with and as time progresses, I will love her more and more. If I take the risk to enter a relationship, why shouldn’t she? No risk = No gain. I’ve been fortunate to have open-minded girls in my life who’ve kept a close contact with me even after we’ve split up. I’m cool with that. We can go out for a coffee, yak about the good times without bitterness or tears. Now, that’s cool. Breakups where you completely don’t talk to each other is just SO NOT ON.

Girls (some) are better than guys in that they don’t only choose with their eyes. Because I’m rather ugly and orgish looking, I’m comforted when girls tell me that a guy is cute, but they prefer someone else because he doesn’t look as if he the types who’d care about her. So guys who are so incredibly despo, don’t worry. Is there any rulebook that says you must be attached by 21? Be sincere, be yourself and you’ll be the one getting the babes. Doesn’t matter if you get one at 26 or 36, because she WILL BE the one, someone who accepts you for who you are. Girls don’t like bastards, its common sense.

So tin, wish you all the best in your relationship. Its nice to see you settled down. Plus you both look sweet together anyway. One thing I don’t understand, you said you’re “glad that’s its all over”. Hmmmmmmmph.. what’s that suppose to mean?? Hahaha…