to where it all begins...

Work at Smiling. Smiling at Work.

2011-06-07T22:43:00.003+08:00

“Life is like a mirror, we get the best results when we smile at it”.

I must admit I’m entering the stage of my life where I’m constantly questioning myself. Am I good enough? Am I happy with where I am? Am I happy with what I do? Do I enjoy the company around me? How can I get more out of life?

You see, everyone is on a one way, fast track path to glory. Yes, we were taught from young, that if we worked hard, put in the hard yards and persevered, we would all enjoy life’s glorious paths as well as a big pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. But in a company of 500, isn’t there only 1 CEO? All around me, I see old people, jaded, weary, and full of complaints, with nothing to look forward to. They plug away, working their asses off for that imaginary promotion. Guess what? There is no pot of gold, sorry, only hungry mouths to feed. And so back to the grinding wheel they go, day after day, year after year. Dogged determination or plain stupidity? Hardy and determined, or just scared what the unknown may herald? I’ll leave it to you to decide.

The building up of human relationships far outweighs one’s duties at work, simply because no man is a rock. Human beings were created for contact. After all, God created Eve to company Adam. It wasn’t for the sex mind you (though that was a bonus). Personally, I’m of the opinion that that the daily, never ending possibility of building up a solid human relationship makes life unpredictable and interesting. Goodness overflows when relationships are enforced and strengthened. Conversely, all the good work can be undone by a little lie here and there, and the occasional disappointment. Obviously, the unintentional breaking down of relationships could be caused by illness or other unavoidable circumstances. It is nevertheless, a break down.

In the past few weeks, I’ve seen so much - so many things to frighten me for the rest of my life. Perhaps I’ve been pampered to such an extent, that none of these have ever hit so close to home. Emotions and expressions contorted by anguish and agony, and pleading words I will never forget. There were few smiles, and even if any, the slight twitching of the face, accompanied by tired eyes. Courtesy smiles. This made me think. We work so hard, day in day out with ceaseless intensity, until we are experts in our own little fields. But when faced by the issue of the breaking down of human relationships, we ourselves break down? Does understanding how the Dow Jones trends really matter when your body ceases to take in oxygen? Last week, I learnt that intense, unexpected suffering passes more quickly than suffering that is apparently bearable. The latter drags for years and nibbles away at our countenance until one day, we are no longer able to free ourselves from the bitterness of our hearts and it becomes a part of us.

Life is not a carebear on a rainbow. Human relationships are things that need work on. They do not flourish by themselves. How many people have you been “close to in the past”? Without consistent effort and consideration, you can build up all the relationships you want and still be lonely. Then your life is dull and worthless. But consume yourself with the right kind of love, and I promise you that the radiance that pervades your inner being will permeate your surroundings. Mundane client meetings and irritating people will become merely events to be informed, not emotionally involved.

When you really want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it, that’s why my glass is not half full. It is overflowing.

Pb, I was neither tired nor disillusioned when I wrote to you yesterday. What I said still stands. Today however, I learnt that I’d much rather be tired at you, than have to pretend to smile. Because when that happens, the smile that eventually cracks is genuine.

Weekend Magic

2009-05-09T15:42:00.003+08:00

Due to a static week at work, I couldn’t quite find the time and energy to shop for a mother’s day gift, so the moment the weekend arrived; I was out and ready to spend.

My mum has everything she wants, perfumes, pots, woks, pans, recipe books, furniture, vases, dining utensils, clothes, good kids, and now, even grandkid. So finding the perfect gift is usually brain-draining. SM suggested flowers (too practical I replied), but on hindsight when someone has everything practical, what they do need is some impracticality. Expensive impracticality. So I concluded that I should get her chocolates. Expensive chocolates.

Every weekend around Singapore, you would notice school kids raising funds for the needy and disabled. Mostly, they would grab their flag tins and sit around and chat for a bit, then go shopping and so on. It is but an excuse to meet up on the weekends. Such is charity in Singapore, a forced front, a point system needed to graduate from college.

At the junction of Orchard Road where pedestrian traffic comes to standstill, I noticed an RJC girl carrying her tin and asking for donations. I did a terrible thing – which was to avoid making eye contact. Worse still, I think she saw me do it. She took a couple of steps in my direction, then she paused and turned away, and then she came closer again. Why wasn’t she just approaching me for a donation?

15, 14, 13... went the traffic lights in the opposite direction.

10 seconds left. Phew! Come on! I edged forward into the crowd.

Excusemesir,wouldyouliketodonatetotheelderlyTheyarelocatedatToaPayohandsomeofthemonlyhaveonemealadayand...

Yes, I know. I donated to one of your schoolmates down at Shaw.

Oh okay. She starts to walk away, disappointed.

No wait, can you come back please.

There were so many things running through my mind. Foremost were her sincerity and heart for the needy. It would have been so much easier for her to ignore me, especially since I was avoiding her. What impressed me was that despite being obviously reticent initially, she plucked up her nerve, did the right thing, and asked. And behind the nervous regurgitation of information, her honesty and integrity reminded me of my younger sister in all her wide-eyed earnestness – holistic intentions but somehow lacking courage. And yet there was I counting down in my head. Even with the traffic lights working hard against her, she must have been under pressure, but she did it. And I was stirred to believe in the beauty of flawed humanity once again.

It would have been creepy of me to tell her what I was thinking, and she might have flipped if I said I saw my younger sister in her.

Well I don’t have small change, so I’ll have to give you notes.

Someone once told me that life is a join-the-dot journey of a “collection of magical moments”, and this was decidedly one of them.

As I looked back, I saw her give me a wave and wide smile. I winked back at her, only hoping I made her day as she did, mine.

He's just not that into you (her)

2009-05-03T17:59:00.005+08:00

Celine did it as we agreed upon
She took forever though! hahaha...
Let's see if you agree with the render girl

He's just not that into you

He's just not that into you.

2009-03-24T14:11:00.003+08:00

A witty show with a star-studded cast. Celine is supposed to reflect her thoughts on this show too, but I’ve taken ages to script this. Observe the effort it takes to write a post, so don’t ask me to keep updating. Here are 15 lessons I felt the show brought up, interspersed with personal opinions (because I know better).

1. You can never cheat and get away with it – you will end up losing both your wife and the pretty mistress

I suspect the ladies would probably rejoice at this with typical “serves you right, you bastard” panache. According to Scarlett Johansson’s character, marriage to one’s partner does not mean you have married the right one. Question is: Do you try to work things out or look for “the one”? I have a friend who divorced her fiancé after sending out the wedding invites. She married someone else and shocked all of us. Despite the tongue and finger wagging, I’m sure she was the subject of much envy from those suffering in their marriages. So do we stick by traditional morals and live unhappily ever after?

2. They say that there is no such thing as a “spark” – it is an excuse a guy makes up to tell a girl he’s not interested

Ironically, I have used this statement rather often (not withstanding it was roundabout Valentine’s Day) and found it somewhat true. But you see, sparks don’t exist inherently, you have to make them happen. You need to rub two stones together, create friction, communicate and interact. It takes two to tango, and I can only presume that if both cannot be bothered to create the spark, there will be no spark.

3. Love will find a way

Such a cliché but there’s a reason why such clichés exist. The boundaries between Hollywood love and real-live love are being blurred, thanks to all these movies. Hooray, now we all stand a chance.

4. Indifference will soon catch up with you

I see a lot of myself in here. I often cannot tell when I genuinely like someone or not, because of the psychoanalysis that’s going on concurrently. I have lost the basics of feelings and emotions to a theoretical, methodical approach. Instead, I pour scorn on those who love with all their hearts simply because the recoil impact tends to be tremendous. My bad.

5. Women are very much more affected than men

Jennifer Aniston in tears is a moving sight (not so Drew Barrymore and Scarlett Johansson I’m afraid). I would suppose there’s nothing new to learn about this statement. However, it’s good to remember that men are affected as well, they just don’t show it. A tearing Ben Affleck would reek of pathetic self-pity. Bad...

6. Men cannot say no to a woman – in this case Scarlett Johansson

Women refuse to admit it but if you’re decent looking and you chase after a man, he’s not going to say no unless he 1. Is gay, 2. Is indifferent or 3. Thinks you are drop-dead fugly. However, don’t be surprised if you are underappreciated. It’s best not to chase after men, rather, drop obvious hints and then let men do their own thing even though it may take a while.

7. It is smarter for guys to just keep quiet sometimes

Uh... If she asks you for a commitment and you say no, she’ll cry. If you say yes, you’d better mean it. If you say nothing at all, she’ll still cry, but at least your conscience is clear (and you’ve remained uncommitted – as per status quo). This is the only time where silence doesn’t give consent. Strange how we bend the rules huh? This leads me to the next rather obvious point.

8. If you really want to break up, you should just say “yes let’s do it” not “let’s try and work over this” without having the intention to do so

So obvious, yet so hard to put into practice. Because 1. She’s crying and pleading and it’s heart-wrenching 2. She still looks cute when she’s crying 3. You can be sure the next few weeks will be great – nice dinners, less arguments and mind-blowing err... interaction. You should also do it because it frees you and allows to look elsewhere rather than at a crying heap.

9. When a girl takes a “break” from the relationship, its bad news but when a guy takes a “break” from the relationship, it’s good news

Ladies don’t want to end a relationship until they’ve found another one, so they leave men dangling by that thread. Strange how men never realise they are a backup plan – perfectly executed by Scarlett Johansson in the show. Men do exactly the same thing. However, if he’s really quite serious about the whole thing, he’ll try to get through life without her, realise he can’t, then mysteriously reappear as a dishwasher. Alternatively, he’ll use his wife as a backup plan, take an extended break from his marriage, but this will lead to lesson number 1. Hmmm... I am admittedly undecided on this one.

10. Don’t pressure a guy to marry you, he’ll do it when he’s ready

Jennifer Aniston got it right – reverse psychology. I can’t say it’s foolproof but men are sadly a little bit more stupid. You just need to give them time. Women need to understand that commitment is a massive issue for men because 1. His market value would plummet 2. He can’t babewatch in the open like he used to 3. He can’t say he’s single with a clear conscience.

11. Marriage is not sacred in Hollywood – It should be in reality

You have to be retarded if you don’t already know this.

12. Girls are still attracted to the bad guys

I read a thesis on this topic written by a professor in America. He claims it is not the badness that attracts them but 1. They see a potential for change 2. They love a challenge 3. They want what they can’t have because he’s constantly comparing her to Jessica Alba and telling her she’s just not good enough. I tend to believe that women love the occasional cry preceding a heartbreak – gives them more ammunition to bitch about. In reality they are crying because they didn’t manage to change the man, and this batters their ego.

13. If he’s just not that into you, he’s really not that into you

And the signs will be crystal clear, because men are terrible at small talk. They will make polite conversation, be gentlemanly and even pay for the meal. However, their thoughts will be distracted and they will constantly scour the room for other women. If you really want to know how much a man is into you, observe his eye contact throughout the date. He will refrain from looking at an attractive woman to let you know how special he thinks you are. Here’s a big hint for the men on how to “appear interested”. Don’t say I don’t share my secrets.

14. A smooth talker isn’t so smooth when he really likes someone

How true this is! Displayed perfectly by Justin Long, who stumbles and mumbles his way into love. I’d like to think I’m pretty smooth with the ladies, but when it comes to someone I’m fond of, I just can’t string a sentence together! And yes, it frustrates the living hell out of me! However, I don’t know many women who have had this effect on me. Makes them so special isn’t? If only they knew... Life’s a bitch.

15. Internet dating works as a point of contact, but you need to make it happen

Drew Barrymore finds herself the victim of numerous cheating internet partners. Simply put, if something is more difficult to execute, the rewards are generally greater. Internet dating is easy peasy as shit, therefore you cannot expect much exclusivity. You should not fall into depression because she rejected your offer of a date through facebook/sms/email. You should however, if you asked her face to face, because that would mean you’re really not up to it. Living in a techno-savvy age only makes us hunger for more human interaction, so after facebook-stalking each other for 2 months, pick up the phone and let her hear your voice.

torn

2009-02-05T10:59:00.001+08:00

I’ve changed.

I’m turning into the corporate slut the stifling Singapore working environment forces you to become. I talk about work all the time. I no longer ask others “How are you?” rather “How’s work?” It infuriates me, but increasingly I’m becoming one of them, sucked into the spiral of unending toil.

I talk about work, but I hate it when others ask me about work. I hate it when the first thing I come home, someone asks “How’s work?” because they don’t understand that’s the last bloody thing I want to talk about. Work. I don’t get adequate quality sleep anymore, and I don’t get to hang out aimlessly in Degraves sipping coffee. I don’t have meaningful conversations at home any longer because the subject is always centred on what projects I’m working on or who I’m seeing at the moment.

Speaking of which, some of you might have been led to believe I’m going to be S E R I O U S in 2009. In truth, that statement was made in the light of a spate of weddings. It’s hard to stomach a past flame married and with a kid, no wait, a couple of kids. It’s even harder to swallow the pride, trust me. Hence, that position statement was born in a fit of jealously.

But no no, after some good, albeit rueful thinking, there is little that indicates anything S E R I O U S is going to happen. I’m not prepared to sacrifice or accommodate now. That’s not to slam any windows shut, no, I think you all know me better.

They say that the workplace should not become a playground for relationships. I concur wholeheartedly. One of my colleagues stays up late with this girl I can only imagine he fancies, helping her and encouraging her. All I say is I D I O T, get a life, you’re just a tool! Somehow you’re always able to sense who fancies you (whom you can take advantage of) and who doesn’t. And to me, that power negates the need for anything serious. Most people tell me “oh, you just haven’t met the one who truly love”. That’s bullshit – akin to praying 24/7 and not studying, yet expecting to do well for an exam.

I’ve met several interesting individuals and we might or might not take it from there. I’ll leave it as that. In any case, God first, career second, girl later – no money, no honey.

I’ve changed.

I love being a corporate slut because it takes me to where home is. It enables me blend in seamlessly with the rest of the workforce. I gain great self-satisfaction from swaggering around with my suitcase. When my friends talk about work, I don’t have to say “oh I’m still studying” and be ashamed of being a noob-ish mature aged student. Instead, I whip out a name card and hear the ooohs and aaahs. I’m able to afford clothes, but more importantly, I have an E X C U S E to buy clothes.

I don’t get much sleep, but frankly speaking, who needs sleep anyway? Given sufficient ventilation and good music, I could work till midnight everyday and claim for time off. I don’t speak much with my family, but I still get the weekends with them (if I’m not at work). I suppose given the current economic situations, it’s much better to have a job than not to have one. I love it that we have prayer meetings every Thursday during lunch. We sing hymns, have a short time of devotion and then pray. They speak in tongues but I don’t. Nevertheless, it’s encouraging to see God working within our practice.

The workplace is crammed with eye candy – edible eye candy. Ubiquitous relationship opportunities. They are all in power suits and capable of intellectual conversation – a definite turn on as far as I’m concerned. 99.999% of them are attached I think, but I’ll keep my resolution to not dissolve a relationship. For as long as possible. I’m a changed man. I’ll bide my time and wait for God to provide the right one. I know that sooner or later, she’ll waltz past me and blow me a couple of kisses and we’ll both be on cloud nine.

Seeing babes all around makes work so pleasant. Where else in the world can you de-stress within a ten metre radius?

I’ve met several interesting individuals and we might or might not take it from there. I’ll leave it as that. In any case, God first, get the girl second, impress her by being a high-flyer – no money, but at least there’s potential.

S C H I Z O P H R E N I C . . . hmmm, who shall I be today?

A Starbuck Lesson

2008-05-31T13:15:00.002+08:00

“Oh shit, I have to finish 3 essays by tonight”
“Aiya okay, I’m here to encourage you mah”
“I really need to get a H2A average this semester so I can do honours next year”
“Don’t worry, sure can one lah”

His version of encouragement is yakking to the poor girl who just desperately wants to get her work done. Turns out that they’re from OCF and they’ve just met last night. Talking about chicken rice and chomp chomp doesn’t really sound like encouragement to me anyway, neither does talking about Madonna and her expiry date. From what I gather, he doesn’t have any exams but he’s just wasted 1hour (out of 24 hours = 4.2% of the day) of her time talking about stuff that no one really gives a shit about. No only that, he started singing and people around were sniggering to themselves probably thinking “dumb Christian gay boy” – very stereotypical not exactly the best testimony.

The point I’m trying to get across is that as Christian brothers and sisters, we need to think about HOW we encourage each other. We need to bear in mind context, given stress levels at this time and consider how it affects the person you’re trying to encourage, rather than how you yourself can benefit from it.

Sometimes, actually most of the time, people (especially OCF girls) are way too nice to say “STFU I just want to do my work”. Therefore as the “encourager”, you need to be sensitive enough isn’t? I think she would appreciate an sms or a short phone call, than pointless, half-hearted conversation. Surely that will more than suffice, rather than trying to get in her pants during exam time. Seriously, how low will some people go?

Anyway, enough rants. Christians can be so unlovable at times.

Are girls the most beautiful of God's creation?

2008-05-05T12:38:00.009+08:00

There is no doubt in my mind that they are. All girls deserve to be treated with respect and well taken care of. Even though I'm terribly picky when it comes to girls I still think their all very gorgeous in their own kind of way. I know it sounds funny (sarcastic almost) to hear it coming from me, but I just wanted to make a statement.

J came down to Melbourne for a surprise visit which was awesome (except that we bumped into too far many people). I told her that I still don't think I'm ready for anything long term, and I'd rather not have her do that. She sniffled quite a bit and I felt very, very bad. I'm just thinking about my new year's resolution to be more committed. I was talking to Waimay for a bit and she found it quite incredulous that I needed at least 10 more years to make any lifetime commitment whatsoever. I'm beginning to think I'm not so invincible anymore. This sucks...

On a brighter note, Senator Barack Obama declared on the 21st of March that he would have been an architect had the presidency not called to him.

You better believe it...

Easter

2008-03-23T12:07:00.001+08:00

See, what a morning, gloriously bright,
With the dawning of hope in Jerusalem;
Folded the grave-clothes, tomb filled with light,
As the angels announce, "Christ is risen!"
See God's salvation plan,
Wrought in love, borne in pain, paid in sacrifice,
Fulfilled in Christ, the Man,
For He lives: Christ is risen from the dead!

See Mary weeping, "Where is He laid?"
As in sorrow she turns from the empty tomb;
Hears a voice speaking, calling her name;
It's the Master, the Lord raised to life again!
The voice that spans the years,
Speaking life, stirring hope, bringing peace to us,
Will sound till He appears,
For He lives: Christ is risen from the dead!

It dawned upon me, especially after Andrew Reid’s brilliant sermon today that:

Jesus, in very nature God, was born into this sinful earth for me.
Jesus bore the pain of living amongst sin for me.
Jesus was betrayed by his disciples for me.
Jesus was scorned, spat on and flagellated for me.
Jesus laboured up the hill, carrying the cross for me.
Jesus cried and bled, oh not from the pain, but for me.

As for me, what did I do?

I stood at the top of the hill, waited for Jesus to crawl to me. Then along with my friends, I spat on him, cursed him and with bone-splintering force, smashed the nails into his wrist, laughing and mocking all the time. As Jesus hung there, bloody and beaten, he looked at us and said “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they’re doing.”

My dear friends, yes, you were with me destroying Jesus. He died for me, just like He died for you. How long more will you harden your hearts? You see, that’s not the end of the story, but rather the beginning of a glorious chapter for those who accept Jesus. He rose again, the slain yet victorious lamb – the only creature in this universe capable for opening the scroll of God.

I urge you, this Easter to commit your lives to your Creator and forever etch your names in the Book of Life.

2008-03-12T19:47:00.002+08:00

I posted a meagre 15 times in 2007. That’s pretty amazing because I’m not a very “silent” sort of person.

edit: deleted by author

Not a good mood after missing Sunday’s 2 o’clock service and Bible Study last night. :(

Do Singaporean Women expect too much?

2008-02-26T12:26:00.000+08:00

Looking at Sunday’s headlines, I can’t quite help stifling a snigger. This isn’t the first time it has been mentioned mind you – the clichéd stereotypes no doubt penned by a frustrated Singaporean male, with a severely bruised ego. Yes, Valentine’s Day was just around the corner. Possibly the poor guy got bitch-slapped or emasculated. He describes the typical Singaporean woman as demanding, high maintenance, overly well-educated, sharp-tongued, oppressive and so on. Well in that case, having been in past relationships with a few, I must be doing pretty well myself. Yes, I’m the mama’s boy that flirts like nobody’s business.

Apparently, Singaporean women expect their male counterparts to:

1. Pay on dates
2. Open doors for them
3. Send them home after a date
4. Initiate celebrations (after remembering dates) on special occasions
5. Dress up for special occasions, and
6. Carry their handbag

If you’re 20 and above, straight, male and reading this and you haven’t done ANY of these, can I suggest you simply kill yourself by flushing yourself down the toilet bowl or jumping off a 40 storey building (Singapore is WELL equipped).

So what does the future hold for you if you come to me and say “Jon, all these 6 things, I’ve done since young.”? Well, that’s good for you, you’ll quite likely end up with a girl. Yes, heard of Singaporean men purchasing wives from Vietnam, China etc.? But it’s still rather improbable that you’ll land a Singaporean woman. Let me explain why.

The six criteria that you see are basic, fundamental pointers as to how men should treat women. This is mere courtesy, indispensable and requisite. You can’t bring a woman out without at least doing one of them. And I’ll go on to add that (to a certain extent), you should treat ALL women like that. Of course not the paying bits and dressing up (errr…). Singaporean women are a different breed altogether, especially the high brow ones who think they’re tai tais. They’re well educated, affluent and consequently sexy. What’s worse (personally I think, better) is that they KNOW it. Moreover, due to the wonderful effects of globalisation, Singaporean men are now having to compete with men from all over the world (Americans, Australians and other ang mohs). Rather than standing up to the challenge, Singaporean men falter and wilt. They say cannot lah, he so tall, so handsome, down there also damn tua (big), how to fight? Then they start to have embarrassing affairs with their helpless and hapless maids. Therefore, to help populate our small nation with authentic Singaporeans, we must ask ourselves what makes ang moh men more attractive?

Genetically, Asian men don’t have much hope as far as height, hairiness, and length of rifle is concerned. Notice I use we from now on instead of “Singaporean men.” We don’t even have deep set eyes, sharp noses or blond hair. But what we do have is a sense of identity and of common upbringing. We are able to understand each other, culturally and even historically. We share similar experiences in school and in our interpersonal relationships with the people around us. This, my friends is something intangible that foreigners lack. Ever heard a Singaporean girl with an ang moh guy? You cringe when you hear her trying to imitate his accent. The reason is always I’m speaking like that if not he won’t understand me. And why not vice versa may I ask? The “Singaporeaness” that we all share is sufficient for men and women to form decent (not mind-blowing or anything) relationships. I agree that Singaporean men can be obnoxious at times – they dress like crap, smell like shit, speak like retards and have rubbish manners. And this (which are the 6 criteria for getting ANY woman), YOU MEN WILL HAVE TO WORK ON.

For those of you who have surpassed the 6 criteria (unfortunately this doesn’t include the author of the newspaper article), you have to work on the intangible. What the hell do I mean? It’s all too abstract you say. Yes, it is. But here’s where the fun really starts. Quoting from a classic:

L is for the way you look at me,
O is for the only one I see,
V is very, very extraordinary,
E is even more than anyone that you adore

Do you see the 6 criteria here? Hell no! Singaporean women have surpassed the basic 6 and are now looking for the intangible. These are qualities that are both inherent and further developed through experience and everyday interaction. Common intangible qualities are a good sense of humour, a confident man with a good career path, a kind hearted man and so on. These are actually things that can be worked upon, and run far deeper that the 6 criteria, which all a sudden seems rather shallow now, don’t they? For instance, I practice getting the “look” right in the mirror every morning. I’d say a phrase and then try to look the phrase. It saves you saying something generic like “Oh you look marvellous tonight” which might come across as insincere.

To conclude, ALL girls (not limited to Singaporean) look for something unique in their man. Something that sets him apart from the others, and by this I don’t mean exceptionally rude or exceptionally flatulent. I think most men try too hard, or don’t try at all, and that’s why they fail. Women don’t like doormats, but they don’t take to scrooges too kindly either. Women love bad boys, but you’ve got to know your limit. Men, find a way to titillate them and you’ll even have them paying for your drinks.

And let me know if you want to see the “look”.

2008-01-23T03:11:00.000+08:00

And she smiled at me this morning.... mmmm

:))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

2008-01-18T03:13:00.000+08:00

Okay, I’ve given up writing in detail about the next 4 events, rather I’ll simply state 5 statements which sum up the night:

10th January 2008 – Laidia’s Spätlese

1. I chose “Peaceful” for Laidia because I want her to be peaceful internally, and to be reminded of the dove – the sign God used to tell Noah that everything was alright.
2. There was a great hullaballoo on that most eventful night and the few hours preceding it. OCF is much more closely bonded than it necessarily has to be – how irritating.
3. I had a tiff with the management, although molten lava IS good.
4. I’m happy we didn’t end up eating roti prata – it would’ve been a rotten way to conclude a refined night.
5. Wai May was wearing BLUE and she looked nice.

11th January 2008 – Nothing for Wanling

1. We went to Soup Restaurant because Din Tai Fung was crowded + I hate it.
2. Madelin and Co were there so I forced myself into reconciliation by sitting next to them. It was surprisingly fun actually!
3. Wanling keeps assuming something’s going to happen. *bish there’s NOTHING!
4. You should never give Wanling “face”. Not even on her birthday. Make her pay full price for her food. Don’t sing “Happy Birthday” but give her the impression something bad’s going to happen.
5. Laidia looked like she just woke up. Wanling had silver nails which I’d never seen before. Jean carried her bag while eating. Peishan was wearing one of her umpteen Fila tops – this time it was BRIGHT BLUE. Wai May was wearing WHITE and she looked nice. I was in a terrible mood that night.

12th January 2008 – Torture for love

1. Laidia saved Ken and I a 40 hour trip to Bedok MRT. Hallelujah!
2. Sheik’s smses fuelled the hate in us as we made our way there. We have terrorist tendencies. Haha... had a good conversation with her after that. Somewhat miss her.
3. Zhikai is such a liar. I don’t think he was very convincing but it worked anyway.
4. Guards can be such nuisances. Even so, I love pushing people into water!
5. Laidia just woke up. Wanling is smarter than she looks. Peishan was wearing a BLACK Fila top; she changed into a GREEN one after that!! Boo Boo was yummm!

Despite it all, she's "Living a Life Worthy of Christ" Ohh yeah!!

13th January 2008 – Circle of fans

1. I want to place the whole of Singapore under an air-con dome.
2. It’s strange when everyone is on time. Well, since its church, it’s probably a good thing.
3. I love the old choruses the best.
4. Don’t order too much Hokkien Mee if you can’t finish it.
5. Sweat forms mammoth butterflies down the back of shirts. Zhikai and I were ready to fly. Can’t remember what anyone wore. Hot weather makes me feel extremely tetchy. Tai Tai’s went for foot reflexology after that (a by-the-way comment).

********************************************************

On a vastly seperate note,

I think sometimes people take advantage of Christian love a bit too much. Have you ever considered planning a trip, which includes accommodation? Instead of touching down and then desperately contacting friends? Or are you trying to test out if “God will provide” is true? Which it is indeed, but at whose expense?

No wonder the apostle Paul is a legend.

2008-01-14T02:31:00.000+08:00

OCF tends to comprise some of the most wonderful people I’ve ever known. They say that “Too much of a good thing is bad”, I’m not too sure. The past 2 weeks have been OCF-overload for me, which is admirable considering I’m not even in Melbourne. A few events I haven’t covered, such as Charles and Ken’s Birthday at Cafe Cartel as well as XX’s birthday.

Most people know that I hate expository writing, in particular, sequence. I dislike describing events in chronological order because that requires little thought/interpretation. However, it is one of the most informative modes of writing, and seeing as I DO have plenty to update, here goes:

28th December 2007 – THE LAST STAND

We had a gathering at my place which was initially planned as a house warming party, but for some reason never materialised. 16 people came over which is quite a record high, seeing as the Yunnan people weren’t even around. The gathering was themed “Superheroes & Supervillains”. As always, we conservative Asians couldn’t be bothered dressing up. I paraded a pathetic impersonation of Shrek. Ken deserved an honourable mention for wearing a stuffy toga and pretending to be Hercules. He looked more like Julius Caesar to me. Doesn’t Hercules walk around topless, throwing boulders off cliffs? Kat’s attempt at Jean Grey was ubercool, except for the fact that Famke Janssen happens to be a terribly gorgeous woman. Put it this way, any girl would’ve failed.

The food was so-so only. I don’t really trust people who give plenty of empty compliments (such as on food). We played charades cum Pictionary with the stack of paper and marker I stole from the office. It was fun even though I didn’t get to play. I prefer creating angst among teams than being in one.

We learnt that pushing people into the swimming pool is highly addictive because once wet, it becomes a lot easier and convenient to share the love. Nearly everyone went it except for Barbara (who hugged the pillar which held the roof above our heads), Wan Wan (who lied about not having an extra change of clothes), Sam (because he had a camera around his neck and was unofficial event coverer), Laidia (for goodness knows what reason), Sheralyn (because she looked pretty that night) and Roy & Charles (because they hid in typically cowardly fashion). I might have left people out – my eyes were heavily chlorinated.

The gift exchange after that was entertaining too. It shows that you should never bring too nice a gift because most people don’t bother to choose their own carefully anyway. I got Jean Grey’s gift due to a prearranged agreement. Yup, I rigged the gift exchange. Muahaha...

What impressed me was that people in KL had somehow heard of this gathering, even though I had made my invites discreet and as exclusive as possible. This occurrence was to rear its ugly head in another gathering soon after. I should have been forewarned.

(4 pretty girls with balloons) Can’t be stuffed with a guy pic. Actually I don’t even have pictures, just stole this one from Wan Wan and Zhng-ed it so that she can’t accuse me of plagiarism.

9th Jan 2008 – RICE TABLE WITH THE BOZ

I hadn’t seen Wai May for quite a while so it was good to catch her for a bit before we met the rest for dinner at Rice Table. She hasn’t changed (well duh, it’s only been slightly more than a month). But she was still wearing her pinkish top – you know, the one she wears allllllllll the time. It’s so cliché that I think of her every time I see that colour. Incidentally, Lydia (Lee), Sheralyn, Roy and I have an annual pig-out session when we’re all back home. Originally held at Newton, we soon became too classy and relocated our spending prowess to Rice Table, hence that night’s dinner. Wai May and I got lost. My bad, because I wasn’t paying attention to directions. It was a little embarrassing I suppose but I’m quite the blasé person in such situations.

Mr and Mrs Gavin Wong were there along with Vut, Pei Pei, Lydia and others. The food was awesome, but the fellowship was even better. We somehow ended up fighting over who should foot the bill – Singaporeans versus the rest. Obviously Sheralyn won because she’s a dentist and earns heaps, but more importantly, she is quite easily the most intimidating person around.

Dessert was at McDonalds, not out of choice, but of convenience. The ice cream was sub-standard, but that should be expected. Again, we were really only there for the fellowship. I kind of got the feeling that today’s meet up was for the senior citizens of OCF. Wai May’s 23 and she was the youngest present. Makes you shit on your pants doesn’t?

More events to cover:

28 Dec – The Last Stand
9 Jan – Rice Table with the Boz
10 Jan – Laidia’s Spätlese
11 Jan – Nothing for Wanling
12 Jan – Torture for love
13 Jan – Circle of fans

Hopefully, I’ll cover one/two a day and don’t do anything interesting with OCFers in between.

2008-01-09T03:30:00.000+08:00

I GET SO BLOODY IRRITATED WHEN PEOPLE CAN'T KEEP THEIR NOSES OUT OF MY BUSINESS. WHY CAN'T I ORGANISE SOMETHING WITHOUT PEOPLE INTERFERING? WHY MUST EVERYONE THINK THEY'RE A PART OF EVERYTHING?

my goodness... seriously. you guys suck

2008: No money, No honey (?)

2008-01-01T02:54:00.000+08:00

The most common question asked during my sister’s wedding had to be:
“Hey! When is it your turn ah?”

Depending on whom the asker was, my typical reply was:
“I’m waiting for you to find a pretty girl for me” (for the more senior, kaypoh aunties who would chuckle heartily) or “How about you and me?” (to the single, more attractive women *usually followed by a wink*)

In reality however, it’s not exactly rocket science to observe that I’m not ready for marriage of any sort. Heck, I even have difficulty choosing ONE girl that I like. Therefore the widely accepted “No money, No honey” doesn’t make much sense. I have lots of friends with the money, who don’t actually want the honey. In fact, money doesn’t equal honey, because you can’t slap on a tangible value on another human being. Especially not girls who get terribly offended when treated as “objects” or “barters”.

Just last month, I met an architect whom I had gotten to know through work. She is the alert, wide-eyed, tall, fair, soft-skinned, graceful kind – a cross between Tea Leoni (whom I happen to think extremely highly of) and Joey Yung. I love her crisp, precise voice and her keen sense of grammar and wit, as well as the clickity-clack of her heels as she walks alongside me. Most of all, she doesn’t speak a word of architecture to me. I just hate people with limited conversational topics, or simply harp on one their familiar with. She exudes class in every sense and often leaves me awestruck (which is a hard thing to do).

Yes, that’s it – her class and her demeanour, that’s what gets me going.

To cut a long story short, as of this present moment, I’ve just walked her home, having spent the passing of the new year with her. It helps tremendously that she stays so near by. However, she doesn’t know our Almighty Saviour, and while she’s been open to evangelism (from me) so far, all I can do is to follow up occasionally and pray for her. As far as I’m concerned, any chance of us having a future together is farfetched, or at least it has been KIV-ed indefinitely, until the situation changes.

Speaking of which, I met ST at my sister’s wedding. She’s an elegant girl who strikes me as the spoilt, pouting sort. Still, she looked good enough for me to engage her in conversation (which turned out to be largely disappointing). Apparently, she’s attached and 2 years older, but since when has either ever deterred me? *sneers*

Anyway, enough of the girl talk. Here are my resolutions for 2008 (so far)

1. Learn how to apologise. Fat shithead me stepped on my sister’s spectacles (it was a genuine mistake) about 2 weeks ago and didn’t apologise. I don’t actually know why I didn’t. It could be that I didn’t want to sound insincere, but it’s more likely that I was just sleepy. Later on, when Pa scolded her, she didn’t mention my name nor blamed me. I felt like such a useless fucking bastard. I know she must have been so let down by me, and yet I did nothing. I am pathetic. Period.

2. As far as relationships towards friends (and girls) are concerned, I aim to be committed. A whole lot more than I’ve been.

The only reason why I’m blogging this is so that I can be rendered accountable to you should you observe otherwise.

I wanted to sign off 2007 with a collage of memories. Then I realised that not only were there too many, I would also untactfully omit too many people. Nevertheless, if you’re reading this, chances are you’re probably someone I care about and formed part of my 2007. Thank you for being there.

Blooming where you’re planted

2007-12-11T01:29:00.000+08:00

It is always easier to criticise than to appreciate, to dampen than to encourage.

People often ask me if there is anything I like about National Service (NS). Oftentimes, I will scowl and whine about how much of a waste of my life NS is, and how I would be much better off studying or working. I will not hesitate to launch into a tirade about the Singapore government (according to Zhen, how the sun shines through their arses) and how I wouldn’t mind organising a coup d’état. Carrying it out is another thing of course.

Unfortunately, God has called us to submit to authority and throw aside our innate jouissance. This is hard let me tell you. This morning while singing the National Anthem, I pondered over the mindlessness of this act of enforced patriotism. The moment I was young enough to speak coherently, I was taught the National Anthem. In kindergarten, primary school, secondary school and junior college, the ritualistic “Majulah Singapura” was never very far away. It was sung every morning at 7.30am. We observed solemnly the flag raising ceremony while our teachers observed, hawk-eyed, for any signs of disconsolate fidgeting among the ranks. I had never once thought about the meaning of the anthems’ words, nor did I bother to find out. It was complete gibberish to me as far as I was concerned. I doubt I was the only one. Yet, it remained an unspoken topic, a taboo subject. No one discussed it, questioned the motive or even sought to understand it.

Today, I suddenly felt a deep sympathy for the author of the anthem – Zubir Said. While he must be bursting with pride every morning at 7.30, he would surely be saddened that most people were singing the anthem mechanically, out of resignation than of choice. As I looked around my platoon, I glanced at the other men carelessly and dispassionately blaring out the anthem. Bereft of any tonal or musical ability, theirs’ was a tuneless yet forceful rendition.

. . .

I was in the old National Stadium, in front of 50,000 cheering Singaporeans, kitted out completely (rather distastefully I might add) in red and white. My uniform was heavily starched, boots polished to perfection (super kilat), weapon winking merrily at the sun. Yes, I was part of the marching contingent. Leafy-green apache helicopters flew overhead carrying the Singapore flag, which fluttered boastfully in the wind.

Engulfed with blind, jingoistic emotion, I closed my eyes and sang, albeit hoarsely…

Mari kita rakyat Singapura
Sama-sama menuju bahagia

. . .

“Eh, are you a spy from Malaysia?”

I jerked to attention. It was Sim, standing next to me. I had apparently not sang the National Anthem.

Immediately, I thought about my blind loyalty towards the nation that has taught me so much.
I thought about the 12 years of education in this nation.
I thought about National Service and how it has shaped my life thus far.
I thought about my friends, my family and my loved ones.
I thought about the familiar landscapes, the overcrowded train stations and the towering HDB blocks.
I thought about God, and whether or not He sang the National Anthem with me each morning at 7.30am and understood each word of it. Heck, was God Singaporean?

And I realised that my loyalty was not based on an Anthem, but on love. Not on a nation, but on a caring and generous God. Home is where God’s heart is. And I’m sure God would not have it any other way.

If its 39 degrees outside, would you hold her hand?

2007-11-29T06:29:00.000+08:00

As painfully erratic as Melbourne’s weather is, change is often considered necessary for survival. Personally, this semester has been rather unlike what I’d define a “normal” and “typical” semester. I’ve spent much time reflecting on the past semester, and concluded that it has been typically hectic. However, the main difference has been lack of “me” time and even less “her” time.

Nonetheless, even if the semester had been better planned time-wise, I’m not sure I would have spent anymore “her” time then I did. You see, the fulfilling part of this semester was its people oriented-ness, in contrast to a person oriented one. I spent far less time watching TV, staying at home and playing games than meeting people (friends and strangers) over coffee or dinner. If interaction is indeed the basis of all relationships, then I did myself no harm.

I enjoyed the times in the studio with dy, mel, eu and April. They were immensely rewarding in that I found other sources of welcome spiritual encouragement from places other than OCF. Speaking of which, I learnt so much more about certain individuals in OCF. Beautiful and engaging late night conversations are my favourite. These can only take place where there are words to be said otherwise either party will very quickly relieve themself from such an awkward situation.

I recall being bitterly disappointed on Thanksgiving, because parting ways is never an easy thing. Yes, I got emotional and no, I’m not a robot. I’m not actually sure why some people don’t think I’m human. Cold and callous me? Possibly.

This semester I’ve become deeply convicted that beauty is only skin deep. However, I hasten to add that it (beauty) is painfully important. On the other hand, spending time (lots and lots and lots of) with someone might make them appeal to you more than before. Before this, I never imagined myself saying something like this, superficial and insincere as I tend to be. Nevertheless, I’d still much prefer the “initial attraction” approach to the “acquired taste” approach. Some of you will differ I’m sure.

According to Wan Wan, I’ve high standards as far as women are concerned. Truth be told, I’ve shut off potential relationships for the past 2 years, not due to arrogance, but only because there is no one who can possibly fit the mould I’ve cast mentally. Despite being troubled at the time when she said it, I guess it is somewhat true – plus the fact we both proved it (which was good fun!). I will not change myself in a hurry because selfish as it sounds, I believe in the stringent measures that ensure quality. (I’ve also previously mentioned I need to start getting serious as far as relationships are concerned). I loathe the stereotypical sickly-sweet Christian male. I call him the “devoted dog” – the comfortable, safe men, the loyal escorts, the doormats, those who continue to give and give and love and love no matter how standoffish the girl. I hope I will never have to demean myself to that extent. Perseverance is overrated – again, some will differ in opinion. Do share though, even if I might not care about your opinion.

My girlfriend will be my equal.
My lover.
My friend.
My enemy.

But no, I would NOT hold her hand if its 39 degrees outside. Sorry.

The reason for irregular updates

2007-11-08T08:26:00.000+08:00

Here you go, for the many who've asked:

Farting

2007-10-08T18:55:00.000+08:00

"Relationships are best measured by farting."

"Erm... Excuse me?"

"The stages of a relationship can be defined by farting.

Stage 1 is the conspiracy of silence. This is a fantasy period where both parties pretend that they have no bodily waste. This illusion is very quickly shattered by that first shy “oooh-did-you-fart?” moment, followed by the sheepish admission of truth. This heralds a period of deeper intimacy – a period I like to call the “fart honeymoon”, where both parties find each others’ gas just about the cutest thing in the world. But of course no honeymoon can last forever.

And so we reach the critical fork in the fart – either the fart loses its power to amuse and embarrass thereby signifying true love. Or else, it begins to annoy and disgust, thereby symbolising all that is blocked and rancid in the formerly beloved.

Do you see what I’m getting at?"

"I'm upside down, God..."

2007-10-04T14:10:00.000+08:00

I had the sweet privilege of meeting Linette for dinner on Monday night. As per normal, we talked about everything under the sun. Then we stumbled upon religion and how it should affect our relationship/selection criteria for future partners. In the midst of sharing our past experiences, I concluded that I would never accept a non-Christian partner. She laughed it off; although it was clearly apparent she was not impressed by my naivety – mocking almost.

Then our conversation drifted off along the lines of predestination. As a scientist (mind you she’s very smart), Linette informed me that research has shown that religion is predetermined by one’s genes. As a result, some are “born to be” more religious than others. Oh, the folly and delusion of science and logic, why do you continue to deny God’s sovereignty?

My dear girl, I’ll have you know I wept hard that night for your unbelief.

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Dinner and “Hairspray” with the sitcom house, Wai May etc. was good. I don’t appreciate large women, but hey, they do look kinda funny bouncing around the place. For some reason or other, we started talking about personality types – the Myers-Briggs Indicator to be precise. Since then, quite a few have taken the test, blogged about it and believed this lie, much to my dismay. Despite science validating this research, it is completely inaccurate because:

1. They reflect the person you WANT to be, not ARE.
2. You cannot be consistently “yourself” for 72 questions.
3. There are 16 generalised personalities. There are 72 questions. Based on probability, this also means there are (1 × 2 × 3… × 71) or 71! personalities. By the way, the calculator only calculates up to 69! which is 1.711 × 1098 (blogger doesn't allow me to do "to the power of")
4. If you read all the other profiles, don’t they all describe a little of you as well?

I turned out to be an ENFJ, but so what? Tomorrow, if something bad happens, I might be an ISTP. So much for science and psychology – all a load of feel-good-factor cum bullshit.

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This morning, I watched Evan Almighty, courtesy of April (thanks girl!).

Everyone thinks their skies ahead are blue. No one envisions doom and gloom for his/her future. No one sees the storm ahead. But my dear readers, if you think you can go through life without hardship, you’re much mistaken. The end is nigh and so much the better because of it. Often times, it isn’t until we can see with our own eyes the disaster from a distance before we react. And we react by turning to science and logic. Intelligent indeed!

Hollywood softens the scene because many eventually scramble into the ark. In the historical account of Noah’s ark, no one believed and each and every human being was utterly destroyed. I can imagine Noah’s sorrow as he became the butt of his friends’ jokes. I often wonder whether he ever doubted God or if his wife and kids had considered leaving him.

I guess the main message is that God is never wrong. There are times where tasks seem so insurmountable and perspectives, so absurd. Indeed, the Christian walk is difficult, unconventional and at times, eccentric. Sure, physical persecution might not be what we’re called to bear, but mentally, we are at loggerheads with the world. Wait, are YOU? But whatever God does, we can take heart, because He has done everything only out of love. Love for me. Love for you. And we can always be sure that after the flood subsides, there is that beautiful rainbow, an almighty reminder of God’s covenant with man.

I’m crying as I write this because I feel so imperfect and dirty and yet You called me to serve You, God. You even cared to show me this rainbow when I was the one at fault in the first place…

Oh for a thousand tongues to sing my great Redeemer’s praise!
The glories of my God and King, the triumphs of His grace!

My gracious Master and my God, assist me to proclaim,
To spread through all the earth abroad the honours of Thy name!

Darling, save the last dance for me...

2007-09-18T21:15:00.000+08:00

If I had a dog, he would have died.

I’ve always been bad at maintaining things. Yes, yes, so my blog is breeding mosquitoes. Thank you all for your helpful and oh-so-discreet probing: in my face, behind my back, and even in cyberspace.

In recent times, I’ve had plenty of insightful conversations – insightful meaning heartfelt, sincere, intelligent communication. These possibly stretch for up to 6 hours and are brain draining, yet rewarding. Nevertheless, they are requisite for knowing someone better. Talking to both Song Ai and Vivienne has taught me something: It is possible to love someone without actually loving them.

You see, there are 2 kinds of love – a genuine, concerned love for an individual (which might be expressed in a parent to child relationship/brother to brother relationship and other permutations) and a romantic love (boy meets girl and vice versa).

Generally, the distinctions between the two are clearest within families. One cannot deny the existence of the former love, if not the whole concept of a family would break down. Age is also a good distinction, although this can be blurred because there are weird people around, such as yours truly. What really troubles most people in their 20s is the feasibility of romantic love between two individuals, which they cannot handle. As the saying goes – Boys and girls can never be good friends. This usually results in parties avoiding each other after an initial “close” period. It can also occur if parties do not understand each other well enough or long enough (Song Ai). Most disturbingly, it reveals a lack of maturity, at the same time exposing a lack of experience.

How would you react if a guy gave you a bag of sweets?

If you were hot, you might think it sweet of him, but ugh, how desperate and… my 89th bag of sweets and counting. How boring can life get?
If you were not that hot, you might think oh SHIT… he likes me! How?! Damn it?!
If you were deprived, you might think oh CRAP, no one has ever given me sweets before. Die, he’s such a big pervert!
If you were nice, you would share it to all your friends and say you bought it specially for them without mentioning the guy in question

What would you do? Let me just say from experience that a popular girl never, ever overreacts because it gives the game away. Even if she’s impressed, she will always take it in her stride. Guys would do well to realise that, yet not misinterpret it should the converse be true. But even if you misinterpret (which is most of the time), so what?

You know, I’m simply of the opinion that people don’t enjoy playing with fire. And I don’t know why. It could be the “there’s no-one-else-like-her/him-so-I-can’t-let-her/him-go” syndrome. But that’s a load of crap and self pity. Think about it boys, after getting rejected, how quickly do you locate a new target? Think about it girls. How many of you get a “rebound guy” days after a break up?

So just how do you distinguish between the 2 “loves”? How do you know when someone wants to be “just friends”?

The answer is that you DON’T. Because a lot of the times, THEY DON’T! It’s all a matter of good fortune, timing and emotions. Most of times, rejection occurs because of confusion, not because of abstinence. I suggest that the 2 loves be blurred at all times where deemed practical. Always keep both options open, yet closed. Be mindful, yet open. What I mean is: Be excessively nice to everyone, much, much more than what is required/expected. In this way, not only will everyone appear “special”, it also makes you appreciate the people around you more.

As for the romantic sort of love, put that aside. If can’t love your friends, how can you cope with a partner?

A parting shot which Vivienne has backed me up on: Girls can smell desperation from 10 light years away. Never, never, never be desperate. The longer you wait the better for you. If I were you, focus on God. Let Him provide.

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Here’s something beautiful to look at. A few sketches of mine:

And also please do check out my auctions by clicking on the link on the right panel. I DO want to get my Leica DiLux 3 badly.

OCF Convention Ball 2007

2007-08-14T20:16:00.000+08:00

Here are some of the pictures of the OCF Ball. Everyone looked terrific without the usual uni-wear (although some also look good with uni-wear). I feel like a commentator after a fashion gala. Haha...

*drumroll*

And here are the awards:

1. Sheik Yan deserves an honourable mention for doing Dot's, Rachelle's, Wanling's and her own hair. Wanling's hair was especially intricate.
2. Ming was unexpectedly beautiful. That, or she suddenly became photogenic.
3. I thought Ping Han's shirt and tie went superbly well. Not bad considering he didn't put in much thought.
4. Lydia's pendant/necklace was a sweet touch with complimented her skin tone most beautifully. Erm.. she claims she doesn't know what it is.
5. Wai May was oozing class all over the place. Dazzling and stunning as always.

Okay.. you get the drift. Everyone looked good. Myself included (how could I leave ME out?)

And here's my BS group's reaction upon realising I had taken over..

Finally, a group shot, which is probably useless, since you can't see very much.

National Day

2007-08-10T13:57:00.000+08:00

National Day. Is it an excuse to do something out of the ordinary? Is it a loophole for irresponsible behaviour? Most of all, is it a day where surreal nationalistic politics and propaganda mask the hustle bustle of society, causing it to come to a grinding halt? Only to reassume its pathetic state after the tunes of “Home” by Kit Chan is over?

I’m not so sure.

Last night was a strange one, unlike any other. The Monash Singapore Ball was good. The food was not classy (but we’re Singaporeans) and the drinks were good (almost too good). The night was going perfectly well, and I had everything pretty much under control, until bang! I met her. Again… You see, for many months, we’ve deliberately avoided each other. But that’s when the real shit happens. She stopped coming to church (my church that is) and that uneasy feeling of longing was clamped down and shut up as best as we could. We decided that it would be a collaborative effort, because the intensity, the electricity, the chemistry – it became too hard to control.

To be fair, we had our good times. In short bursts. There was nothing permanent or stable about “us”. But mind you, the times we shared were always passionate and deliberate. I would label her as a perfect picture of what I hope my partner would be – intelligent, astute, and shrewd, with a mind that is always exploring, full of hope and wonder. She is beautiful, lithe, elegant and oriental. Not weak and feeble, but independent and sharp. She is Singaporean and says lah just the way I love. She doesn’t watch TV 24-7 (I find girls who know everything about TV series boring, socially deprived, entirely one-dimensional and quite honestly, stupid). Her inner beauty shines through. As I remember her sitting in LSCC, I recall her eyes drifting to meet mine, that feline look and the bolts of electricity it sent through me. I could never make a move. Not in church. Not so long as we had mutual friends, because then things would become complicated, and that is bad.

Last night it was 2006 all over again, packaged into one intense night. There was no way the ball room could have contained us. We left. Back to my place, and we talked and talked and talked, and I realised all over again how sexy intelligent women are, and how starved I have been over the past year. I understood why I never got down to doing research about breasts as promised, because I am not interested. I came to see how awesomely beautiful this creature in front of me was and how much I missed her.

As day broke, I was reminded that the fairy tale would soon be over. I made her breakfast and then we kissed hard and held each other tight, because we knew that National Day wouldn’t come again so fast, and it would be a long time before we resurfaced old passions.

For that, which otherwise might not have happened, happy 42nd birthday Singapore.

Haressed to blog - unbelievable!

2007-08-01T11:35:00.000+08:00

Ok... I must admit I'm not quite proud of this post. But it has been posted under duress. Urrrgh! I might decide to delete it and rewrite it. Incidentally, it was written on the 17th of July, just 15 days ago. On a brighter note, I stumbled upon a quote "Boys who were breastfed tend to like women with bigger breasts!" Heh heh... I'm off to do research on that before I blog about it. Interesting shit simply because it explains my non-preoccupation with lady humps.

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Oooooo… I guess I ruffled a few “white” feathers in my last post huh? The response hasn’t exactly been friendly back Down Under. But come on, face it. I exposed y’all. Exposed y’all… *sneers* *dances*

On a much, much lighter note, here’s evidence of post-colonialism – generally defined as the liberation of a once colonised people. Hongkong marking its 10 year anniversary as part of mainland China. Seems like they’ve adapted pretty well because they’ve learnt how to not spell properly. Poor brits, a hundred over years of rule and still this happens. Tsk tsk tsk… Did you not teach the word “shit” in school?

Uni starts in less than a week. Soon, I will become a hermit again, bereft of internet access once more. Also, I realised I’m no longer spending time on msn anymore. A good thing? I’m not too sure. But I’ve still met up those who mean something to me this time around – shows that msn isn’t everything.

Finally, a new semester and a new bible study group as well. I’m not sure how I will cope after having gotten used to working with Sheralyn for so long. I feel like I’ve abandoned my group and that friendships created somehow never reached their full potential (yet). I wonder if I will still be invited to their socials. Resist change so they say. Postively, it will be opportune to create fresh bonds, albeit for half a year. I’m so NOT enjoying leaving my current group. :(((

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yucks... horrible post. *trashes computer* *throws keyboard onto floor* *punches kenchin and wanling*

Identity and Difference

2007-07-03T18:10:00.000+08:00

This article is especially dedicated to my dear friend L, who is currently confused. I trust this update finds you alive and in good health. It is also for the general Asian girl, who tends to be mostly confused anyway.

I call this the White Male Yellow Chick (WMYC) phenomenon. This can also be used inversely i.e. Yellow Male White Chick (YMWC).

In recent times, I am led to believe that there has been a trend in inter-racial/cultural relationships. Not so much for Asian males, but more so for the Asian chicks. Generally the reasons given are that Asian men can’t speak properly, aren’t romantic, are too shallow, uneducated, have poor emotional intelligence, don’t know how to treat women and so on and so forth. I’ve heard even more bizarre excuses which I probably shouldn’t list. Hence, women, particularly in this generation have taken it upon themselves to look for love abroad. There tends to be a social prestige associated with the clinging on to a white man’s arm (albeit an awfully hairy one), as compared to a short yellow man who speaks singlish (like the girl does at home). As such, the educated women who have experienced overseas life are imbued with the mentality that 97% of Asian men are uncouth, rude and quite stupid. They also fall prey to the stereotypical white male who has lovely blue eyes, buys flowers and writes poems.

And sad to say, the women are pretty much spot on. Asian guys DO suck.

Fast forward 10 years down the track, there aren’t many WMYC around anymore. Lack of precedents? Not really. More like a painful cultural change that ultimately never worked out. What of the white males? Well, after backpacking for a year and half, the white male doesn’t have any money anymore plus its not really white culture to save money anyway. But that’s okay, because he’s happily married to another white chick that you recognise as one of your uni coursemates. And what happens to the yellow chicks? Well, they’ve simply spent too much time trying to fit into white culture and have either failed, or simply been left on the shelf, used and discarded. White males are not stupid. Yellow males are not stupid either. Not when it comes to beauty. Can the beauty of Zhang Ziyi and Gong Li match say Gisele Bunchen or even Paris Hilton? Give me a break. If you Asian girls think you measure up to a white chick, think again! Smaller boobs, smaller asses, shorter legs, frumpy black hair. Enough said. If you think it’s cool to have a white male partner, trust me, they think it’s pretty cool to have an exotic oriental girlfriend. If you think they’re really into you, it helps to remember that both white and yellow males are similarly horny.

It all boils down to identity at the end of the day. Who are you? What makes you you? Like poles attract. Unlike poles must be forced to attract.

You see, most Asian women end up marrying Asian men – who sit in front of the TV all night and don’t want to have sex (the average sex session for an Asian couple lasts 17 minutes as compared to a white couples’ 23 minutes). Why? Again, I reiterate. Culture. Remember the times where you couldn’t say “lah” and “wah lao” and “aiyah”? Instead you had to say “Jesus Christ” and “fuck”? Remember the times you had to alter your accent so that he could understand you? And then back in your home country, everyone understood you perfectly even though your English was rather incoherent? How long can you “act” white? How long can you maintain your oh-so-cultured front? Have you ever wondered why you are the one that must change to suit him? Why not the other way?

I often say that the only thing that binds white and yellow is the fact that they have both either been rejected by their own race, or they think they’re just way too high and mighty. Either way, it should rank on most people’s list – to have a cross-culture relationship. Just for experience sake. I’ve had 2 so far, one with an Australian and another with a Romanian (Japanese are classified as Asians). The 2 chicks were definitely loads of fun, in fake sort of ways, but commitment remained largely taboo.

Why do parents resist racial difference? I’m not so sure as each will have their reasons – pride, family surnames and a host of other nonsensical reasons. I would object because fundamentally, white and yellow don’t mix. Look at the Australian born Chinese hanging out with each other, rather than the other white kids, and it becomes amazingly apparent.

Birds of a feather flock together. Period. Of course, there are those who will be convinced that you are the exception, that you can make it work. Sure, I would recommend you try. It’s good to test your emotional pain threshold once in a while. But let’s just see how long you can fake it. Because if I were you, I would spend my shelf life looking for a realistic partner, rather than a pseudo-romantic white man who only wants you for 23 minutes.

Oh, and tell me when you get an Asian husband.

The Problem with Architects

2007-06-05T15:07:00.000+08:00

Disclaimer: This article is not written for the architect, but rather, from an architect’s perspective. I don’t claim to represent architects as a professional body, so you should not use this as a stereotype (because you might find someone much more vile and despicable).

Architects are the most arrogant people with the hugest egos in the world. They believe they are correct nearly all the time, and thus take insults personally. Needless to say, they possess an elitist view of the world. Architects consider themselves the most intelligent people in the world – the saviours and emancipators of all mankind, with the power to liberate man from the four walls (literally and allegorically speaking) he feels himself within constantly. Yes, an architect is more intelligent than a doctor because he is a thinker, a voyageur and a flaneur all at the same time. Without diagnosis. An architect never walks around blankly, because he cannot. His gaze interprets all things. In an instant, he draws hypotheses and conclusions about the past, present and future. Such is his insight.

That was me at the start of the year. Throughout the semester, I’ve been strongly rebuked by lots of non-architects, whether because of jealously of what I do not know. Architects generally agree with me with clenched fists and a big grin. The architects that don’t are usually bland and character-less, they might as well be engineers, who really cares? Okay, maybe I’m just severely deluded. In any case, I wonder if anyone watched Survivor Fiji which aired last night. Not surprisingly, the architect (Sophia) was the most disliked, because she was deemed extremely bossy and conceited. I guess I’m not so unique than.

Increasingly, this has pervaded my life. I’m increasingly convinced that I am at the top of the food chain, an analogy which I have used before on more than a single occasion. Girls I used to find impressive no longer have any impact on me. Instead, I find myself a little flirtatious towards everyone (much to my disgust), only to retract if things start becoming complicated. Truth be told, I’m interested in anyone and everyone, but only to a certain point – very, very, very much dependant on her intelligence, but even that stops me far, far off from any serious relationship because I'm quite ball-less at times. I don’t try to be secretive about flirting, or be the target/girlfriend-stealer; I just do it, albeit subconsciously at times. Someone from OCF told me this year “Jon, you’re such a flirt. But at least you’re doing it openly.” Yeah, I guess that sums it up, doesn’t? Selective flirting is for the weak. Unattractive girls have attractive friends too don't they? Hahaha… as if I didn’t really mean that.

Design is over for the semester - which also means my ban of MSN, TV and WOMEN is officially over, only to resume July 23rd 2007, when uni re-opens. Hooray!

P/S Have any of you noticed the hot ginger-soy-wasabei girl at Plush Fish? Okay, she’s hard to describe because they’re mostly hot I know. (I swear the owner of Plush Fish is one horny dude) I've sneakily arranged to meet her tomorrow night for dinner. Oh my goodness, I miss the women! Uuuurgh!

When T E X T just isn't enough...

2007-04-13T22:33:00.000+08:00

Nope. I'm not dead. Not yet. I just don't possess an internet connection. But hey, I wouldn’t mind dying either. Life is good, heaven is much better.

But here I am, at 1am in the morning, tired and hungry, reviving my comatose blog, breathing verve into this lifeless bit of cyberspace, giving an update of what my life looks like. I have become that much more theoretical mind you, despite the consternations of people around me. Practical living is for the common man, thinking is for the dreamers – those eternally lost in a personal fog.

Sure, everyone has a hypothesis, a formula that they live their life according to. But how many have thought about that theory? And whether manipulating that theory might result in a more fulfilling life, or a wife (for rhyme’s sake)?

I have. I am ever more aware of the gnawing sentiment that the world is made up of nothing but text and numbers, and should you go deeper – dots. Human beings are nothing but a string of DNA, temporary and perishable. And until recently, editable and even predictable by science. For instance, I can describe a mutual friend in words. You understand what I mean and you might know who I refer to. You can even visualize the person in your memory and that makes him/her mere text. If I carry on describe the clothes and adornments he/she wears, you will soon realize that “colour” enters the conversation. And surely you realize colours are defined in terms of numbers – hue, saturation and darkness. Heck, when you die, your tombstone will consist of nothing but text and numbers!

But one thing is neither quantifiable nor reducible – the soul. The inner man. The inner me. The inner you. The intangible, everlastingly slimy thing that no theorist has ever, and will ever manage to define scientifically. Yet we ask ourselves: Where would I go after I die? What if I die of heart attack while reading this? What if I was having shower and electrocuted myself? Bizarre but certainly possible. It is not my intent to sound morbid or macabre for that matter, but death comes knocking. It’s a fact of life. Don’t hide it from your children! Don’t pretend that death only finds the elderly or the wicked!

As for me, theorizing the world has simply proven to me one thing – the downfall of creation and the sin of man, both spiraling downward, completely out of hand. Sometimes, nothing would please me more than Jesus come down and sweep me away into His arms. But no, because as of now, my soul is not yet required. So I will be carefree and happy, for we are a liberated people, set free by the blood of the Lamb who was slain on the cross. With Christ on our side, who can be against us?

For the first time in my life, there is peace within. Sure, the assignments pile up. There are times where things don’t go my way (and girls don’t come my way). But all is well; all is well with my soul.

Love,

For the love of human flight

2007-02-10T02:18:00.000+08:00

Basketball is the result of man's innate desire to fly.

I love playing basketball. It’s a great way to make friends (especially to develop camaraderie among guys) and get to know new people. Recently, I’ve been playing basketball with my colleagues and enjoying myself tremendously. There’s nothing better than shooting some hoops after a grilling day at work. Occasionally, the odd babe/colleague appearing on the court makes it all the more worthwhile. Guys are guys – we’re all show-offs although in basketball, it can be especially difficult to display your arsenal of skills if you aren’t at all competent in the first place, or the opposition is just too strong. Of course, you can always fall down and pretend to be hurt, although that attracts sympathy (or disgust in some cases) more often than not. Oh, unless you’re bleeding all over due to your “passion” for the game – but that’s still pretty lame.

Here are 10 things I especially hate about basketball players (girls and guys alike)

1. Players who talk a shed load of crap every time they have the ball, such as “nah, you can’t get me” or “c’mon baby, get this ball off me”. Try rejecting him and staring at him, the reaction is priceless I tell you. You’ll shut him up for good.

2. Players who call foul at every and any opportunity. Sure, it’s easy to draw a foul on any opponent, but sometimes calling a foul ALL the time is annoying. I might as well as not defend at all.

3. Players who have their arms all over you whether you have the ball or not. PISS OFF!

4. Players who shout around all over the court. Apparently, some coaches teach that the point guard (playmaker) should holler out instructions to teammates. This is retarded simply because the other team who understands will easily move to cover defensively. It’s not really rocket science is it?

5. Tall players who think they are Yao Ming. They don’t bother to jump when they shoot nor catch a rebound. I just LOVE rejecting such players! Again, the reaction is PRICELESS.

6. Players who play TOO SLOWLY. These players don’t find any openings because they’re just too slow. They pass slowly, run slowly and shoot slowly. Most irritating! DOUBLE UP! The fastest way to scoring is always the best way!

7. Players who play for the sake of impressing (girls) are the most ineffective. Like in real life, where girls are never impressed by guys who try to impress.

8. Players who enjoy falling down/feigning injury. Seriously, it’s quite pathetic!

9. Players who wear pro basketball gear to play 3 on 3 street ball. Nike tank tops, sweatbands, knee pads, Air Jordans, T Macs, Kobes’ and God knows what. No point having expensive gear if you suck as a player. Save the money and buy yourself a portable hoop.

10. Players who ONLY stay within the key, meaning just one metre away from the basket. Guys like Shaq. You know why he’s so good? Because he’s tall, fat and near the basket. How can you EVER be off-form when all you do is dunk and shoot from a metre out?

Actually, I don’t hate anything about female players except that they’re always stressed up when in possession of the ball, forget the rules far too often and scratch me all the time. I can’t defend them too hard because I might hurt them. So I just make do with name-calling and placing my palms on their face. But still, they’re girls and we wouldn’t be able to survive without them. Heh heh…

Isn’t basketball just a fantastic game!!

Jon, I don't get it. How do you approach a girl?

2007-01-19T01:58:00.000+08:00

Indeed, I get asked this question rather often by friends.

After a while of pondering, and deliberating my thought process, I thought I’d share a portion of my knowledge with you inquisitive men, with help from author Leil Lowndes. Truth be told, I’m not smarter than a lot of you, and I’m certainly not better looking, but I DO know how to approach a woman, start a conversation, hold one and end one. The point to remember is that women are NOT so much visual creatures as we men are. 80% of the time, she doesn’t pay attention to whether you have gelled your hair or not. In short, appearance is NOT the most important thing, unlike what most men believe. What is crucial is the way you carry yourself. Of course, you should not reek or be sweaty etc. I believe that 95% of girls are actually willing to give men a go at themselves, that’s why men need to create a deep and quick impression, or risk her rapidly losing interest. As a man, you have the advantage of “sweet talking”, or I prefer to call it “feeding her inner girl”. Mothers always tell their daughters to beware the man with the sweet tongue – and for perfectly good reason, because girls cannot resist sweet talk.

I shall now discuss HOW a man can (not should mind you) approach a girl.

Guys, I’m sure you’ve seen that beautiful girl across the room, given her the eye, received the compliment then become S T U C K. First and foremost, let me just say that this is totally normal. You’re NOT weird or cowardly, you just don’t know how to approach her.

Step 1: Look for an ornament. Is she wearing anything that attracts your attention? Maybe a necklace, or a bracelet, or a pair of earrings. The majority of girls would like to believe they have good dress/fashion sense. You can start off a conversation by mentioning that she has interesting belt buckle for instance, then carry on by saying why you are fascinated by it, and how it makes her look all the more alluring. But you should not make remarks about how a low cut dress enhances her chest for example because that is too direct, crude and quite frankly, stupid. Keep it clean and charming, and she will be fascinated by how observant you are. Conversely, you can also give potential parties an excuse to talk to you by being a topic of conversation yourself, such as wearing interesting shirts, ties, cuff links etc.

Step 2: You’ve looked and looked and ogled and ogled and you CAN’T FIND ANYTHING INTERESTING on her! Maybe like most guys, you just don’t observe detail. No worries. Be brave and approach the host (if it’s a party) or her friend (when she goes to the bathroom). Most friends will sportingly play along and give you an introduction, and probably leave you two alone. Don’t just ask for her name, say something like this “Hey, this friend of yours looks familiar, I just can’t put a name to her face. And what’s she doing again?” The gist is to milk as much information as you can about her, just enough to start a decent conversation. The friend will probably answer something along these lines “Oh that’s Elizabeth Tan. She’s an accountant.” Then when your girl reappears, you can say something like “Hi you’re Elizabeth right? I heard from your friend you’re an accountant. The economy is doing great, so you must be having a fantastic time right?” and so on, you get the idea.

Step 3: I’d say this is a risky option, or rather, a last ditch, desperate attempt to know that elusive girl. Say, she is talking with a group of people. She isn’t wearing anything interesting, the party host can’t be located, and you can’t isolate any of her friends. What do you do? Go close to the group of friends and listen to what they are talking about. For example, they are talking about exotic holiday locations. Wait for the right opportunity, then edge in and say “Sorry, I couldn’t help but overhear what you were talking about. I’m actually going to the Cayman Islands next week. Any suggestions?” Sure, it will momentarily stun everyone, but it will definitely put YOU in the conversation, as well as give you the opportunity to talk to her. Remember, people recover much more quickly from shock in a group than when they are by themselves.

These are 3 simple ways that I have used at one point or another in my life to initiate conversation/approach someone I wanted to talk to. I guarantee it works 99% of the time. Furthermore, if you’re able to sustain a proper conversation, you should have no problem getting her number and meeting her up privately over a cup of coffee.

To the girls: Don’t hate me for this. Wouldn’t you rather be approached by educated males, eager to know more about you, than those who just stare at your legs with their mouth open wide? Wouldn’t you rather the man make the first move than yourself? Finally, 99.9% of you succumb to sweet talk whether you are conscious of it or not. Don’t you wish there were more guys who knew how to do it?

Maybe I’ll write on “how to sweet talk” next. In the meantime, guys, have fun practicing. Practice makes perfect.

hello goodbye hello goodbye...

2007-01-03T02:01:00.000+08:00

I wonder what your thoughts are as we enter a new year. I hope you have thoughts, because it is tragic to live life without looking back and reflecting, and then planning ahead for the future.

They say: Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die.

Actually, this is not an entirely appalling mentality at all. After all, we’re called to live as if each day were our last. But think about this way, after eating, drinking and partying all day and night, would you honestly die a happy death? Ask the hardcore clubbers whether they feel empty or not. Ask them if they’re proud of themselves! Ask them if they know where they’re going after they die! All is vanity!

The most screwed up part of this saying is that most of the time, we DON’T die the next day, because God is gracious enough to keep us breathing for another day. Then what happens? Because there is no more good food to eat, no more of the best wine to drink and absolutely nothing to be merry about. Therefore, my motto for 2007 is

Eat SHIT (work hard), in case we don’t die tomorrow.

My slogan emphasizes sustainability. It ensures continuity of events because 24 hours is way too short sometimes. In everything, being able to predict consequences is key because acting rashly and foolishly will only hurt oneself.

However, this does not mean hoarding one’s possessions and being selfish or aspiring to be a workaholic, but rather, being generous in distributing aid and love to people. I must add that this is NOT to be done to the extent that you forgo everything (that is awfully stupid) because each person has his own life to lead and you shouldn’t aim to dictate their actions and lives anyway.

God has blessed me with the best family in the world and many, many good friends. Sometimes, I think, too many. Nevertheless, I aim to be a better son and a better friend.

Someone also asked me if 2007 is the year I would get attached. To be honest, I really don’t know and I can’t be stuffed in any case. I suppose, after more that a year’s hiatus, anything is possible. But then again, it’s not as if 2006 was entirely opportunity-less for me. The Lord will guide me in His time. Quite simply, the more you look, the less you’re likely to find, because most (good) girls are not desperate. I’m perfectly happy enjoying close relationships with many girlfriends – which is currently the case.

All simple targets, but lots to fulfill and ponder over. So do chide me if I go overboard, as I often do.

May you all have a most blessed 2007. God be with you all.

Updates concerning me

2006-12-21T07:55:00.000+08:00

Lots and lots have happened and I have not been diligently updating my blog. I admit that, yes, I am a meticulous person, especially as far as outward appearances are concerned. I run all my entries through a spell check and re-read them before they appear on cyberspace. I will not blog nonsense (not to me at least) or blog for the sake of blogging, nor leave random cryptic, one-liner posts such as “She asked me out, I nearly died”.

Life has been a whirlwind since I landed on Raffles Island. The first week was generally spent catching up on home/housekeeping affairs as well as keeping mum accompany (since I’m a filial son and knows how much she misses me… muahaha) because deep down, I’m a mummy’s boy. Like what viv says “strong on the outside, but sensitive deep down”. Oh well, I guess a balance of both is good huh?

I started work the second week – a brand new challenge that I hated initially. Now, the banal routine of work and more work occupies my mind constantly. Not to mention I escape meeting up people I don’t want to meet up with “work” as a simple, yet truthful excuse. That is not to say I hate my friends and don’t desire to see them nor that I’ve not met anyone up yet. I have – just my closer friends save the Melbourne gang. I’ve yet to go through the rounds, but with Christmas around the corner and all that, it’s getting increasingly difficult to arrange any organised group outing of more than 5 people. Christmas parties are another thing however… Great chance to catch up with one’s extended network plus further extend that network. In case you don’t quite get what I mean, read between the lines, it’s a chance to know more members of the opposite sex. Sneaky eh?

Speaking of which, there’s this well-dressed chick (for lack of a more respectful word) I’m always bumping into within my workplace area. I know we don’t work for the same company nor in the same building, so why our paths would coincide so often baffles me. Nonetheless, she appears to be in her mid-20s, probably slightly older than me. She is quite a looker too I must add. I noticed her one day at lunch giving “the look”, meaning the “more than 2 second requisite glance”. In fact, it was a good 10 second stare. Knowing me, I stared back. Obviously, it didn’t take much longer for our eyes to meet again. I looked away deliberately, playing coy, or acting the “blushing feminine part” you could say. Trust me, it’s not something a real man should do – looking away is a definite no-no. Even if you aren’t interested, you must always make the chick look good by acknowledging her attraction. I did it so as to provoke a reaction from her, although none came. Not yet at least. We crossed paths about 4 times the past 2 days and have progressed to silent nods and smiles. No conversation yet, but that will come when I think of a way to exfoliate her shell. Then I’ll tell her I’m going off to Melbourne in February… haha… I’m evil I know – even unconsciously.

On a less frivolous note, it made me tremendously happy to witness the baptisms/confirmation of my sister and 3 other good friends. It just goes to show that God answers prayers – my prayers. Not that baptism guarantees a place in heaven, but it is a symbol of public declaration to the world, and to the devil that he/she is now one of Christ’s and therefore even though he/she shall face the devil’s fiery darts, God will finally deliver. It brings me great joy to know that both my sisters got baptised this year. Here’s to them: Well done on taking the first step, now seek to constantly affirm your salvation and not grow cold and passionless in the faith. Serve God and serve man and great shall your reward in heaven be.

I also turned an unremarkable 23 two days back. Thank you for all the people who remembered my birthday and sent their regards before my birthday, during my birthday and even the belated ones. Also to those who read this, realise they’ve forgotten and decide to sms me, don’t worry, I already understand. I’m absolute shit at remembering dates too. Special thanks to dear Dawn for being the first one to wish me a happy birthday. You were a day early my dear… haha. Also, many thanks to my dearest family for a whole smorgasbord of gifts. I am deeply privileged am I not?

Finally, God has granted me the opportunity to do my Masters of Architecture. I will most likely take up the offer, which means an extended half a year of study – not that I mind. Linette was the first person I told because she understands me well. She’s able to share my joy and look beyond my supposed spirit of superiority/bragging like most plebeians would be tempted to think.

That should end it for now. One overriding thought – the mercies of the Lord never ceases, His blessings never come to an end. Oh, who is like you, oh Lord?

Young at heart - or not??

2006-12-02T11:06:00.000+08:00

Recently, I’ve begun to be aware of the number of SERIOUS relationships among my close friends/contemporaries. Some have tied the knot, some have registered their marriage, some live together, some do everything together and some even have kids. Mostly, they have changed. No longer spunky and energetic, but mundane and burdened. And I ask myself, why do they bring this upon themselves? The yoke of having to support another human being is a phenomenal responsibility mind you! I suppose it’s because of LOVE. Yes, LOVE, the clichéd, 4-lettered, ill-defined malaise. They say it breaks some and makes some. I say it breaks everyone.

Many have simply said “oh you’re just jealous” or “grow up for heaven’s sake” and so on. Deep down, I know that can’t be true. Because remaining single is a choice I made. It’s a personal preference because studying right now, is the first priority. Serving God is part of parcel of my life anyway.

I wonder about kids, 14-15 years old in a “serious” relationship. I dismiss it as puppy love. But hey, 21 isn’t much older than 15 and lots of 21 year olds, and I mean the sane (non-shotgun) sort, are all tying the knot. Was it not fashionable for our grandparents to get married at 18-22 - the most “marketable” age? It seems that cycle is repeating itself. What are the consequences? Increased divorce occurrences? Overpopulation? A further strain on the earth’s resources? I’m not sure.

So I ask myself: Am I ready for such a commitment? Am I ready to find a partner? Guess what? The answer is yes. BUT only if she fits into my plans. I know it sounds cruel and manipulative but let’s face it, I wouldn’t give up a H1 just to cook for my girlfriend unless she’s got exams. It just doesn’t make sense. I wouldn’t save up money to buy her a car for example. At least not NOW! Maybe I’m just being me, cavalier and arrogant. Some say no, I’m just being childish. Really? Trust me, I’m not as stupid as I look. I play my cards well and I’ve more experience than many others. Just because you have a boyfriend/girlfriend now, doesn’t mean you will have one the next day. Life changes like the patterns in a kaleidoscope. Each day is beautiful yet different, but you never know what pattern you’ll get.

For those of you in relationships, treasure them, don’t be complacent. Work daily on them, but never forsake your friends or your family. Because you think you know everything about your partner. But truth be told, sometimes even the one closest to you is nothing but a player in life’s masquerade.

As for myself, I’ve been through enough to know that being in a relationship has its ups and down. One day, it’s the best feeling in the world, the next day, it’s the worst. I’ll rather not have that thank you very much. Life’s security and predictability mean more to me.

BUT

Isn’t this just another day? Another of Jon’s famous life’s theories? Because tomorrow, I just might meet the angel of my life, and all rational will fly out of the window. Not to mention, this post would be history wouldn’t?

when life fucks up on you

2006-11-20T12:36:00.000+08:00

I wonder how I can sing "Jesus, how great thou art" in church one day and scream "Fuck this shit" the very next day. I'm such a horrible hypocrite it worries me. It probably worries me even more that others don't see themselves as hypocrites. Stupid people worry me.. especially stupid friends whom I love.

Sometimes, I think life can be nothing but a pain in the arse.

Sometimes, I think mission trips can be nothing but a farce - personal enjoyment, masked religion.

Sometimes, I think guys walk girls home because they want nothing else than to get inside their pants.

Sometimes, I think Sigmund Freud is right, the world is made of sex.

Sometimes, I wonder why I try to walk the straight and narrow road.

Sometimes, I wonder why bother if I'm going to fail anyway.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dated the Post Office lady and the Don Don girl in the past week. I'm stressed - needed a break from studying. Both dates turned out to be really bad, disgusting might be a better word. It goes to show that looks aren't everything.

Not particularly looking forward to going home either. Who gives a shit about Singapore girls, satay and stingray when I have to work the next 3 months?

Dear God, don't save the queen, save me.

mmmmm...

2006-11-14T16:39:00.000+08:00

The best girl in Melbourne.. (from time to time that is.. when I'm not in and out of relationships.. hahahaha). Time flies, 7 years already. Seems like I've known you for ages and ages.

Be good.. invite me to your wedding soon. *hugs*

a porno addict... -_-

2006-11-04T15:23:00.000+08:00

wow.. I realised I haven't blogged for over a month. Anyhow, thanks to those who faithfully (though in vain) check back for updates. hahaha...

It's the exam period so for crying out loud, cut me some slack. I've just completed ALL assignments and projects and am left with 2 exams to study for. Life is certainly looking up. boo hoo!! I've compiled (actually yet to do so) a list of 10 things which happened throughout the last month where I've MIA-ed. Updates later.

Actually, the real reason for this entry is because I'm in BABEllieu library studying. Next to me, there's this asian dude with weird long hair and black leather boots surfing for porno. Not only that, he's also saving them into his portable hard drive as well. AND he's been at it for 2 hours or more - on broadband not dial up mind you!! Not to mention the girls he's gawking at are all damn fugly, as are all nude women. BAD TASTE wankerrrrr...!

P/S Its already 8.14pm. The dick has been surfing porn for more than 3 hours. WHY DOESN'T HE GET SICK OF IT? It's not fair!!!

PP/S The library closed at 9. He finshed surfing porn at 9. That's at least 4 hours of porn. He probably started earlier since I was only there at 5. I guess some people are just blessed with awesome stamina and unquenchable libido. That's STILL not fair!! I feel old now!!! :(

awwww...

2006-10-02T22:03:00.000+08:00

Take a look at this, the sweetest email I've ever received:

Can Ding Lean add you as a Friend?

Hi Jonathan,Ding Lean thinks you’re cute and gets a warm, fuzzy feeling at the slightest thought of you. In fact, Ding Lean likes you SO much that Ding Lean wants you to join the fun at ZEBO! This is a privilege bestowed upon only the truly deserving, and Ding Lean thinks you are worthy.

P.S. Please put some photos of yours as well. Ding Lean would be interested in seeing them.

You know what dude? That's nice, but's also bloody gay. eeee yeer!! Come to think of it, about a week ago, someone sent me an email saying they had a crush on me. Yeah, I bet its Ding again. Because you wouldn't want to risk trying it out on a girl you really have a crush on would you? Not unless you're willing to jeopardise a potential relationship. Easy way out: try it on your guy pals - because they will understand. Thankfully, I do (minus the eeee yeer factor).

Speaking of which this week has been an awfully weird week. I learnt that Shake Shake likes Pokemon too (just like me) and DIGImon (unlike me). AND I had a dream that she had magical powers and turned me into a turtle. This is probably also due to the fact that MSN is under a severe turtle-plague. Seriously, me a turtle?!! It doesn't get any better than this huh?

Also, my ebay account got suspended for some reason. Still, I got my latest pair of shoes - Hawaii Aloha DUNKS. Swwwweeet!!

Had a good conversation with mum the other day as well. Have to remind her that I still don't have a girlfriend and am not interested in getting one either. Although I reiterate that if the right girl comes along, my heart is open. It also occurs to me how stupidly desperate some guys are. They pick up girls ALL OVER THE PLACE. Poor girls... You know, its common sense really, the more desperate you are, the less likely you're gonna find anyone, because all the girls are going to be freaked out! I really don't see the logic of chasing and chasing after a particular female. Don't you have anything else to do with your life?

"Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and ALL THESE THINGS will be added unto you."

Yes, girls included. Keep looking, getting your priorities wrong, failing your exams and all you'll end up with is SHIT. Girls don't like stupid men (just in case you're not smart enough to know).

Ronaldinho

2006-09-27T04:06:00.000+08:00

Something I'm proud of. My favourite painted figure to date. Whooo hooo!!!!! Go and bid if you're tempted to. I think this will fetch 20 pounds easily. ka chinggggg :p

FAT chicks...

2006-09-19T22:11:00.000+08:00

I’m such a wanker.

I was just watching Today Tonight on Channel 7 when I realised how superficial I am. Research showed a fat lady (size 24) and a normal sized lady (size 12) performing everyday tasks. The normal sized lady is treated, well normally, whilst the fat person is discriminated against, bearing the brunt of cruel stares and people who plain ignore her. Especially men.

It's true that fat people are discriminated against. The scary thing is that nearly half of all Australians are obese. The way I see it, even the size 12 chick is obese. I don’t actually recall specifically ignoring/marginalising fat people or staring at them. Although I do acknowledge that I’m quite totally disgusted. My dad actually sniggers and laughs behind their back. I am ashamed that I see women in that light, but I don’t know how I can change. If men are wired that way, then it would require a hell of a lot of character to want to get to know any fat girl better. No, I’ve never taken the initiative to speak to someone fat, nor tried to know that person any better than on the surface. I just don’t see myself doing it. I can try, and have tried, but polite conversation is about as far as it goes.

I know most, if not ALL girls like to play each other up. When I ask about their friends, they always say their friend is “hot”. I’ve learnt not to trust women’s judgment in that aspect because most of the time, “hot” equals “shit”. I suppose women are jealous of each other as well. “Hot” might be a sarcastic term. Honestly, there are very few “hot” women around because “hot” is so subjective. But most of the “hot” girls I know are actually acquired tastes. “Hot”-ness isn’t dependant solely on physical appearance (that is termed “screwability”), but on the entire package. From the way she walks to the way she sips water. Yes, girls, you’ll be surprised at how close you’re being observed sometimes. That said, for a fat girl to obtain “hot” status is quite an impossibility. Conversely, a slightly above average looking girl has a significantly higher chance of achieving that “hot” status.

There is no fixed formula for me which determines how “hot” a girl is. Some girls just look better doing things than others. Different activities suit different chicks (e.g. the girly sort and the sporty sort), but they can all be “hot”. Over the years, I’ve come to realise the girls that blow you away at first glance are usually the “hottest” but then they lose their appeal very quickly. The best chicks are the ones who are nice to look at, but their personality and charisma elevates them above the “hot” status. And the good thing is that, the latter is more common and more easily attainable – I suppose.

My thoughts are rather jumbled. I guess the point I want to make is that fat women don’t tickle my fancy at all; highly unlikely, even in a 100 years. I may sound like a bastard, but ask yourself whether this is how you feel deep down.

Speaking of which, a “hot” chick is coming to visit me. Yup, Miko’s going to be here for a few days – till Saturday I think.

AND she’s a size 6.

Ebayyyyy

2006-09-16T04:03:00.000+08:00

Newly listed figures on ebay... Please take a look, something might just tickle your fancy. HERE.

Or you can use the link on the right hand side.

BUY BUY BUY!!

Support me, so I can buy more shoes!! (I can imagine Sin Wei and Harsha rolling their eyes... lol :D)

Nike Dunks Day!!

2006-09-15T12:25:00.001+08:00

Man... I am SO pissed off the 56k connection!!! I've lost countless ebay auctions because of that!! And today, I should have won another pair of Nike Mexico Dunks SB. Urrrgh!!!

Speaking of which, I have accquired 2 pairs of sneakers in the last month. I know I need a pair of new shoes, but this sudden passion for buying shoes is quite surprising. I now have a pair of De La Souls and a pair of Paul Rodriguez Zoom Air Elites. Also, while shopping with Yan Tyng on Wednesday, she reinforced the fact that I'm a brand conscious freak. I won't buy any other shoes even though they look similar. No fakes and no B-grade products, only the REAL thing. The secret to shopping is obvious: Look for the bargains. Big brands at small prices - that's the way to shop. Most of the time, say you buy a fake jersey that costs you $45, for just $25 more, you can get the real thing. Or, wait 2 months down the road, it might actually cost $45 too!! On Wednesday (retail therapy day), I got:

1. Adidas Japan WC2006 jersey - $40 (original price $120)
2. Zoo York Polo Tee - $30 (original price $70)
3. Mod Kulture Pink Long Sleeved Stripe shirt - $20 (original price $80)

This takes the total savings to a massive $180, meaning that I effectively had a 66% discount on all items. Now that's not too bad.

Back to the sneakers, they aren't going to last long however, because they are selling for about 1.5 times the price which I got them for, which means I'm probably going to sell them and make a quick buck. Heh heh, I've got my eyes on a pair of Nike Dunk SB Ginoblis which I hope to buy using the profit. Do I sound sneaky or what (pardon the pun)? Then again, maybe I just sound like a girl. Because guys don't go retail therapy-ing and a lot of guys also can't give a shit about their personal grooming, then they ask why they're so unattractive. Duh!!

P/S Sheralyn thinks I'm gay... man, I'm so flattered
PP/S Denise, you're the only one who understands Nike Dunks.. sympathize with me ya? lol :p

Singapore Trinity

2006-09-03T16:07:00.000+08:00

I have been neglecting my blog more and more.. not that I don't feel like blogging anymore. Just that I've been bogged down. Not necessarily by work, but more of keeping myself busy. Basketball, birthdays, bible studies and all things "b". No girls.. don't worry.

A joke I heard yesterday from kenneth. Singapore is ruled by Lee Hsien Loong (mai hum), Lee Kuan Yew and Goh Chok Tong right? Yup, the Father, Son and Holy Goh.. muahahahaha!!!

Meanwhile a picture of yesterday's yum cha.. yummmmmmy!!!!

:(

2006-08-18T23:20:00.000+08:00

Have been so busy its crazy.. ugh!!!

meanwhile, you guys keep me sane.. love ya all!!

How honest are you?

2006-08-01T13:46:00.000+08:00

In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act - George Orwell

Yes. This is true, to a large extent I feel. Not just speaking the truth, but being deeply convinced of the truth. How many times have you told a girl she looks gorgeous without actually meaning it? How many times have you pretended to be interested in someone’s life? How many times have you convinced yourself that lies are right? That buying pirated software is correct for example?

I admit I’m sorely lacking in such principles. I would like to call myself a man of integrity. Yeah, I’m not so bad. I read the Bible, I lead Bible study, I don’t steal, I don’t spew vulgarities and so on. BUT I don’t exactly like to read the Bible, I have thought about stealing, I have thought about murdering, I have thought lustfully about women (girlfriends included) and I have cursed under my breath. And that is as good as performing the very action itself.

The tongue is a dangerous thing, the mind is even more so. Which makes you wonder how on earth Jesus kept Himself pure. Not that I doubt it, just that I can only be further awed by the fact. It is only now I realize my destitute situation, the dire straits I’m in. For all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). I haven’t just fallen short; I’m no where near, no bloody where near. And that scares me. Many a time I have wept on my knees, feeling sorry for my pathetic state, only to continue pursuing personal pleasure, carnal gratification.

Oh! When will I learn?

When will you learn?

When will WE learn?

Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain? - Stained Glass Masquerade

On a clear Saturday...

2006-07-25T12:54:00.000+08:00

I don’t think it’s an exaggeration if I said that Saturday 220706 was the best day of my summer vacation. Do you not know how long I have waited for that day? Oh, the eager anticipation! It had all the hallmarks of an epic comedy chase. The initial denial followed by an inevitable disgruntled complication, finally closing on a sweet note. By sweet, I mean tasteful – full of integrity.

I genuinely believe she is unique. Outstanding in her own way. Sparkling with radiance. Mature beyond her years. Of course, there are the frivolous tendencies, but these plague 70 year old grandmothers too, so I can’t complain. Lunch at a claustrophobic café was all of a sudden exalted. The food was much better than I thought. Much, much better. But then again, “it’s the company that matters” so she says. As we basked in the openness of conversations, I felt the inner me glowing ardently, my barriers dissolving, and possibly hers too (I would have liked to think).

But… snap back to reality, all good things must come to an end. I wish 3pm that day lasted forever. I wish I had prayed that God would lengthen time, prolong the little time we have together.

Please don’t get me wrong, I am not heartbroken. Hell no, I am not as shallow as that thank you very much. Even as I write, I smile. Because I understand that life has to move forward. The less time we have, the more we shall cherish each and every moment. And while it is true that all good things must come to end, there is always the assurance that it will happen again. Not too long in the future.

But for now, hush hush, because keeping focused on our priorities is paramount. While I focus on my studies here, so shall you back home. Let not ourselves be distracted, so that the fruit of our reward will be greater.

**************************************************************************

Meanwhile, I’m back in Melbourne, where the air is cool and the stress is mounting. I think I have set too high a standard for myself. But if you don’t aim for the moon, how shall you attain the stars? Back to grinding board, but let’s go!!!

Life is beautiful. God is good. :)

The Lady in Red

2006-07-17T13:36:00.000+08:00

I've never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight
I've never seen you shine so bright
I've never seen so many men ask you if you wanted to dance
Looking for a little romance

I have never seen that dress you're wearing
Or the highlights in your head that catch your eyes

I have been blind

I've never seen you looking so gorgeous as you did tonight
I've never seen you shine so bright you were amazing
I've never seen so many people want to be there by your side
And when you turned to me and smiled, It took my breath away
I have never had such a feeling
Such a feeling of complete and utter love, as I do tonight
The way you look tonight
I never will forget, the way you look tonight

Lingerie - How does that help?

2006-07-13T17:28:00.000+08:00

How predictable are Chinese soaps??

1. Story starts off with a lovey dovey couple. The guy is usually one of those who works his arse off in an office and doesn’t see his girl much. The girl is usually pretty but lonely.

2. The relationship becomes strained because there isn’t much quality time between the two.

3. One day, the girl meets a stranger (who is usually young, daring, dons leather jackets, rides a fast bike, wears sunglasses and has a nasty scar on his face) whom she is totally enthralled with.

4. The girl starts to cheat on her partner by secretly dating Mr. Dangerous. He is flattered and flirts around with her.

5. Things start to get more serious. Mr. Busy realises his girl isn’t really his girl anymore, so he confronts her and discovers Mr. Dangerous is in reality, rather dangerous.

6. Both confront each other. It usually doesn’t get violent because they’re both gentlemen really.
7. Girl gets confused because of her initial adultery and realisation of how stupid she was.

8. Both men are SO sweet to her (because they want a shag) and she cries in bed (hugging a pink soft toy).

9. Finally she decides to write letters to both men. She rejects Mr. Dangerous because he came in at the wrong time in her life. After all, she feels obligated to remain loyal to Mr. Busy.

10. Mr. Dangerous is so devastated he smashes a vase on the ground (which cuts his big toe) and bangs his head on a wall.

11. Mr. Busy receives the letter and is ecstatic. He buys a bloody big bouquet of flowers and goes to the girl’s place for dinner with a big smile (maybe anticipating a shag).

12. He dies on the way to her place in some unintelligible manner. The airbag malfunctions.

13. Mr. Dangerous gets his girl in the end. Everyone is happy except for the dead loser.

Moral of the story: Nice guys finish last.

There is a good lesson to learn actually. Because guys shouldn’t be nice all the time. Guys shouldn’t be the one doing the hard work all the time. Girls appreciate that, especially in today’s modern context of equality of sexes and pro-feminism and what not. Girls want their freedom too, their fair share of infidelity and controversy. Chivalry is not spoon feeding.

The trick to being an attractive male is to have a balance of both. Be sensitive and understanding when you have to be, otherwise remain cool. Too much both ways and you shoot yourself in the foot, or you lose the admiration of the girl. Always give the girl time – to think, ask her friends, sleep on it etc. Respect her decision whatever it may be, don’t rush anything but be gentle, yet firm. Patience is an art not easily mastered. Because it is human nature to “seize the iron while it’s hot”, meaning pushing one’s luck till it disappears over the edge.

*****************************************************

On the 13th of August 2005, I blogged about a date with Ms. Anonymous. I don’t think anyone will recall or can be bothered to do so. Anyhow, I went out with her again (I use the term “went out” because I find that I use “date” way too often and it scares girls away). She was still glowing and glorious-looking. We had a relaxing night of good wine (veuve clicquot) and flashy fine-dining, albeit a little out-of-point, and mega costly. As it turns out, she finally left her good-for-nothing other half, and that explained the carefree spirit 2 nights ago.

She’s a sports analyst for a local newspaper (in case you didn’t know) so we had an incredible time talking about the World Cup, and she getting all passionate about Zizou’s sending off. I told her it was bad for little kids around the world that Zidane headbutted Materazzi. She responded by saying that Materazzi wasn’t a good example himself because he was full of tattoos and that is bad for kids too. I replied by saying she had a butterfly tattooed on her butt. She retorted by saying she’s an “exception”. You never win with women like that. It gets pointless once reason goes out the window, only to be replaced by hot emotion.

As per our msn agreements prior to my return to Singapore, we exchanged lingerie. I got her a La Perla 2-piece and she got me a pair of CK boxers. So we tried them on back at her place later than night. That sneak bought me a size too small on purpose (I know because I lost weight) so I refused to let her see them. Not that she’s really missing out on anything. But she looked absolutely stunning in hers. Then again, $5 pasar malam panties would also do the trick. Pretty girls look good in any darn thing. Call me insane, but I’d prefer a woman in t-shirt and jeans any day to lingerie. *shrugs*

Provided she’s pretty.

Sexual turn ons...

2006-07-05T01:52:00.000+08:00

Assuming you’re male, and by that I mean heterosexual i.e. straight. What’s your sexual turn on?

I’m sure for some it would be boobs. There are lots of boob-guys around. Or are you an ass-guy? Or a legs-guy? I believe I’m a legs-guy. I admire nice, tan legs. I’m definitely not a boob-guy. Oh, I’m a hair-guy too. I love women with nice, long, wavy hair. I would sum up by concluding that I am a whole package-guy, meaning someone who looks (or tries at least) at a woman in her totality, in her richness of being, before drawing any conclusion.

Subconsciously, I also realised I’m a soccer-guy. I like girls who like what I like. This means I like girls who like soccer and also check out other girls. However, I’m led to believe that the latter is rather common (strangely, considering straight men don’t check out other men). This World Cup has got some of my lady friends fired up and ever ready for a verbal joust at whoever will listen to their rantings – much like me I’m afraid.

This avro saw me at Simply Toys at Far East Plaza. As usual I was browsing through my figures when lo and behold, there appeared before me 2 Japanese girls, also looking at the figures. I was pleasantly surprised (like I always am when a girl likes Corinthians) because they were both charming creatures. And since I don’t have a girlfriend and haven’t had one for a long time, I decided to talk to them. Mind you if I DID have a girlfriend, I wouldn’t do such a thing.

1. I couldn’t pick someone they liked. That would kill conversation. You need to disagree for a conversation to function. So I had to intentionally think of the ugliest, dumbest footballer around – David Beckham.

2. I should not appear extremely knowledgeable about these figures (even though I am), because that would mean I’m trying to show off and place myself above them.

3. I should appear to support Japan, because Japanese are fiercely loyal towards their team.

4. I should not attempt to speak Japanese, because they might roll their eyes at me.

5. Just as much as I would like to speak to them, I must still remain non-committal and flippant. Giving too much of oneself early on gives the game away.

And all these I thought of in a matter of 2 seconds, since one generally has to strike while the iron is hot. We don’t live in Japan you know?

Jon: Are you looking for Beckham figures?
Girls: No.
Jon: Oh… forgive me for saying this. I thought Japan is in love with Beckham.
Girls: (giggling) No, this World Cup he’s not playing very well.
Jon: Yeah of course. He’s not a very good player. Just good looking. Who are you looking for than?
Girls: Frank Lampard.
Jon: (thinks to himself: Lampard?? What the hell? He’s having an even worse World Cup than Beckham!!!)
(outwardly smiling) Ah yes… Lampard. He’s a good player. Can shoot from long range.
Girls: (nodding enthusiastically) Can you find a Lampard figure?
Jon: No. Not in this shop. You can in other shops though.
Girls: Oh where??
Jon: La Vanita at Peninsula Plaza.
Girls: Is it far away?
Jon: Yes. You have to take a bus there. Or an MRT.
(Note: These aren’t the exact words the girls said because they spoke in Japlish – Japanese English. In other words, shit English.)

Well, to cut the long story short, the three of us spent a nice afternoon looking for stupid Lampard figures. Oh, they also liked Gerrard, Henry and Del Piero. Altogether, we picked up nearly 20 different figures (all for very reasonable prices due to my haggling) which made them very happy indeed. I later discovered that these pretty girls are cousins and have been collectors for about 2 years. They’re here for holiday by themselves and fly off in a couple of day’s time. They offered to take me out for dinner but I refused because firstly, I gradually became angry I had wasted the afternoon away, secondly, it was difficult having to constantly decipher what they were chattering about in their high pitch voices and thirdly, I was going out for dinner anyway.

Nevertheless, it pleased me, in a very shallow way, to know that I could carry out a conversation with perfect strangers and endear myself to them. No wait, not just strangers. But Japanese strangers – to be more specific, hot Japanese girls who are quite the package deal.

2006-07-01T02:18:00.000+08:00

BLOODY GERMANS!!!!

AS AN ARGENTINIAN FAN, I WOULD HATE YOU.
AS A NEUTRAL, I WOULD HATE YOU MORE.
AS A GERMAN FAN, I WOULD HATE YOU THE MOST.

HOW OBVIOUS IS IT THAT THE FREAKING REFEREE WAS BRIBED? HOW DID HE GIVE A YELLOW CARD FOR DIVING WHEN IT WAS IN REALITY A LEGITIMATE PENALTY CALL??? THIS IS A TRAVESTY. I HOPE BECKENBAUER ROTS IN HELL FOR THIS, AS WELL AS THE WHOLE GERMAN FOOTBALL ASSOCIATION.

YOU'RE A BLOODY DISGRACE TO FOOTBALL!!!!

memememememe

2006-06-24T16:50:00.000+08:00

In response to a thingy that Kat and Khai have posted for me. About me.

It’s pretty simple. I’ll do one for you if you leave a comment. Just leave a smiley or a word or two. If you just stumbled upon this by mistake, obviously I can’t do it, cos I don’t know you. I can’t leave you a fake one, depending on my mood. I’ll either make you sound really good, or bitch you to pieces.

KAT:
1. I’ll respond with something random about you
YES HOLIDAYS YES!!!!!! oh. about you ah. dunno leh. HOLIDAYS!!!!

Yup.. very random kat. Extremely…

2. I’ll challenge you to try something
dye your hair blue

Did that before. For your sake, I’ll do it next semester. hehe

3. I’ll pick a colour that I associate with you
brown. cos of your hair.

Hmmm.. interesting. I was born with black hair. That will soon change.

4. I’ll tell you something I like about you
your openness. like the way you commented on my blog even though you didn't know me v well. most people would be too scared to do that. :)

Flattered. Thanks.

5. I’ll tell you my first/clearest memory of you
choosing grapes at lygon court safeway wearing your [blue?] funorama t-shirt!

The shirt was pink btw. I remembered you and YM too. You were wearing navy blue trackies with a WHITE STAR on your bum. And you said you were from Raffles. I gave you a disapproving look. Remember??

6. I’ll tell you what animal you remind me of
alamak. i'm really bad at this. panda?

You long to punch my 2 eyes don’t you?

7. I’ll ask you something I’ve always wanted to ask you
who's miko?

An ex. Japanese-American. Erm.. what else do you want to know?? Haha

8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your blog
cheers!

KHAI:
1. I'll respond with something random about you
Japanese fried rice

?????????

2. I'll challenge you to try something
wear long pants to OCF and announce it in a loud voice

C’mon.. I’m not THAT bad. I wear long pants once in a while. When I don’t have a choice.

3. I'll pick a colour that I associate with you
Blue - for the jersey you wear =)

Oh yeah.. Come on JAPAN!!!!! NIPPPPONNNNNN!!!!

4. I'll tell you something I like about you
interesting way with words

Again.. I’m flattered. Thanks!

5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you
you had dyed hair and were beating the crap out of us at basketball around the corner from here

Not really. Not if Vut was there. :)

6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of
a monkey. sorry man =)

It’s the nick isn’t?? Arrrgh!

7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you

Gosh I don't know - I don't expect much of you at all =PHow about when will our BS group go to a place other than the gardens for a social?

8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your blog
Yay~

Just for the fun of it..
Singapore is SO hot!!! Unbearable!!!

Bon Voyage

2006-06-21T09:55:00.000+08:00

I'm flying off now... like right now. After I post this, I shall fold up my lappie, stuff it into the bag and hail a cab to the airport. I'm excited to be going home, to see Dad, Mum and Jie and Na.. who hoo!!!! And of the course the lots of lovely girls at home. AND boys. :)

*************************************************************

Celebrated dear Ms. Choy's birthday day before yesterday. I get the feeling she expected it though she denies. *shakes head disapprovingly* Well to her: Stay sweet and enjoy your hols. We'll do it all over again next semester.

I'm not enjoying the World Cup so much anymore. Do you remember Ronaldo's goal in the 2002 World Cup Final? Where he had the stupid haircut? I do. And worse still, I remember it vividly. That just means that it wasn't a long time ago. But guess what? I'll be 27 the next World Cup. 27!!! 27!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Australia vs Japan (120606 . 2230hrs)

2006-06-12T20:30:00.000+08:00

The World Cup is upon us! The biggest sporting event in the world! Bigger than the Olympics and bigger than the Champions League.

Today Australia faces Japan in what will prove (I hope) to be a cracker of a match. No points for guessing who I’m rooting for. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I hate Australia, and it’s not that I’m not grateful to Melbourne for my education and my friends. It’s just that when it comes to sport, Australia pisses me off. When victorious, they claim all the glory. When they go down, they blame the opposition, the field, the referee but never themselves. Oh the pride, the arrogance, the conceit, the haughtiness and I could go on and on. What’s worse is that they condone such behaviour. They promote it. They say its passion, its zeal, its fervour, its ardour. I say its complete bullshit. Soccer is a gentleman’s game - almost a non-contact sport. People worldwide come to see

the elegance of Figo,
the creativity of Zidane,
the coolness of Henry,
the power of Van Nistelrooy,
the trickery of Ronaldinho,
the enthusiasm of Messi,
the skill of Beckham,
the speed of Robben,
the flair of Totti,
the heart of Drogba…

We come to see Joga Bonito, the art of playing sexy football.

Not a bunch of thugs sliding around the pitch with the sole intention of injuring others when they realised they’ve lost the game. Australia should continue with the barbaric sports they’re so good at. Rugby, Australian Rules Football and God knows what.

Leave our beautiful game alone. Shoo!

How sexy am I?

2006-06-05T15:56:00.000+08:00

Couldn't resist posting this:

Architects are sexiest

What’s wrong with being sexy?

Architects have been voted the sexiest male professionals in a survey of women’s ideal partners.

The survey, conducted by the introduction agency Drawing Down the Moon, found that women favoured architects “due to the esteem associated with the profession”.

Architects are seen as being “balanced and rounded individuals who combine a creative approach with a caring, thoughtful disposition”, the survey found. It concluded: “Their ability to cope with pressure of work in a relaxed manner was also deemed to be a significant plus.”

Male architects beat stockbrokers, doctors, film directors and teachers on the top spot.

However female members of the profession fared less well and did not feature in the top 10 out of male preferences.

RIBA president David Rock commented that architects were probably unaware of their animal magnetism: “Architects were probably the only group on the list whose self-image is lower than their public image”, he said, but added: “Mind you, you have to question the veracity of any list that includes drama teachers”.

RIBA Architecture Gallery director Alicia Pivaro, who is married to architect Paul Monaghan, said she thought male architects were highly attractive: “Being married to the architecture’s Mr Sexy, I would have to agree.”

But she was surprised at the failure of women architects to appear on the list. “All the ones I know are very sexy”, she said.

Men instead voted PR executives the sexiest profession for females, followed by actresses and journalists.

This article has breathed life into my studies, it is given me a new meaning to life. Finally, finally, here is the reward of 6 years of pain and hardship. The light at the end of tunnel. The reward. The prize. The recognition... okay. That's crap. I would like to think that the article is true to a large extent. I don't know how sexy male architects really are, since most of my female friends aren't of that age to make proper judgment. But I hey, I don't mind. Not at all. :)

No offence to my architecture buddies, but seriously female architects don't do it for me. I look at Zaha Hadid and go SHHHeeeesH... nah, I hope I don't hook up an architect. I've no idea why PR executives are the most popular. Maybe its the power suit and the alluring voice on the phone. I do have an inclination towards power-suited females. Japanese ones in particular. Definitely not actresses and journalists though. Tried a journalist before and totally disliked her.

I don't like loud, energetic girls who frolic around and scream and giggle. I like classy women. Not necessarily high-maintenance per se, but elegant and dignified. Another big turn off for me would be those who adore Japanese/Korean pop culture. For some reason, I'm just repelled by such girls.

Actually, I would prefer a doctor right now. No particular reason, except that medical students always seem to be more attractive. Smart, witty and intelligent. Oh and pretty too. Much better than the overrated arts and commerce departments.

bitterness...

2006-06-02T04:47:00.000+08:00

"I want -- I want somehow to get away with you into a world where words like that -- categories like that -- won't exist. Where we shall be simply two human beings who love each other, who are the whole of life to each other; and nothing else on earth will matter"

She drew a deep sigh that ended in another laugh.

"Oh, my dear -- where is that country? Have you ever been there?" she asked; and as he remained sullenly dumb she went on: "I know so many who've tried to find it; and believe me, they all got out by mistake at wayside stations: at places like Boulogne, or Pisa, or Monte Carlo -- and it wasn't at all different from the old worlds they'd left, but only rather smaller and dingier and more promiscuous."

- The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton

Choleric?!

2006-05-30T00:22:00.000+08:00

You Have a Choleric Temperament

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things.Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life.You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation.
You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon.Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall.You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others.
At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults.Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion.A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.

A rather accurate description of myself I guess. I don't wish to be a misanthrope however, it's not a very good thing.

Chatted with her on MSN. Nothing brings a bigger smile. Curly wirlies or not.

The Sweet and the Silly

2006-05-24T00:34:00.000+08:00

You've heard them all. The Bold and the Beautiful. The Young and the Restless. Yes, those crappy daytime soaps. Well, my weekend was all about the Sweet and the Silly. More sweet things naturally, but the odd clanger which left me slamming my head on the wall.

The Sweet

I got this note from a certain Melissa. No real idea who she is, except that she used to be the previous tenant of my current apartment. All I did was forward her mails to her and bingo, she rewards me with a little note and a Crunchie. No wait, a GIANT SIZE Crunchie!! That’s good enough to brighten anyone’s day. Not so much the chocolate, but the novelty of receiving something out of the blue. Thanks babe (whoever you are)!!!

The note and the Crunchie

Kenneth also came a-knocking my door on Sunday to pass me this slice of cheesecake, which he conjured all by himself. Check out the jelly on the top!! Never seen anything like this before, and it tastes well wicked!! Heard from him today that it is really healthy, as in low in fat. I seriously doubt that but well, food has to be eaten doesn’t?

Ken's patented jelly cheesecake

The Silly

This must have been the dumbest, dumbest thing I’ve ever done in my life.

I went to the lab at uni late to print out my presentation on the A3 printers. It must have been about 1am when I was done. On the way back to College Square, I thought I saw the silhouette of someone familiar. “Ahhh Sin Wei...” I thought to myself. Why would she be out alone so late in the cold? It never crossed my mind that she was already back in the rural areas.

So I approached her from the back and whispered
“Don’t you know that girls shouldn’t be walking alone by themselves so late at night?”

She swung around. Horror of horrors, it wasn’t Sin Wei!! Nope! It wasn’t!! She turned out to be a complete stranger. I was totally stunned. Paralyzed. I froze. Man! I still get goosebumps typing this out. I apologized repeatedly. She didn’t seem terribly fazed by the whole thing. In fact, she complemented me on a “good pick-up line” and that she “had never experienced anything like that before”. She seriously thought I was trying to pick her up (despite my shaken state). Can you believe that? We ended up chatting the way back home. I guess it was pleasant in a weird sense to have company at 1am. In any case, she turned out to be a really affable girl.

Yeah, I guess it wasn’t so bad after all. Definitely beats farting in a lift embarrassment-wise though.

That vomitish feeling...

2006-05-18T17:50:00.000+08:00

Have you ever looked at a picture and wondered “How the hell did I even love that person?” or “My goodness, she’s so ugly”??

I know it’s not the most edifying thought. In fact, it is a tad mean. Hell, it is VERY mean. I don’t get it. Love at its best “covers a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4v13) At its worst, it’s paranoid. I can like someone who treats me likes dirt, yet hate the one who has been by my side for such a long time.

As it is, I stumbled upon my ex’s picture on the internet. A whole album full of pictures. Initially, I was interested, having not seen her for quite some time. Mousing over the thumbnails, I scouted for the most attractive picture of her. I was so wrong. I felt nothing but bitter disgust when the full picture appeared. I scowled to myself. I snorted. I rolled my eyeballs. I swore. I felt so stupid. How could I have ever liked her?? In truth, how could I ever like anyone at this stage?

The heinously murderous “L” word - love. I used it today incidentally. On Felicity. But it’s true. I love her. I really do. Not in that way of course. But in all sincerity and seriousness of a good friend. What Jean said today is true… you should not use the “L” word loosely. Last night, I said “I Love You” as well. To God - when I was walking home at 1am in the cold. I looked up to heaven and said “I Love you God. Thank you for everything in my life”.

I don’t know where I’m going with this post. I should be concentrating on my work. But it’s just so immensely pressing – the sickening feeling of seeing someone you were once intimate with. And it was a photograph. Imagine if I saw her in real life, I don’t know what I would do.

Oh God! Help me love the people around me. Help me, God! :(

2006-05-09T12:41:00.000+08:00

She was like : Define Gorgeous.

And I was like : okay.

naturally beautiful. mmm... :)

Withdrawal symptoms of being Busy

2006-05-04T12:11:00.000+08:00

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says:
”The New Testament was completed within the span of a hundred years.” That’s what happens when you read commentaries. Haha…

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
Nothingness. A gnawing nothingness.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
This is embarrassing but it’s “Dr. Phil”. Geeeeee…

4. WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what time it is:
1.53pm

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
1.55pm.. not bad, not bad.

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The TV, the tram, typing on the keyboard.

7. When did you last step outside? what were you doing?
Bible Study leaders meeting last night. I was in a meeting thank you very much.

8. Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
Khai’s blog, Kat’s blog and Juwen’s blog.. d’oh

9. What are you wearing?
A stolen T-shirt, trackies, undies and deodorant

10. Did you dream last night?
Yes. A bit shy to share though. Too close for comfort

11. When did you last laugh?
Just now, while watching Dr. Phil. Some people let the dumbest things happen to them.

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
A window and a wardrobe.

13. Seen anything weird lately?
Sausages bleed oil. Disgusting…

14. What do you think of this quiz?
It’s rubbish.

15. What is the last film you saw?
Memoirs of a Geisha.. OH NOOO!!!!

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
Nothing. An NIV Bible.. NKJV makes people angry at me.

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know:
Who are you anyway?

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Make everyone believe in God.

19. Do you like to dance?
Yeah.. it’s pretty good stuff.

20. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? a boy?
Thought it about it with my exes before.. I’ve always like Evangeline and Jeremy. Depending on girl.. the names change. LOL

21. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Er.. I’m already living abroad. This is something about me you don’t know. :)

OCFCFC - 29th April 2006

2006-05-02T11:56:00.000+08:00

Last Sunday, the OCF centres conducted an Inter-OCF tournament. I was fortunate enough to play, let alone get the lucky no. 8.

Carlton 0 Parkville 1

We lost this game, albeit with a hint of controversy. Charles had handled inside the area and naturally we thought it was a penalty, so we stopped the game. Parkville played on because they was no whistle (for some reason) and scored against a static defence. We had a chance to redeem ourselves after Charles was tripped in the area. But the pressure told in the dying minutes and Ryan fluffed the shot.

I substituted myself early on in the game because I’m not an attacking sort of player and I felt we needed more oomph going forward. Turned out to be a good move I guess. Charles replaced me. Later I discovered that Renhaw was boss and I really shouldn’t have substituted myself since I did not have the rightful authority. Hahaha… Came on in the second half, made a few clearances and shackled their No. 12.

Carlton 0 Melb Uni 2

The first goal that Melb Uni scored was a freakish goal. It was an attempted cross into the area that somehow slipped under Khai’s goal. Reminds me of Ronaldinho versus David Seaman World Cup 2002. Freak, freak, freak!!!! Second goal was because of poor defending which led to a cross and an eventual sitter by one of their strikers. I came on late in the game and played in a slightly more attacking role. Got a few touches but not much impact. Really, I’m a crap soccer player. Give me basketball any day man! :(

Best Male Performer:

This has to go to my good friend Alvin Tjipto who captained the Parkville team. He was constantly running and turning opponents inside out. I heard he scored 2 set pieces against Melb Uni. Both free kicks. That’s a pretty big deal.

Carlton’s Best Male Performer:

Chris Jonatan hand’s down. He was commanding in defence and if we had Kay Weng fit as well, I don’t think we could have been broken down. Gavin also deserves a lot of credit after a solid defensive midfield display.

Best Female Performer:

Sarah. The girl from Melb Uni. She played an unbelievable 120 minutes consecutively. Fitter than most of the guys I reckon. Late on against Parkville, she was hacked in the shin pretty badly (shame on you boys.. tsk tsk).

Carlton’s Best Female Performer:

Well, I think all the girls did a good job, running around and distracting the other boys. Hehe :p I thought Kat and Sin Wei were particularly effective, running rings around the others. It would be better if the girls stayed in front and help orchestrate any form of attack with quick link up play. Okay, it may be a tall order against much stronger opponents, but quick touches and hard running will suffice. Poor Sin Wei did manage to land on her bum. I was pretty concerned but she picked herself up in a hurry van Nistelrooy style so I don’t think she was hurt at all. Later found out from her that it DID hurt. D’oh!!!

I shall not elaborate on worst performer because I’m most certain it will be myself. Melvin was telling me I’ve got to live up to the Number 8 I was wearing.

“C’mon Jon!! Lampard, Rooney, Ljungberg…”
Ugh, I think I’ll take a rubbish number in future. Too much pressure!

To conclude, everyone had lots of fun and we were there for the fellowship. I felt the love in the air and everyone was buzzing with excitement. Our Red jerseys made us look like the China National Team celebrating Chinese New Year in Chinatown with Chinese firecrackers. But happiness-wise, it was nearly as momentous. Can’t wait to don the Carltonian colours again. :)

Happy RED family

Don't mess with best cos the best Don't mess!!

MEEEEE doing something useless!!! Thanks Kat for the picture :)

hot as ginger are men

2006-04-25T21:40:00.000+08:00

I got myself a new pair of havaianas today.. dark maroon and really pretty. Whoo Hooo!!!

Last night, I had a good long chat with mum - about 2 hours long actually. Haven't talked to her for such a long time. She was being inquisitive as usual and asked me the good old question "Do you have a girlfriend now?" I told her I didn't because I couldn't spare the time for one, unless she was very understanding. To save a lecture, I explained it wasn't from a lack of opportunity, since I did have at least 2 interested parties in the last 9 weeks. I also told her I realised that the older men become, the more marketable they are.. This was her response. The wisest thing she's ever said in my 23 years on Earth.

Men are like ginger, the older they become, the hotter they are.

I couldn't stop laughing.. imagine this coming from MUM.. bwwahhhhh :D

The SUPERgroup

2006-04-22T22:49:00.000+08:00

This morning we had our second BS social at Carlton Gardens. Amidst the latecomers, squibbles and burying of shoes in rocks, I can't help but feel I'm so priviledged to serve God as the BS co-leader. I guess when I said I loved my group 6 weeks ago.. I REALLY meant it. :)

Me and the boys. The food was simply awesome!!

Argubly the best BS group

bhc - belgrave heights convention

2006-04-19T11:38:00.000+08:00

Belgrave was such a blast. The terrific fellowship, sermons and food. It’s strange how something so exhilarating can be so hard to put down in words.

I love everybody. In fact I did say "I love you" a couple of times - To the boys. Hahahahaha... They're all staying away from me now. Well, I love the ladies too of course. Man, I'm not thinking straight. This is coming out ALL wrong. Pictures speak a thousand words, so here goes.

Look at all the preeeetty people!!!!

The bunk that rocks my socks

Belgrave station - still in the mood

Playing "mafia" in the train

Dinner @ Norsiah's

PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW

Inexplicable

2006-04-13T08:41:00.000+08:00

To her

Who are you now
Are you still the same
Or did you change somehow
What do you do

At this very moment when I think of you
And when I'm looking back
How we were young and stupid
Do you remember that?

No matter how I fight it, can't deny it
Just can't let you go

I still need you
I still care about you
Though everything's been said and done
I still feel you like
I'm right beside you
But still no word from you

Now look at me
Instead of moving on
I refuse to see
That I keep coming back
Yeah, I'm stuck in a moment
That wasn't meant to last

I've tried to fight it, can't deny it
You don't even know that

I still need you
I still care about you
Though everything's been said and done
I still feel you like
I'm right beside you
But still no word from you

No, No... I wish I could find you
Just like you found me, that I
Would never let you go

*****************************************************************

Miko is flying off this afternoon so I will take her to the airport. We spent last night talking. And talking. About stuff. Very tiring indeed. In the end, I made clear my direction and sent her in tears. Oh well, it's better to be honest than accomodating I reckon. But we're fine. Absolutely.

It's strange. It's so strange. It's bloody strange - the selection process.

Miko Miko Miko!!! Oi Oi Oi!!!!

2006-04-11T01:15:00.000+08:00

Miko's in Melbourne. Miko's in Melbourne.

Yes. My Japanese princess is here. From the Land of the Rising Sun.

I'm happy somewhat. She lamented my lack of shock when she suddenly arrived at my front door on Friday morning. It was almost as if I knew she was coming. Mik's been really busy with her Dad's work since, so we haven't had that much time together. Still, we had a couple of priceless dinners, and she's somewhat forgiven me for what happened on Valentine's Day. (Refer to the post on Feb 14th if you've got nothing to do) Strange though, I'm pretty sure I didn't do anything wrong. Anyhow, we haven't gotten around to shop/walk the city. No photographs either, so I whipped up a quick montage.

I guess it's just nice to see her again. We parted on bad terms, and while I wasn't exactly troubled, I was admittedly wistful. But that said, reconciliation is always a good thing though amazingly satirical on the odd occasion.

To me, Miko is so beautiful I feel a tinge of weakness in my knees whenever I look at her. But then again, so would any guy for that matter.

To be continued...

********************************************************************

I received a totally hilarious email today from Kumar.

Dear BabyBuggyBumper,

Kumar has invited you to join a new group on Friendster
NEW GROUP:Sydney Indians

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Love Generation

2006-04-08T06:16:00.000+08:00

What ALL of you should do today:

1. Look at the friends around you and tell them you love them. On second thoughts, just do something nice.. you might freak them out otherwise.

2. Call mum and dad and tell them you love them.

3. Look at the stacks of assignments on the table and say you love them. Because you are priviledged to have the chance to study. Never EVER forget that.

4. Look at the food in your refrigerator and be thankful you have food to eat.

5. Look at the money in your pocket and be thankful you have money to spend.

6. Look at the clothes in the wardrobe and be thankful you don't have to walk around stark naked.

7. Look at your body in the mirror. Marvel at it because you are beautifully and wonderfully made. How do scientists believe in evolution I wonder??!!

8. Kiss the computer you're using. Only 2% of the world own computers.

9 & 10. Most importantly, remember the Creator who made you, and say "Thank you God, I Love You"

People I love deeply... :)

Like what Jane said, it is most blessed to love and be loved in return.

"Abide in faith, hope and love, but the greatest of these is love" - 1 Corinthians 13:13

"What the world needs now, is love, sweet love, not just for anyone, but for everyone" - Sophie Zelmani

h-h-h-h-h-happening!!!

2006-03-28T21:15:00.000+08:00

This is a somewhat massive update.

Not that I’ve suddenly become happening or anything, just that a lot has happened.

On Sunday, Lyn, Yvette, Janice, Jem and I went to the Commonwealth Games since Lyn had an extra ticket. I never expected to go actually, thought when the opportunity arrived, I found it irresistible. Somehow, none of us actually got off our ass cheering (except for maybe Lyn). Which is expected, since the Gold medal match was been Singapore and Singapore. It’s fantastic how a little red dot can be so dominant in any sport by sweeping the gold, silver and bronze medals. Though in the light of importing Cheena talent, it seems rather unspectacular after all. Anyway, Yvette got an autographed Singapore flag, courtesy of gold medalist Zhang Xueling, who beat Li Jia Wei.

THE TICKET!!! MELBOURNE 2006

Golden girl Zhang Xueling

Silver girl Li Jia Wei

Yvette's autograph

***************************************************************

I met Vicky along Lygon Street today. I have not seen her in say, 4 years. Her first question: “Ey, Jon, are you really really married? I heard a lot of people say that you’re married and that they’ve seen your wife”. Needless to say, this is the most absurd junk I’ve ever heard. Now I know why the girls have been staying away. There is NO missus Lai okay?! Affirmative. Now ladies, come to papa… :)

***************************************************************

Received a surprise email from Audrey asking how I’m settling down in Australia. I’m not exactly excited. In fact, I’d much rather she DIDN’T email me because now I have to think of a reply which is bothersome considering she’s such a fragile character. Ugh! Hate exes. Mega-yuck!!!

***************************************************************

Received yet another surprise email. Now, I’m pretty sure this isn’t spam because it comes with a specific email address and a real name. I’m just wondering how the hell she managed to get hold of my address. Hmmm…

Dear Jon,

I heard you’re a good guy and not too bad looking as well.

I'm 1.68m tall. My hair is well, it's like that! Haha. I mean, it's naturally sun-kissed, I don't do anything fancy with it and my body size?! Haha. Now that's funny. I'm slim. I eat alot and I'm still the same. That should say something yea? My clothing style... I like sexy (not hoochie or hooker like) yet casual stuff. I maybe brought up in a modern and liberal household but I am still deeply rooted in my Asian roots and my religious background which is Islam. Nonetheless, I'm not one of those extremists. I'm very much in the middle of everything. Balance is key for me and I think I'm looking for someone who shares my principles.

In terms of a relationship, it's nice to have someone to talk to at the end of the day. I need someone I can trust and someone who enjoys quiet moments as much as he likes going crazy. Like I've mentioned before, Reading is a huge part of me and it'd be nice to be able to discuss books with someone. I grew up with Soccer so yeahhh, 'nuff said.

I am doing this because my friends think that I've given up on the idea of falling in love. . Well, maybe I have or maybe I'm just tired of getting hurt. Haha. So here I am trying to prove them wrong and trying to give Fate a nudge. It's unconventional yes, but hey, let's just give it a try yea? I just completed Junior College and my A-Levels and I'm currently waiting to be enrolled into a university. Oh yeah, I'm working too. I enjoy reading, the current affairs, soccer, humanitarian/social work and shopping.

Anyway, this was my reply:

Dear R,

How did you manage to get my email address? In other words, who sabotaged me? :)

That aside, I’m truly flattered. Thank you for introducing yourself, you’re a charming character. In case you didn’t know, I am already attached. Besides, I’m currently pursuing my studies in Melbourne.

I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been hurt so many times. Though I gather you must be a strong girl to keep persevering. Don’t give up. Fate has an uncanny way of showing up at the most unexpected times. There are good men all over the place. The folly of youth is impulsiveness and an irrational mind. Count it as a learning curve and draw out the positives. Be patient. You’re still only 19.

Finally, life is beautiful. So smile and stop worrying about these things.

Cheers, Jon

2006-03-26T00:23:00.000+08:00

Jane

There was only you.
There is only you.

The Pink Stripes - Seven Nation Army

2006-03-25T19:57:00.000+08:00

Due to the many requests, I thought I should post a picture of the pink-striped girl. Sorry for the blanked images. It so happens I DO know her. Moreoever A LOT of her friends are my friends too. I won't do this normally, but for the curious eyes here you go. She's so sizzling in person I admit I took a second glance. And a third. And a fourth.

If you REALLY want to know who she is, email me or msn me: jonathan@ilovejesus.net

********************************************************************

Played a gruelling game of basketball this morning for two and a half hours. After that, I trudged to Victoria Market, tired and dirty for my weekly grocery shopping. On the way back, KFC @ Grattan Street, I saw this surfer chick.

I glanced at her direction.
And did it again.
She made eye contact.
I turned away.
The traffic light turned green.
The cars zoomed across the road.
I stole a peek towards KFC.

She was still there.
Still looking at me.
I winked at her.
She returned the wink.

The pedestrian light turned green.
I picked up my grocery bags and crossed the road.
I turned back.

She was still there.
Still looking at me.
Still flirting.
I smiled at her.
And the guy she was eating with.
She returned the smile.

Practice your zoolander in your bathroom. Perfect it. Don't say that life isn't fair. Nobody is a loser (except the pathetic guy with her). God is gracious. We are all beautiful. In our own ways.

Abigail Ashley~~

2006-03-22T06:32:00.000+08:00

I met Abigail today. Some of you might remember her as the ACJC girl with the big boobs. Whatever… I’m not a booby person and I certainly have never been attracted to her assets or her any other part.

I remember spending February 19th 2000 with her. It is a significant date for the fact that it was the last day of my student life in Singapore. At the tender, naïve age of 16, I thought she was the bomb, the goddess. I’m obviously wrong. Nevertheless, it was the first time I went out with an ACJC girl and it was quite big deal (at that time). I think she probably thought it was so cool to be out with a guy studying overseas (at that time). This unforgettable, poignant moment was and is one of my so-called highlight reels.

Today when I met her, the emotion from 6 years ago overwhelmed me initially. We reminiscenced about the first time we met, in the ACJC choir. How we never took our eyes off each other, and she waited for me to approach her. I recall how bloody nervous I was asking her out, and the delirium that followed after she said yes.

We laughed, talked and ate fettuccine. And once more, I felt 16 again. I was in the white shirt and navy blue pants, and she, in the white blouse and navy blue skirt. We were in the old ACJC void deck, the one that stank and sold 40 cent plain pratas. Neither of us has really changed at all. Essentially, we are the same kids who went out on February 19th 2000. Yes since then, we have had our fair share of bumps and knocks throughout the years but come back stronger thanks to a common indomitable spirit. Paranoia quickly goes right out of the window in the face of opportunity. Being lied to is part and parcel of life. Abstaining would mean defeat. Resting would mean delay and loss of momentum. The best thing to do is just press on in faith.

I told her that she looked fantastic and that it was wonderful to meet her again after nearly 4 years without contact. She returned the compliment in a most coquettish manner which I found somewhat unbecoming but altogether refreshing. Then I kissed her on the hand and took her back to her hotel, thus rounding off a most satisfactory evening.

Smiling at the Cracked Walls

2006-03-19T20:38:00.000+08:00

Church was such a ripper today. Melvin preached on Ezra and its wonderful how scripture written thousands of years ago are strangely still so applicable in our everyday lives. I guess the Word of God is timeless, as they say. Love you God!!

******************************************************

I wish that people would sometimes exercise prudence especially when working in a group. The fact that group work lasts for 12 weeks means that we should work in harmony for 12 weeks. This also means no hitting on your group mates or freaking them out. Barely 4 weeks into the semester, I’m at the stage where I’m no longer flattered by the attention. I’m pissed off and extremely annoyed. When I couldn’t get Jane on the phone, I called maybe 6-7 times, which is already A LOT. But 17 miscalls is outrageous. It’s absurd and quite simply, exasperating. My goodness!! I can’t believe I'm saying this!

******************************************************

Saw the pink striped girl again, this time in baby blue spaghettis. She’s still very pretty, but I was more attracted to this wall instead. Just outside Feli and Yan’s place at Little Palmerston.

I think you can see why. :)

On my return

2006-03-16T06:04:00.000+08:00

It’s been 3 weeks since returning to Melbourne.

The work load here is driving me nuts. Group work also drives me up the wall. Not so much the team mates, but the idea of having everyone agree on a set way to do things. 2 people may still be alright, but 11 people with conglomerating ideas is chaos. When it comes to design, Architects do have a strong sense of individuality/sensitivity as well as egos boiling under the surface, ready to erupt at the slightest provocation. Passion is not a crime.

As such, I have little time for entertainment. Late night coffees are becoming an every-so-often affair, usually to enable me to relieve the tension within. Submerging myself in work has made be oblivious to the insanity happening around me. I hang out in the faculty library, supermarket and gym. Sad? Well, I think 97% of students here do the same thing. The remaining 3% fail their exams.

On a separate issue, I realize the temptation around me is so great. I don’t mean to brag but it really seems that more and more females are chatting me up. Why? I don’t understand. Are they just desperate or am I feeding my ego and cheating myself? I find myself strangely uncomfortable at times and I reckon its my paranoia. But it can’t be. The staring eyes, the flirty smiles. Obviously, I don’t respond. I don’t wish to.

Coming back here, I am also conscious of the fact I never lost interest in her. I thought I did. But I’m wrong. However, right now, they are other priorities – post graduate year is really tough. So I am consecrating myself and waiting patiently. She’s worth the wait. Definitely.

One day you might read this, or you might not. I hope then, you will see a shred of goodness in me. I will wait. 4 months, 1 year, 2 years. It doesn’t matter.

Because you are the most beautiful girl…

la beauté a incarné

2006-03-13T21:31:00.000+08:00

The most beautiful girl

There she goes
There she goes again
Racing through my brain
And I just can't contain
This feeling that remains

There she goes
There she goes again
Pulsing through my veins
And I just can't contain
This feeling that remains

Edit: You had the chance and you didn't take it.
Big mistake, BIG mistake...

2006-03-11T08:34:00.000+08:00

OCF ROCKS!!!!

I love my group.

sheralyn.sinwei.tracy.eleanor.harsha.jean.yen.davin.yeemeng.jason.yenkhai

Thank you, God. :) You rock too!!!!

Crunch Time

2006-03-09T23:08:00.000+08:00

It was me versus her one on one.

She asked me out.

G: So what do you of us being together?
J: No, not much.
G: Ever crossed your mind?
J: Yes, for a fleeting moment I admit. A few years ago.
G: Why? I was already attached.
J: I think you know me better. I don’t care for boyfriends, so long as you’re not married, I stand a chance. Oh wait, married women aren’t exactly safe either. Haha…
G: So if I asked you out you would say no?
J: Yes.

Long pause. I could tell she was visibly affected.

J: I’m sorry. I have my reasons.
G: It’s M right?

J: Not really. Partly right though.
G: No its her. I know its her.
J: Suit yourself. I’m cool.
G: Why? What has she done for you?
J: Nothing. I don’t wish to compare either. I’ve known you for 6 years but I’ve known her for a much shorter time.
G: Then what do you want Jon?
J: Nothing.
G: Not even her?

J: Yes, her. I want her. Only I’ve got priorities in my life right now. The most important of course is to get a good degree. I need someone who compliments me, who keeps me going – firing on all cylinders. I need someone who understands I cannot be with her 24-7. She has to be mature and independent and learn to trust me.
G: So is M like that?
J: Yes, I reckon so. We have our priorities right. That’s a good thing. No pressure.
G: So why couldn’t I do that?
J: You could I guess. If this happened 6 months ago, you would be in my arms by now. I’m not after the hanky panky, lets-just-go-to-the-pictures-and-have-a-good-time relationship. I guess it cuts deeper now.
G: Why?
J: Because 6 months ago, I wouldn’t have bothered. You not a bad looking lady. Haha…
G: How about now?
J: It’s different. There’re too many distractions. I would rather commit myself to someone exclusively, confident that we both love each other. Then we could both pursue our aspirations and encourage each other. I am somewhat career orientated though I’m not fanatical or anything. It’s just that at this very point of time, I would prefer no complications. I don’t want to get distracted. It’s either her, or no one else I’m afraid.
G: And that woman is M?
J: Yes. Very much so.
G: You want her long term?
J: Yes, of course.
G: But you’ve only known her for such a short time!
J: True. All the better. Familiarity breeds contempt. It’s a bit of a risk but that’s me. The element of surprise/risk is a good thing.
G: Okay, I understand.
J: Good. I’m sorry. It’s hard to explain sometimes.
G: No I get it.

Pause.

G: I’m just envious.
J: Of? M?
G: Yea. You’re not always this committed.
J: That’s true. But I have been committed before, Circumstances, and how people change. You know. It scares me sometimes. I probably tend to follow my brain more than my heart. I guess that’s the reason. If something isn’t possible, why start? Then again, if it is feasible, why should it end? I don’t know, things don’t make sense at all sometimes. It starts weird but could end wonderfully. Don’t we all chase this “could” bit of happiness??

You see, G and I have always had something between us. I see it as the slightly flirtatious nature of the both of us. But when it came down to crunch time, I was just glad I was true to myself. The temptation is always there. It’s not as if G had 3 eyes and 1 boob. She is perfectly normal. And she’s beautiful.

"All people are equal, but some people are more equal than others."

– adaptation of George Orwell

Life's greatest paradox

2006-03-03T22:18:00.000+08:00

isn't funny how a small, seemingly insignificant act can lead someone on?
one more step and they ask you out.

but here you are, explicitly telling someone you like them and they don't get it?
one more step and they still don't get it.
two more steps and they still don't get it.
three more steps and POOF! they're gone.

totally bizarre...

Love is Pain

2006-03-01T22:22:00.000+08:00

It beats so quick it bruises my chest
Heart molested by the feelings of light
The faster it beats the harder it gets
The thread that mangles makes it's last fight
I walk only to tumble and crawl
To the loved one I thought I once knew
The last drops of my hope make their last haul
And suddenly I realise there's nothing left to do
I stumble and cry without another fight
Screaming to those who watch and stare
Wishing God would end my life that night
When I realised that everything inside is bare
"Things will get better" my friends say in vain
But don't they understand that my love involves pain?

It's it a love-hate relationship. You get the picture.

Of hair, legs and heels

2006-02-23T15:06:00.000+08:00

Last night was unbelieveable. Incredible.

I was seduced by intelligence, wit, charm, beauty. Albeit with a tinge of forgetfulness. Oh how I long to be with her another night. :)

you touch my tra la la...

2006-02-21T18:20:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was the boyzzz night. With 2 extra girls. I mean Xtra (somewhat LOL). All I can say is we are so full of shit. Too bad I don't have any of the photos yet but I do have the Ding Ding Dong song by Gunther here.

http://wm.warnermusic.com/Sweden/Svenskt/gunther_dingdongsong_hi.wmv

It's REALLY funny. And we did a parody of it. What can I say?

Damn, I will certainly miss all your shit, fun and laughter, yo. :(

******************************************************

We had been wanting to play ball for a long time. Somehow never got around to doing it for some reason. Today Jemery and I rather impulsively made our way to the petrol station to play ball. Sorry, to pump the ball more like. At 300PSI. No serious game of course, I would die laughing.

Here's Jeremy Hornacek, the best "fast break" player in NBA.

"Fadeaway Ding" - still sleeping in band camp.

And me... teaching Michael Jordan a few tricks. I think he should be a little more original instead.

And of course, there were those SMSes in the morning that really invigorated me. (!!!) and made my day!!!

Che gelinda manina

2006-02-20T19:30:00.000+08:00

Today is officially my second last day of work. But since I’m on leave tomorrow, I don’t have to go back. Looking at the building where I spent the last one and half years, I can’t help but feel a tinge of sorrow. It’s not so much the work, or the people, or anything else for that matter but the sense of having-to-do-something everyday. I will miss waking up early in the morning, taking the bus and seeing those familiar faces. I will miss mum’s Milo in the morning and dad hollering at me to hurry up.

I guess just like everyone else, I love my comfort zone. I don’t love Singapore, but I love the feeling of being inside it. Of being protected by a secure government surrounded by the most amazing friends and family. Peeling myself away from the people and lifestyle here is so hard, but I realize that’s what I have to do. I have no choice.

I have to look forward now towards the future. Nothing should be done in regret. On the contrary, life is short. There is no “ideal” time to strike. If you wait and wait and wait for the appropriate time, it will never happen. Army taught me that.

*******************************************************

I delivered a bunch of sunflowers to her house this morning for her birthday. On second thoughts, I’m not exactly sure if that was the best thing to do. But what is done cannot be undone.

She is special, I have to admit. I’ve not felt like that for eons. And while I say that time should not constrain the way we act, I can’t help but feel I’m pushing it a bit too much and rushing for a conclusion. And I don’t like that. It’s not me to do such a thing. I want things to go smoothly, not quickly.

Above all, I need her to understand that I am not joking. I know I don’t have the best history around, but there’s always time for a new start. And I’m willing. You fucking bet I am.

Memories of a not too distant past

2006-02-17T20:35:00.000+08:00

Was just reading through my old old emails from 2001/02. Here's a random email DHD sent to Jem and I. Oh, we were 17 going 18 then.

"Hey there guys..i just went to the new paper to check the CHICKS OUT!!!..hahaa...oh my goodness..those girls..most of them..are HOT HOT HOT!!!...darn...got to lose some flab and jio some chicks boy...jeremy you are rite..geraldine dreiser is soooooooo HOT...WAT TO DO???? shes a mgsian..and a hcjcian...i guess BRAINS and BEAUTY goes together...haha...*$^&%$%*%....if onli i was in NS now..i would be fit..and got chance to jio some hot chic lar...shit lar..aussie has made me lazy and FAT!!!! arghh...but aniwae i believe God has a plan for everiting...oh..baby...geraldine..haha..hcjc produces loads of chics man...HCJC ROCKS...acjc not too bad also lar...chicks...oh my goodness..aniwae ..jeremny...you are an arse lar...must hao lian ur fitness..hahaha...just joking..actually i cant wait to go back singapore to serve NS too..haha..no need to study....hey...how many years do i have to serve if i go back in 2004? cos mr jared says its 3 years..when i tot it was always 2 and a 1/2 years..he is sure its 3 years...cocky fellow...haha...my faculty mates say he doesnt look the type to hold a gun...hahaha...i shant elaborate...oh...did i say that geraldine was doing life sciences..haha..too bad i wont stay in tat field..its sooooo boring..haha..you know i hate to be in the lab and do lab work....its boring for me at least...and i aint smart enough to do honours or phd...probably a post grad med degree would do me real fine...:)...singapore chicks are the best...geesh...i still have a weakness man...singaopore chicks...but then again..onli the educated ones ...and the hot hot ones..haha..i am such an arse....i tink i know you(jeremy) and i are still single...cos we WANT the best..haha..but dont know can get or not..haha..so far i attracted shitty looking ones...mabbe one or two not bad lar..but most are yucks..hahaha...got to lose some flab..and jem..you got to help me lar..hahaha...i wana impress one girl when i go back..hahaha....jonathan is satisfied with his life..of course..his gf is a chio bu..hai....jealous..of that idoit..haha..jem..you know she looks like teresa..haha..but teresa bigger frame ...right jonnie?..anwiae the exams are realli comingup...i din do well last semester..so have to do well this sem...yeah...i cant wait to go back singapore..and party..hahaha...apparently...not many fun parties...or so i heard from friends..hah..but dont fret..jeremy..viv and teresa are holding a party when they go back..haha..and they invited me arleadi.h.ahaha....since these 2 happening chicks are going..haha...sureeeeeeeeeeeeeeee loads of chiobues..but suer loads of army boys also..hahahaha....so tats one party to look forward too....:)..oh my cuz is fine...aniwae...got so much to write..but later lar...now got to go to class....ciao brothers..."

How platonic... The sad truth is of course I no longer love that particular girl. The good thing is that nothing has changed. Gee... did we boys not mature at all since 18??? Hahaha... :)

Valentine's Day - February 14th 2006

2006-02-16T17:59:00.000+08:00

Part I THE RETURN OF MIKO

She called me on valentine’s day - in the morning, saying she wanted dinner with me that night. I was already booked. But I told her yes anyway.

So I met Ms AC for lunch instead of dinner. She’s an amazing woman. Witty, sporty, tan, beautiful and full of 18 year old vigour. I don’t think I was that far off actually. The lunch itself was nothing spectacular. Pleasant at best. Still, I enjoyed myself and hope she did.

Miko for dinner was a different prospect though. Hunting around for a present just made me feel somewhat inferior. Here’s this 18 year old who’s looking for surf wear and can’t afford Mambo. Miko is 20 and she can’t give a shit about surf wear. “Such cheap taste” she says, with a flamboyant smirk. The contrast is somewhat unsettling but I managed to get her a nice pendant. Not too expensive but definitely suited to her taste.

Dinner was okay and the food was so-so. The ambience was sickening. Lovebirds kissing and the more daring of them deflowering their female counterparts. What the…?! They might have even shagged under the table. Who knows? After that we made our way to TCC for some coffee and a quiet chat.

Part II “OH SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!”

Well, we were just settling down when in a distance, I saw Ms AC. I tried not to make eye contact, but it was SO HARD. I was just hoping that she would walk away or just smile at me. But no. She walked right up to me (and Miko), and brandishing the bouquet I presented her this afternoon, purred “Ooo thanks for the lunch and the flowers”. I was seriously stunned by her flippancy and frivolity. The moment she left the table, Miko smashed her glass on the ground and swung away from the table we were sitting in. Oh she cursed as well. Goes something like this “You ****** ***********, you *** ** * *****!!!!”

I pretended to the staring, lovey dovey eyes all around that it wasn’t a big deal. Actually, it wasn’t. Despite her loveliness, Miko was always spoilt. Maybe it’s my fault I spoilt her. I don’t know. Come to think of it, Miko is Hatsumomo and Ms AC is Sayuri/Chiyo. Haha, how apt since Miko is after all, Japanese. To conclude, I don’t understand why Ms AC did that. Still don’t. But screw it. Whatever.

Insisting on my innocence and deciding not to pursue the matter anymore, I met the boys, Jem and DHD at Timbre after that - where everything and everyone was still disgustingly lovey dovey, but the company, comforting.

So that’s how I spent Valentine’s. What a lucky man I am. oooooh!

Valentines

2006-02-13T17:10:00.000+08:00

A few days back, I was telling everyone how I would spend Valentines with my mum. Well, I had a sudden change of heart. Since I am only going to be here for another 10 days, I thought what the heck, let’s just throw caution to the wind. Whatever happens will be strictly no strings attached. Obviously.

So I began sms-ing “victims”. At this point of time, I intercede by saying that sms is NOT a good way to ask someone out. It is devoid of sincerity, at the same time, indicative of a ball-less man. In my case, I couldn’t be bothered. I cast my net far and wide though limited only to girls not in my social group. Things can get messy if you are both well connected. Needless to say, most of them were either already taken or couldn’t give a piss about me. I take this as a compliment. Like “See? I’m not the only one who wants them”. *Sardonic laugh*

Anyway, tomorrow night, I shall date this ACJC J2 girl. I know virtually zilch about her except that she’s hot stuff and she does econs. I think she is even more ignorant/misguided about me, since my friendster profile etc. is all either bogus or outdated. She is in fact, some 3rd degree friend whose phone number I was sabotaged into obtaining a few weeks back.

I’m prone to character and taste swings, having seemingly given up on my Japanese girl craze. Come to think of it, it all started with Miko. No offense Mik, I love you but honestly, I should never have delved into younger women. I no longer have the mentality of an 18 year old. I don’t know what’s cool and funky. I only know middle age women who bitch and even though I hate that, I’m used to it. I’m used to the scandalous and outrageous. If you know what I mean. I’m used to chivalry and all things gentlemanly, as opposed to the rash, crude, brute force of youth.

I pity Ms ACJC. In fact, I have half a mind to cancel everything. However, it will be very impolite and despicable of me. I don’t know whether she’s looking forward to tomorrow or not. To be frank, I couldn’t care less. I’ve had no time to prepare (my fault) anything for her, nor do I know what she likes blah blah blah. But nonetheless, tomorrow I promise to be on fire, to go for the kill. What I lack financially, I will more than make up with creativity and good humour. I see little point in getting roses, bears and lumps of crap that would normally cost a fraction of Valentines’ special prices. Still, she will have a good time. And I mean that. Worse come to worse, 240 hours left in this god-forsaken country – even if I muck it up, does it really matter?

While doodling around work today, I wrote a poem for my fair lady – the one at the window with the long and curly hair.

Les vignes tombent sur la table.
Les feuilles tournent vers la fenêtre,
vers le soleil.
Mes yeux les imitent.
Je sens la lumière du soleil
sur ma figure, sur mes lèvres.
Mes yeux se ferment,
et je sais que tu m'aimes.

J'ouvre les bras, je danse.
Je fleuris dans cette lumière.
Comme les vignes, les feuilles,
qui se parent de vert pour le soleil,
je ne sais pas que tu me vois.
Néanmoins, je danse pour toi.

In case you don’t understand French, here’s what it means in English:

The vines fall across the table.
The leaves turn toward the window,
toward the sun,
as do my eyes.
I feel the sunlight on my face, on my lips.
I close my eyes, and know that you love me.

I open my arms, I dance.
I bloom in that light.
Like the vines, the leaves,
who adorn themselves in green for the sun,
I do not know that you see me.
Nevertheless, I dance for you.

Personally, I reckon French is a rather effeminate language. I can’t think of a more masculine translation. Assuredly, I’m perfectly straight.

Salutations, Moi

The Arrow

2006-02-12T04:47:00.000+08:00

I shot an arrow into the air,
It flew to earth, I knew not where.
For, so swiftly it flew, the sight.
Could not follow it in its flight.

I breathed a song into the air,
It flew to earth, I knew not where.
For who has sight so keen and strong,
That it can follow the flight of song?

Long long afterward, in an oak,
I found the arrow still unbroke.
And the song from beginning to end,
I found again in the heart of a friend...

- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Ms M

2006-02-10T03:34:00.000+08:00

My date with M was horrible. Social-wise it was good fun, date-wise it was rubbish for the simple reason that we couldn’t stop laughing. I know why they say laughter is contagious. Or maybe we had slightly too much veuve which put her in an overly coquettish mood, too much for my liking actually. Besides, we had postponed this “date” for such a long time that the initial hype had all dried up. All my previous acts of chivalry - she had gotten used to, so there was little for me to impress her with. Sometimes, relationships need to gather momentum. Things have to move on quickly before culminating in something great. Time equals impact. The longer you take, the less the impact. Anyhow, I’ve maintained that she isn’t the kind of woman I can take seriously (which is good AND bad), and she’s better off at arm’s length.

************************************************

The roof in my veranda gave way today with great aplomb. Imagine me reading V.S. Naipaul, and all of a sudden this piece of roof collapses without warning. Enough to scare the shit out of anyone. Dad says architects have to get used to this kind of thing. I say Bullshit, architects are supposed to prevent that from happening. But we live in a cheapskate contractor-wannabe-architect-Phua-Chu-Kang-style construction industry in Singapore where economic importance presides over quality. That’s how architects lose business.

KABOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!

Stupid pile of debris which I will probably have to clean up later.... *snarl*

Valentine's

2006-02-06T22:23:00.000+08:00

Its 8 more days before the “much heralded” Valentine’s Day. Trust all you males are having a great time preparing for the day. It is my opinion that females tend to be pickier on this day than on any other day. It is considered a heinous crime should anything go wrong on Valentine’s Day. One might also like to know that Valentine’s Day is the most popular day in the year to initiate a breakup. Stab where it hurts the hardest you see.

What happens about the guys out there who DON’T have a valentine? What you gonna do? Fret not, groan not, yours truly finds himself in the same predicament this year, unless a miracle happens in the next week (which is the reason why I’ve been desperately messaging my female contacts… ahaha just kidding).

I blew an “opportunity” last Friday when I turned down a 28 year old. Some of you will know her. How am I suppose to spend Valentine’s Day with her, I don’t know. Why I even agreed to meet her after 7 months, I am even more clueless. Twas a rough night. It made me revile myself for liking her in the first place. How is possible for complete love to change to immense dislike in 2 years? I cannot comprehend. Oh well… some things are best left alone.

In any case, I have another chance this week when I meet M – this Eurasian woman I know nothing about. I wouldn’t exactly call it a date, more of lets-just-see-other-and-get-over-it kind of thing. But of course, there is always a tinge of hope that she might stay around for Valentines. Will let you know how it goes in due time.

**********************************************

Incidentally, I was taking the bus back when this hot babe sat next to me. I was sleeping initially so I didn’t know. When I did know, I couldn’t get back to sleep. Heh… and that’s precisely when she started to sleep. And boy did her head loll all over the place. It was only a matter of time before it handed on my shoulder.

Girl: Oh sorry. Really sorry. I’m so tired.
Jon: It’s okay, go and sleep.

(2nd time, her head bonks hard on my shoulder)

Girl: Oh no! Sorry sorry.
Jon: It’s alright. I’d rather you stay there than bang your head around.
Girl: Alright. Thanks than.

Guess what? She stays on my shoulder. WTF?!?!?!! But what a nice thing. I bet she was too sleepy to realise what she did though. Because under normal circumstances, guys don’t get what they want. =P

Memoirs of a Geisha (2)

2006-02-02T02:13:00.000+08:00

As I mentioned in an earlier post, here are some pictures of the babes in "Memoirs of a Geisha". It is really difficult to find pictures of Suzuka Ohgo, since she is such a small girl, only 12 years old. She's very impressive though. :)

Love the photography and the background. Isn't a wonder Suzuka gets to practice running on high heels at 12??

Another lovely picture. Akin to the story, Chiyo has grey eyes, and so does Suzuka, albeit contact lenses.

Here's Gong Li (Hatsumomo) with the snarly bitch get-tha-hell-outta-here look.... oOoooOOO Swweeet

Here's Hatsumomo evicted from the Okiyo after she trashed the place and Sayuri became the heir. Hatsumomo's on the way to my place to take a shower.

Hatsumomo's plays a really bitchy character in the film. You know how Zhang Ziyi is touted as the next Gong Li. I don't think Gong Li likes that, and she's certainly letting Zhang Ziyi know.

Enjoy the pictures (AND the video)

Memoirs of a Geisha

2006-02-01T22:09:00.000+08:00

Here's a video clip of a little enactment done by YouTube.com mocking "Memoirs of a Geisha". Okay to be honest, it wasn't a bad movie, just not as good as the book (like LOTR, Potter etc.) I just hope the Da Vinci Code won't be a flop either.

Zhang Ziyi didn't look as good as I expected her too, but Gong Li was absolutely gorgeous and Sakura Ohgu was oh so cute, despite being just a little girl. I would have prefered the mains to be Japanese, but seeing as how there are no internationally acclaimed Japanese actresses, Hollywood couldn't afford to take the risk. I understand.

Finally, Michelle Yeoh is out of place. She should retire and stop tarnishing her legacy (or what remains of it). Who would pay 10,000Yen for her???????!!!!

P/S You might have to scroll down to see the movie... don't know how to make it appear higher up. I hate this HTML shit.

Indiaaaaa...

2006-01-30T17:40:00.000+08:00

Jean and I at Bakerzin.

She leaves for India tonight, a big big adventure in store I'm sure. The learning curve heightens rapidly at 20. It's not easy, but the experience is all that counts. Love you babe, know you'll do well. :)

Why NS isn't so bad

2006-01-26T01:50:00.000+08:00

I have 6 more working days to go before flying off to Melbourne. Of course, my emotions are mixed. To be honest, these 2 years have been rather torrid, but just when I can safely say I’m getting used to it, its time to uproot and move again.

Contrary to the most popular statement made in National Service (“Serve my NS and fuck off”), it actually isn’t so bad. I know I had my way a lot of times, because I’m not entirely from a regimental force, plus they allowed me to study as well. In fact, other than the shit pay, I see no reason to complain. The guys are great – people I will likely never ask for help unless I need an assassin. It really made me learn to communicate, to rid myself of the lofty position of being a “degree holder in NS”. I reckon the guys were apprehensive at first. I did get my fair share of stick in the beginning mind you. There are always jealous people around, people who aren’t good enough as you.

As a result of my late promotion, you can imagine how I was mocked. In any case, God taught me patience and kindness at the right times. Not once did I lash out at anyone. Eventually when I did get promoted, it was no big deal. I suppose if you have pretty low education and somehow get a good rank, you can be proud of it. For me, it never really matters. Rank in camp is only applicable from 7am-6pm. After that, you are like anybody else. Guys who brag a lot in camp usually end up with bricks on their head and scratches on their bikes/cars. It pays to treat everyone as your equal.

We are after all, in the same boat. I’m just completing my 2 years here and so are you. Why make things difficult?

Laugh and laugh

2006-01-13T05:06:00.000+08:00

Laughter is the best medicine so they say. It’s true. I’m genuinely surprised by the amount of laughter in this world. Imagine a world without laughter; everyone would sink into depths of depression. It could be because I’ve just finished my huge assignment (and passed) and therefore everything seems brighter.

Met Kimberly for dinner last night at Zam Zam. Her laughter is infectious. Terribly infectious. She’s makes everything so funny (in a good way of course). I think maybe I should meet such people more often, and then I’ll quit “pouting and being stuck up”.

Tuesday night at Ding’s place was a blast. Grocery shopping reminded me of the times at Safeway, as did cooking at a friends place. Btw, why is it when I cook with mum it ain’t so fun? Is it because everything is so perfect? I prefer to spill spaghetti down the sink sometimes and laugh my balls off than be totally professional. Life needs mistakes.

Throw in some brilliant pasta, fondue, shit sausages, the shawshank redemption, a babe (and her awesome tiramisu) and it makes a near-perfect night. Not perfect because of marshmallows and chubby bunnies. But in the name of fun, we can and should do anything we want. 22 is still a pretty young age after all.

Oh take a look at Jem's account. Hey, so if Daph wasn't around, we could be MORE RETARDED (!!!!!!!)

What happened at Syd...

2006-01-03T20:48:00.000+08:00

I shall attempt to give a rather detailed update of my time at Sydney. Of course, writing this about a week later means that my memory is rather fuzzy. Such was the manner of the trip though, where nothing momentous occurred, save a special Japanese experience. But that will come later, save the juicy bits for the end.

It was all about shopping, though one wonders why you would shop in a country where the exchange rate isn’t exactly like the rupee (no offence). I guess it’s a girl thing to shop, and shop, and shop, and shop AND shop. So when you have a mother, an elder sister and a younger sister on board, you and dad get disposed off at Borders while they blissfully gallivant around malls to add to already bursting wardrobes.

Here’s what I got:

A pair of Mambo berms from Surf Dive N Ski - $40
A pair of Levi’s - $60 (SUPERRR BUY)
A pair of Ripcurl thongs - $10

Altogether I spent $110. Don’t ask what my sisters bought though, this blog doesn’t have enough webspace.

Other than the irrational, irksome shopping habits of females, Sydney is generally a pleasant place to be in, though definitely not as liveable as Melbourne. It has a nicer waterfront, a more vibrant nightlife, greater selection of food, less flies and of course the Opera House. However, transport, accommodation etc. is more expensive. Probably the most abhorrent malevolence is Sydney teeming with bloody Asians, a necessary evil. To think that it wasn’t even term time. Just imagine how Asian-ised Sydney will be once term starts in March. Definitely takes away the “studying overseas for exposure to foreign cultures” notion eh? Melbourne is not as bad. NOT YET at least.

We visited the places every tourist goes to: Market Square, Chinatown, Paddy Market, Paddington Market, Birkenhead, AMP Tower, Powerhouse Museum, Opera House, Harbour Bridge, Hunter Valley, and Blue Mountains etc. You can check them out on the net. The photos on the net are better than what you see in reality anyway. *chortle*

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Miyako

This is what my sister calls “flirting under mum’s nose”. Uh huh, I agree. I take risks. No risks no gain right? Let it be known that I had no intention of any such event occurring. Except that, when it comes, go for it. Nothing good comes by twice. Simple. Miyako Akita floated by and like the bastard I am, I grabbed her, with arms wide open.

Sydney has plenty of Japanese – tourists, students and residents likewise. Miyako isn’t any of these. She is an air hostess. Singapore Airlines. Typical petite sort with dreamy eyes, blondish locks and a captivating smile. I was pretty lucky that mum (who is a light sleeper) was quite tired, so she didn’t catch us yakking at 2am in the seat next to me. She speaks middling English, with that Japanese twang. It’s not describable I’m afraid, except that it sounds pretty cute. Haha… I gave her my number. She didn’t return the favour. I was thinking it’s probably one of the 8 out of 10 times I don’t succeed.

Couple of days later, she called, asking for my itinerary for the night. Air hostess normally have 3-4 days between flights to recuperate from a 7 hour flight. Actually, it’s to prevent them from taking too many assignments and thus earning more than the pilot. I met her up that night in a little club 5 minutes walk from the hotel. I realized she was staying really nearby, and that made sending her back a lot more convenient (mega-phew!!!)

By the second date on the following, it became evident that she was rather desperate or just needed companionship. To her credit, I believe it’s the latter as I’m not hot property. Anyone who dared to give her his number would probably have succeeded. We met at Krispy Kreme for donuts on the 27th of December. After a bit of grabbing here and there, I took her back to her hotel. I stayed awhile with her in her hotel room then left.

The third time I saw her, she was leaving for Quebec. After a quick coffee, she kissed me and left. And I’ve not seen her since. She left me her Singapore number though I shall not call her. I think we closed matters short and sweet, as abruptly as we began and that’s that. Meeting her again could well be weird. She might have screwed another guy.

It’s imperative for men not to love physical activity i.e. making out too much, because you just want it more and more. It drives men nuts, and then they end up wasting money on harlotry and other form of debauchery.

Girls can remain dormant for longer. But only some girls mind you. :)

*********************************************************

To conclude, Miyako ironically became the highlight of Sydney. Uhmmm… bring on more Japanese.

Whatcha gonna do when the HOLS come!!!

2005-12-23T16:34:00.000+08:00

I'll be in Sydney for the next few days, after that KL...

Finally, finally, a break after 11 months of acute torture where I've attained superhuman status... *sick laugh* but I shall do a 2005 review once I get back. You see, it wouldn't be fair to write one now because something really spectacular might happened in the next 8 days or so.

ah well... till then... SYDNEY, THE CHAMP IS HERE!!!!

The yucky part of X'mas

2005-12-16T03:17:00.000+08:00

How NOT to prepare for an exam on Tuesday (20 Dec)

1. Go to AlleyBar on Wednesday (14 Dec)

2. Go out for dinner @ Arab Street (15 Dec)
3. Go out for an invite only @ Santaro Japanese Restaurant (16 Dec)
4. Go out for family dinner on Saturday (17 Dec)
5. Attend a full day's church functions (18 Dec)

But honestly guys, thanks for the company. I love y'all. Seriously!! I think if I was ever devoid of friends, I'd just dissolve into the Earth. It's not to say I put studying wayyyyy back on my list of priorities (arrr noo..) but it just sucks having to study so hard when everyone is in come-back-from-Melbourne mood or in a Christmas mood.

P/S I realise I have fucking big eye bags.

Get a JOB for sure (not spam) GOOD STUFF!

2005-12-13T22:58:00.000+08:00

Jem, this is for you regarding your job woes. And for any of you who can’t find a vacation job. I was thinking of a job ya’ll would surely get. Not a chance of rejection, plus you have them rich dicks slobbering at your feet. Know what? Be a SECURITY GUARD. Yeah, the job with the most prestigious prospectus. If you were an illegal worker applying for a Singaporean citizenship, just tell them you want to be a security guard. No worries, you’d be hollering Majulah Singapura in no time.

Alright, 10 reasons to be a security guard in Singapore:

1. Like I said, the best job prospects around town. Moreover, being "young and strong" would give you a huge edge over old wrinkly uncles.

2. Condominiums are high density living, implying there are a great many residents. What this means is that there will be lots and lots of eye candy floating around. In no time, you’ll know all of them. Cast your net far and wide, get what I mean.

3. You’re young, strong and in uniform. Get that, in uniform!! (albeit less glamorous than the Navy, Air Force etc) But if postmen get attention, why shouldn’t you?

4. If you’re well educated, you’ll have a good chance with the girls. (Provided they believe you’re really a graduate)

5. Little boys point at you and go “Mummy, I want to be just like him”. And get gobsmacked.

6. If you’re working in a really posh condominium like Nassim Jade, you get to check out the swanky cars and sexy celebrities.

7. Not forgetting, you get to refuse them entry into their condo too unless they tip you. If not they could be PUNK'D by you.

8. You get to be nocturnal. If you’re an illegal immigrant anyway, it helps to lie low by day and earn money by night.

9. Mocking those dumb graduates with Master degrees but can’t find jobs is pretty satisfying.

10. It’s basically a no-brainer since we have (or like to believe we have) an efficient police force. If there’s any trouble, just call 999. They’ll come around faster than you can whip out your baton.

So there you go. Be a security guard. Hell yeah! Anyone? Jem????

all about the prom, prom, prom

2005-12-09T06:14:00.000+08:00

By the pricking of my thumbs,
Something pretty this way comes.

Seriously, what would keep me blogging till 6?
1. A good Christian girl.
2. A scholar… oh yes, a scholar. Ho hum!!!!

Looks like I’ve uncovered something new eh… *gleam in eye*

The day's reality check

2005-12-04T22:45:00.000+08:00

I don’t normally church hop. Hmm… In fact, I’ve never church hopped in Singapore. I suppose it’s due to the regimental, stoically religious background I’ve been brought up in.

Today was slightly different I guess. Attended Wesley Methodist instead. It was for a rather special someone. Of course, the aim of church is never to please someone, rather it’s for edification purposes. Just like you don’t go to a particular church because Joanne Peh worships there. I know a lot of fools who do this. In particular, young, impressionable 15-16 year old males with hormones a-raging. It sounds good right? Go to church, people think you’re holy, you get to ogle eye candy, mingle with them and ALL under the mask of Christianity. Not to mention people are nice, there’s free refreshments and good music. And after all of that, you get to go to heaven. Hallelujah!!!!! Nay nay… it’s not the case, God ain’t blind. If you’re one of those people, wake up to your folly. It’s much better to be ignorant than to be misguided. I’ve been there done that by the way.
I attended Wesley to encourage Ms. Special and in so doing, hearten my walk with God. The sermon was sharp, succinct and cutting. It is said that the Word of God is like a 2-edged sword. I found it rather like a roller cutter. MULTI-edged and terribly conscience seeking. Ugh, I’m not too fond of such uncomfortable sermons, a wretched sinner as I am. In any this case, my purpose of ‘church hopping’ was fulfilled to some extent, praise God.

That inevitably puts me in a rather good mood. Considering I was locked out my house for about 45 minutes, I didn’t scream and shout at dad and mum. No, I broke the lock. That’s what I call personifying calmness and collectedness.

*****************************************************

I was also told I have no time for women. That just sucks. After a lot of thought, I decided it wasn’t the best thing to hear, but it is a reality check. It’s true. I don’t have time. I can make time for her and I will. But it’s just that “by default” I have no time.

Nippoooooon

2005-12-03T16:14:00.000+08:00

So I met Rei for lunch today. She certainly quells my temporary "Japanese woman" desire. She's very pretty AND she speaks Japanese. Too bad she doesn't speak very fluent English. Conversational English is really the universal language. NOT sex mind you.

I wouldn't want to delve too deep into any relationship though. She's Miko's cousin... heh : !!!!!!!!

:))))))

2005-11-29T23:47:00.000+08:00

It’s always nice to have good, heartfelt conversations because it makes both parties feel good about each other. Forever is a long time, but hey, friendships do last a lifetime at least. They say familiarity breeds contempt. I beg to differ.

To the girl: Thanks for your time plus the emotions. It’s worth much, much more than subway sandwiches and Snapple green tea lime. :) You rock big time!

“Friends are friends for forever, if the Lord’s the Lord of them” – Michael W. Smith

nabei...

2005-11-25T02:29:00.000+08:00

Right, I just sent you off to the airport. Back to the New Territory, back to that Cantonese speaking, walking dessert, bubble tea, cutesy, poser, crap-hole, Japanese wannabe country they call Hong Kong.

I don’t understand why you by came for the weekend. I may have been all smiles, but deep down, I was wearing a mask they call uneasy friendship. It’s complicated you say (but you love Jon, you’re always so safe and secure with Jon around you) yeah, to stupid people like you. To me, it’s pretty damn clear cut. If you spent a thousand bucks flying to Singapore expecting a glorious shag, I’m sorry. You didn’t even manage to unzip my pants. (Good try though). Not that I care, its ego boosting. By the way, if I really needed a shag, you’d have been screwed so hard you couldn’t even make it to your flight today. For your information, I never loved you. I never will. I sure as hell never said I did. And selling your body to me isn’t quite the solution. Yes, you tempt me. I’m a man. Every single bit of me wants to screw you silly except my soul. Unfortunately, the soul is an enormously powerful thing (thank God). Okay, it’s quite powerful.

That’s why you know if you did try harder. Stay naked longer, masturbate in front of me, maybe you’d have gotten what you wanted. But you crumpled up like trash, wrinkled your pretty little features. And that’s it, Game Over. Sex. I’m thinking that’s precisely why you flew here for. No, it wasn’t a business trip. Hell no. It was a ploy to make me waste a day's leave. I’m glad I wasted your money than.

Sorry you cried your way up to the plane. Sorry I turned my back on you. I’m not about to hurt you. I will never hurt you because I love you. And that includes not sleeping with you. I love you.

Why can’t you understand? It’s been 6 fucking years…

when will my candle burn out?

2005-11-23T02:05:00.000+08:00

"To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,

Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,

To the last syllable of recorded time;

And all out yesterdays have lighted fools

The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!

Life's but a walking shadow; a poor player,

That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,

And then is heard no more: it is a tale

Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,

Signifying nothing."

- Macbeth